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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that sending a boy to mine on a sunday between 11 and 3pm....

71 replies

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 12:34

is unreasonable?

DS1 (yr 6) has a group of friends at school. He used to be friendly with this boy but is just on polite terms now. Anyway, boys parents are doing up a house for their older dd near to mine. Last week I was in the park with dss and we bumped into the boy on the way to ours. DS1 spent some time with him then he came home.

This week we were in the park again and he was there, it was actually before 11a.m. I ended up standing with ds2 as he watched a footy game and said to ds1 they could go to ours if they wanted. So he and the boy went and played on the computer, nintendo ds etc...

It got to 1.30 and I thought I'll have to feed the boys soon. They were out for tea with their dad so I didn't need to give them a big lunch. Anyway, I said to the boy what are you doing for lunch? He said he doesn't eat many meals will eat later I offered him some food but he said no. I fed the boys and a bit later said won't his parents wonder where he is? He said no they said come back at 3pm.

I'm just a bit shocked that they'd do this not just to him but to us? He's not even a close friend of ds1. I know he eats lots of crisps and sweets (he's related to my best friend)

I won't turn him away as he's a nice boy. Maybe I'm a food nazi or something but I like to think kids get fed regularly.

OP posts:

ingles2 · 16/03/2009 13:12

it's pretty unlikely they said don't come back here till 3...
more, be back here by 3.

morningsun · 16/03/2009 13:13

a lot of children don't eat in others houses,its probably trying to be no bother and sayingI don't eat many meals is also normal ime,he's just being polite.

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:13

vinegar he's related to my best friend so I know his diet plus what he has in his lunch box at school.

OP posts:

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 16/03/2009 13:14

I think you just came here to show off about your militant menu planning and healthy eating

You dont know the full story of what his parents feed him, they may offer him healthy meals but he prefers to eat crap, children are strange creatures sometimes, you cant just go on assumptions

You sound very smug and im outta here

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:14

No it is a first as I usually invite kids after school or for a sleep over and at weekends we go out a lot. Must be the norm then?

OP posts:

morningsun · 16/03/2009 13:15

sounds a bit like you're being a bit superior re the boys parents

nametaken · 16/03/2009 13:16

x-posts sorry.

Yeah, I get annoyed at similar parents. FFS how hard is it to do the basics. Feed your kid. Send them to school on time. It's hardly rocket science.

If he's fed crap at home you can show him a good example. One (kind of) friend of mine has never cooked her kids a dinner . They love coming to my house and joining in family meals. I like to think they'll model themselves on my family, that we're a good influence.

And if that sounds smug. Fuck yeah, it's meant to be. I am a good example.

unavailable · 16/03/2009 13:18

Jumping, I suggest you stop digging now. Your "concern" for the child is slipping and your smugness increases in every reply.

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 16/03/2009 13:18

Why would you be interested in what he has in his lunch box? hes not your child, and does your best friend give you a print off of their daily menu?

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:19

no ms you're right I am being superior I can see that. I suppose I know too much about this boy and his parents and the fact he never sees them there's more to it than this. He is a nice boy but not very popular at school. DS1 gets on with most so didn't mind him coming over.

OP posts:

SerendipitousHarlot · 16/03/2009 13:20

Blimey, you do know that kids can survive on th odd bit of crap food, right?

You're coming across as very supercilious about how other people feed their children.

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:21

No vinegar my friend doesn't tell me about his lunch box the kids laugh about it. Not ds1 though he has school meals anyway and like I said isn't really friend's with this boy. I just find it sad but obviously I'm in the minority which is ok.

OP posts:

nametaken · 16/03/2009 13:21

But the boys parents didn't feed him, I think that's the point.

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:22

I am very supercilious and am on to email Jamie Oliver after this post

OP posts:

morningsun · 16/03/2009 13:23

well if your ds and he do get along then invite him over but be careful to make it for 2hrs morning or afternoon,and if youare worried,phone his parents to pick him up/ let them know he is on his way home, then you have communicated.

nametaken · 16/03/2009 13:23

Did you call social services yet? - Sounds like he might have fruitshoots in his lunchbox.

SerendipitousHarlot · 16/03/2009 13:24

Make sure you ring Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall as well to tell him about cheap chicken!

morningsun · 16/03/2009 13:25

maybe he just doesn't like blueberry and pinenut salad?

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:25

yes ms I will get their number like I said earlier. I suppose this is quite new to me as with us living far from ds's friends it's usually after school/sleepovers etc...
I did ask him if he had his parent's number but he didn't. I'll get it for the future though.

OP posts:

Original poster

JumpingDizzy · 16/03/2009 13:26

Only if it's a new monster munch flavour

OP posts:

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 16/03/2009 13:28

No, i said does your friend send you a print off of his parents daily menu, you seem to know an awful lot about what he eats at home

And what exactly is in his lunch box that makes other kids laugh? maybe he has strange things like tofu and organic seaweed, most kids would laugh at that

Anyway its none of your business what he eats and not your responsibility to feed him, if you dont like it dont invite him to your house

morningsun · 16/03/2009 13:29

only teasing jumping
it can be a bit unnerving if children are with you for the day and then they zoom off on their bike in the dark or similar,and you're wondering if they're ok and if they're parents allow it,as well.

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 16/03/2009 13:30

not sure what you expect to get from your thread op......

ooooh are some parents awful?

ooooh aren't i a good parent?

i am someone who is better than a lot of people?

arent i nice having this not v popular boy round for a bit?

.....??

Kewcumber · 16/03/2009 13:30

supercilious or not I would also be surprised if a child of 10 arrived at 11am and left at 3pm without his parents checking with me that I was OK to give him lunch.

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 16/03/2009 13:33

i dont think his parents knew where he was kew... op took him home from the park with her without speaking to parents... (i think).

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