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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried/upset/cross that a Social Worker...

128 replies

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:36

Turned up at our school today and told me (a parent) that she was here to collect a child being taken into care?

Basically, I went into the office to hand in trip money and was followed by a Social Worker (she had her ID badge in her hand). There was no-one in the office so we made small talk, after a few minutes she said "I don't know if I am in the right place" so I asked her why she was here, perhaps I could point her in the right direction, her reply? "I am here to pick up a little girl going into care".

I was shocked by that but then someone came into the office so she told them then name of the girl and where she was taking her. So I now know, that a child is being taken into care, who the child is and where she is going.

I have the womans name from her ID badge, should I complain or AIBU and I should let her get on with her work?

I just know if (heaven forbid) something like this happened to me/my dc I would be horrified if I thought it could become playground tittle tattle so easily! (For the record I have not mentioned it to anyone and I will not mention it to anyone - but I know many others wouldn't see the harm in it!)

SO, keep stum or stamp and shout?

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:58

Stamping is too much, but I think you feel too strongly about it to stay schtum. It could be that a word in her ear from her line manager is enough to stop it happening again, rather than than going in really heavy and her getting a disciplinary (or worse).

squirrel42 · 17/03/2009 21:59

If I was the social worker and it was an innocent mistake, I would in all honestly want someone to raise it as an issue. It's not a being-fired level problem (unless you're on a final warning for similar things) but unless someone either tells me or my line manager, I might go on and do the same thing again and someone could end up getting hurt.

Where you're not in a position to casually mention over the water cooler/photocopier that she shouldn't have done that, you can only really drop the office a phone call or letter and express your concern. Hopefully it would be treated as an opportunity to remind everyone in the office to keep confidentiality in mind.

LesbianMummy1 · 17/03/2009 22:00

If it was me I would speak to the head at the school and mention concerns and let them deal with it

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:01

Chester, so, now I know someone is being taken into care, I know who it is and I am a right nosey cow. What on earth is to stop me having a good old butchers at what is going on when the poor child gets taken off, moved to a different room or whatever. I am pretty sure that a crowd of gawking onlookers is not going to ease a childs distress is it?

As for wanting to cause trouble - Why on earth would I be thinking about it and posting on here for opinions rather than just ringing up SS and the local rag if that was my intention?

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staggerlee · 17/03/2009 22:02

Not really sure how 'it may be a sad statement about the state of things in SS'-thats a bit of a mental leap.

Sounds like she assumed you were a member of staff. Personally I think I would have said immediately that I didn't work there and identified myself as a parent. That said she did make a mistake that could have had consequences for the child. On that basis you should do what you think is right.

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:04

If I do do something my intention, at most, is to call ss and explain what happened and say that I was a little concerned about it but that I did not want to make a complaint about it.

I don't want blood over this, my idea was to have the person involved told to be more careful in the future - nothing more!

OP posts:
LesbianMummy1 · 17/03/2009 22:04

also head will know more details so would be better able to make judgement on distress etc this could cause

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:05

Stagger, please read what Ihave already said, it is NOT possible she thought I was a member of staff.

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hobbgoblin · 17/03/2009 22:06

And I do also think that it is only the detail that needs to remain utterly confidential. We all do things and have things happen to us as individuals that, whilst personal, are nevertheless public. Or do you wear a wig and false moustache when going to the GP, your ray bans when visiting the gynae department, and give your DC paper bags to put over their heads when it's their turn to see the SENCO?

It is part of this child's life unfortunately and I happen to think that being totally cloak and dagger about it not only ups the stigma but also hides away a problem and makes him/her more cut off from the support of the community.

ChesterTown · 17/03/2009 22:08

KingCanute - your further posts add relevant information which would have been useful to know. It does sound like the SW was careless.
Unfortunately, it does happen. Your post feels bit like a Daily mail sw-bashing one though, which sw's have to deal with enough already.
I am still a bit confused as to the whole scenario. Were you inside the small office or by the glass window? What did the office staff say to her once she told them why she was there?

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:09

I do agree to a certain extent Hobb, however, I would say it is up to the child and its parents to decide if they want other parents in the school to know that they have been "taken into care" for any reason.

I would have thought that the childs name is included in the things that need to be kept confidential. (I am pretty sure it is but not certain)

OP posts:
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 17/03/2009 22:10

Hobbgoblin has an interesting point but the decision to relesae that information, surely, needs to sit with the parents or the child. Not a random woman on the corridor.

Canute, I think you should call SS in the manner you suggest. But you're going to get flamed here for "stamp or stum". I know you might not want to come down on her like a ton of bricks, but people here will interpret that as fighting talk. Get the old hard hat on for this thread, I think.

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:14

Ok, the layout is that there is a school office which opens into the school. The school has keypads etc on the doors so you can't get in. The have built a kind of porch room with a glass window into the office so that parents/visitors can speak to the staff without having to be buzzed into the school building itself. (Another reason she would know I wasn't staff - if I was I would have just gone into the school!)

Once she had said who she was she was ushered through the main (locked) door.

I have no intention to bash SW, I have had plenty of contact with them and I am well aware of the things they have to do, knowing that does not mean that I have to accept their mistakes lying down though. I am a bit unsure where you have got your DM feel from TBH.

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Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:17

Lol, possibly Mary, I was just after a touch of levity to keep the thread light but I am sure that was a foolish idea seeing as I posted in AIBU

Chester, sorry I did not include everything you needed, I thought it was clear from my initial post - clearly I was wrong so I added other information as the need became clear.

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hobbgoblin · 17/03/2009 22:17

True MMC. By the way Canute, my rhetorical questions in the above post weren't aimed specifically at you I should have used 'does one' not ' do you'.

I guess it is the release of the info, but if you extrapolate a wee bit, then we'd have admin speaking in code in all manner of day to day situations wouldn't we?

"Mr Janicowicz (real name Jones) could you bring the brown parcel to Mr Smith's [Dr Sigmoid] room please so we can unwrap it [examine your faecal sample] please"

staggerlee · 17/03/2009 22:18

Sorry king, thought I had read your posts and theres nothing there to suggest you identified yourself only that you were dressed in jogging gear. I really think its unlikely that she disclosed confidential information in front of you if she knew you were a parent.If she did then frankly you should report her as she hasn't a clue.

I'm afraid I stand by my mistaken identity theory. Mind you I am a social worker and we are a defensive breed.

nanninurse · 17/03/2009 22:21

ffs, god, can anyone do right for doing wrong?
Yabu, give her a break.

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:21

Stagger, there is simply no way that she could think I was a member of staff. You can be as defensive as you like but that does not actually HELP in any way.

I need advice on what DID happen not what you would like to THINK happened. Simply, you can either argue the toss about things that you cannot prove either way or you can offer helpful advice based on the information you are given.

Use a disclaimer if you like

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Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:22

lol thanks Nanninurse, glad you stopped by to help out!

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Yurtgirl · 17/03/2009 22:23

I would stamp and shout - in a helpful sort of way

She should have kept that sort of information confidential - even if she thought you were a member of staff surely that sort of information wasnt for you to hear!

YANBU

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 17/03/2009 22:24

Staggerlee, sadly you see, I can understand why you're defensive. There's nowt people like more than a bit of SW bashing these days is there. One of the most difficult jobs and people do like to think they can do better.

Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:24

Stagger, if you are a SW perhaps you could answer the query that has come up here? Would the childs name form part of the information that should be kept confidential?

OP posts:
Original poster
KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 22:27

Mary, are you trying to imply that is me? If so you are SORELY mistaken, if you look around at my posts you will find I am actually a bit of a champion of Social Services when they get slammed on here! (mind you it won't help that I namechange all the time so you probably won't believe me but hey ho!)

OP posts:
staggerlee · 17/03/2009 22:29

Um I wasn't being entirely serious King and please no capitals for emphasis-I get your drift.

If she disclosed things to you when she knew you were not a member of staff then it is a clear breach of confidentiality. I would report it-hope that helps.

Grendle · 17/03/2009 22:32

It's unacceptable. As a social worker she absolutely should know better. It's exactly the same thing as patient confidentiality or any other job where discretion is required (eg people who work with personal financial information). Yes, she made a mistake and should not be hung and drawn for it, but she should have it drawn to her attention so that she can improve her practice.

Being under pressure and dealing with a potentially distressing case is no excuse for forgetting to be professional, especially from someone working in a field where child protection issues might come into play.

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