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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that sending a boy to mine on a sunday between 11 and 3pm....

71 replies

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 12:34

is unreasonable?

DS1 (yr 6) has a group of friends at school. He used to be friendly with this boy but is just on polite terms now. Anyway, boys parents are doing up a house for their older dd near to mine. Last week I was in the park with dss and we bumped into the boy on the way to ours. DS1 spent some time with him then he came home.

This week we were in the park again and he was there, it was actually before 11a.m. I ended up standing with ds2 as he watched a footy game and said to ds1 they could go to ours if they wanted. So he and the boy went and played on the computer, nintendo ds etc...

It got to 1.30 and I thought I'll have to feed the boys soon. They were out for tea with their dad so I didn't need to give them a big lunch. Anyway, I said to the boy what are you doing for lunch? He said he doesn't eat many meals will eat later I offered him some food but he said no. I fed the boys and a bit later said won't his parents wonder where he is? He said no they said come back at 3pm.

I'm just a bit shocked that they'd do this not just to him but to us? He's not even a close friend of ds1. I know he eats lots of crisps and sweets (he's related to my best friend)

I won't turn him away as he's a nice boy. Maybe I'm a food nazi or something but I like to think kids get fed regularly.

OP posts:

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:33

you're right controlfreaky I do come across like that. I suppose I could be all of the above? Or not?
Anyway was just wondering if I'm being unreasonable as it's not something I've come across before. I know not to be so shocked in future.

OP posts:

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:34

No Kew they knew where he was. I'll communicate better with them in future if this becomes regular although we're not always in on weekends.

OP posts:

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 16/03/2009 13:35

i still dont get what exactly it is you're "shocked" about though??

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:37

No and I'm not surprised you don't.

I'm off now as I got my answer.

OP posts:

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 16/03/2009 13:38

bye then!

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2009 13:58

at 10/11 sure he is old enough to decide if he is hungary, so as others said, maybe he had a late breakie

if he was hungary, then sure he would ask for a sandwich etc

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 16/03/2009 14:07

I want to know what he has in his lunchbox that the other children laugh at.
Just in case there is some lunchbox etiquette thing I have missed.

compo · 16/03/2009 14:09

if he is Hungary he's got bigger problems than what is in his lunchbox

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 16/03/2009 14:12

I cant imagine children laughing at a lunch box full of junk, they would be too busy trying to swap their munge bean slices for a kitkat and a packets of skips

ingles2 · 16/03/2009 14:18

I can just see it now VT
OP's ds... Look! xxx has got a sausage roll! he he he and a fruit shoot
ha ha he's not in with the in crowd or he'd have a falafel and hummus and pitta like me

SerendipitousHarlot · 16/03/2009 14:23

Hahahahahaa VinegarTits

Boco · 16/03/2009 14:25

Oh. I thought this thread was about sending a boy down a mine on a Sunday. Maybe spent too long reading the victorian mumsnet thread.

Stayingsunnygirl · 16/03/2009 14:32

I've been on the opposite end of this. Ds3 will ask if he can go and see if a friend wants to play, and will ask me what time to be home. I will give him a time, but have always added that if that doesn't suit his friend or particularly his friend's parents, then he has to come home when they say.

I wouldn't give him a home time that would mean he'd be at the friend's house over a meal time, though - to the best of my ability. He also knows, if he goes to a friend's house after school, that I will be expecting to feed him when he gets home, and I'd do my best not to end up with him hanging around whilst the friend's family are having their tea, as I'd hate to give offence by doing this - but it probably has happened, and I'm not sure what more I could do to avoid it.

And with regard to the whole 'laughing at lunchbox contents' thing - ds3 certainly wouldn't laugh at someone for having junk/chocolate/treats in their lunchbox - he'd be jealous! He told me off last week because I very rarely buy biscuits/crisps/chocolate bars (mainly for my benefit, because if they are there, I'll eat them, but also for ds2's benefit too - he has a bit of an issue with his weight and I don't want him to end up like me). Ds3 tells me that all his friends' mums buy chocolate and crisps etc that's freely available to them, and I'm the only cruel mum that doesn't!

That sounds smug - it's not meant to - it's more despairing, as he's made me feel like a bad mum for not getting him any treats, and I don't know what to do with him (other than cut off his pocket money) because he's buying himself lots of chocolate/biscuits etc and eating them in his room. He and his friends seem to take it in turn to treat the group - and on one hand I think this is very nice and encourages generosity, but on the other, I'd rather he ate a bit less rubbish (not none, I am realistic).

I'm going to stop rambling now - you've probably all stopped reading long ago - so sorry for going on like this - am feeling rather down today, tired, achy and not coping.

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 14:51

Eeek this is still going?

No DS1 doesn't laugh at him God forbid I'd go mad if he did. Plus if I hear his friend's talk like this in front of me I tell them off. Like I said he doesn't sit or play with him at school but may do now?

Sorry you're having a bad day Stayingsunnygirl, what's up?

OP posts:

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 16/03/2009 14:59

No one said your ds laughs at him, but you told me the other dc laugh at his lunch box?

'No vinegar my friend doesn't tell me about his lunch box the kids laugh about it'

so come on then , tell us whats in it that is laughable?

squeaver · 16/03/2009 15:07

Boco - was just about to post exactly the same thing!

I was going to suggest sending him up a chimney instead.

cat64 · 16/03/2009 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Stayingsunnygirl · 16/03/2009 16:34

JumpingDizzy - sorry that I hijacked your thread like that. Nothing dreadful's happening - just lots of little things that I let get on top of me - we've had some building work done and a whole lot of stuff out of storeage, and now the house is a tip - and I just don't seem to be able to make a start.

TBH, I think I'm going to give myself today off, take things a bit easy and try to drag myself away from mumsnet and the pc for an early night , then I hope I'll be able to make a start on some of it tomorrow.

Thanks for your concern, and again, sorry for the hijack.

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 16:45

It's ok Stayingsunnygirl have a good rest and hope you're ok soon

cat64 yes hadn't thought maybe they did get up late, he did say he doesn't have bedtime. Needn't think he's giving ds's ideas

Vinegar the day that sticks in my mind was chocolate based, chocolate mousse, cake etc... no sandwich or fruit. I told them not to talk about him so didn't hear anymore after that. Mind you a friend of mine lived on cake for 3 years apparently and she's ok.

OP posts:

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 16/03/2009 21:17

Oh so it was just one day that he had junk then? maybe it was his birthday and he got cake as a treat, and fwiw boys this age have vivid imaginations, so dont beleive everything he tells you about lunches and bedtimes, he may just be saying these things to show off in front of your ds, stop listening to your friends gossip and stop being judgemental about his homelife when you dont know all the facts

katiestar · 16/03/2009 22:02

So how were his parents supposed to talk to you about his lunch arrangements when they hadn't got your phone number and presumably when you left with him ,didn't realise he was going to stay there til 3pm.
if you were so worried why didn't you send him back to his sisters house wjhere his DPs were working.

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