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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with DP

36 replies

Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:07

I have worked all weekend, came home yesterday and had to cook and clean, and again today, DP has gone to bed as there is nothing to do!!! I have unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded it started dinner, put on washing, bathed DS2, I still have the packed lunches to make and tidy up the mess he has made while I was out.

I was sorting the washing out in the bedroom and chatting away to him about something in the news and he said, "if you knew anything about it I would talk to you but you might as well go talk to the wall as it will listen"

I am sick to death of him thinking he is so much smarted and better educated then I am.
At least I live in the real world and am not so brain washed by the bleeding heart mob.
Sometimes I really miss talking to him as we used to talk about everything but others I am so past caring that in matters not any more if he talks to me of not.

Rant over

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 15/03/2009 19:08

YANBU. He sounds like he is taking you completely for granted and needs a wake up call of some sort.

AnyFucker · 15/03/2009 19:09

he sounds like a selfish person

why are you doing the cooking and cleaning when you have been working all weekend?

is that kind of thing beneath him ?

JohnnyTwoHats · 15/03/2009 19:09

how rude. I put up with this kind of talk from my exdp (who was not actually any more intelligent than me)for far too long.

Niftyblue · 15/03/2009 19:11

Think you have every right to pissed of with DP
You seriously need to tell him what a partonising git he is being
You are not there to pick up clean up after him

piscesmoon · 15/03/2009 19:11

Don't let him put you down like that. Insist that he sits down and you talk about it. Make it perfectly clear that you are not taking it.

nickytwotimes · 15/03/2009 19:11

Kimi, that is not on!
Grumpy and lazy? Not nice.

Is he normally okay?

Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:15

Well I don't work as a rule but was offered two days work and needed the money.
DP works full time so I do the cooking, cleaning,shopping, school runs and so on and so on and on and on.

I am just fed up with being treated like a stupid child, yes he has a good job, yes he is good at what he does, yes his whole family have letters after their names and can be found on google, but FFS can someone think something different then him and still have a valid opinion?

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 15/03/2009 19:20

If you let it go he will carry on doing it-don't let it go by.

Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:22

And he moans that my kids do not pik up behind them self but I am having to dance round an 8 foot by 4 foot bit on MDF on the kitchen floor that he has painted today and left to dry....(he is making a race track) we can not use the dinner table as it is under a pile of tools...AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:23

I do not have the energy for a row TBH

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 15/03/2009 19:25

I wouldn't have a row-just tell him plainly and calmly that you are not putting up with it.

Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:27

That would be the start of the row....

OP posts:
pinkyp · 15/03/2009 19:29

yanu - leave the house work - tell him you've been busy catching up with current affairs

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 15/03/2009 19:33

He sounds like an idiot. I'm sorry you're having to put up with him.

piscesmoon · 15/03/2009 19:37

If he says that it is like talking to the wall I would stop doing all the washing etc-wait until he notices and tell him that 'walls' don't think, give opinions or do the housework.

Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:37

Well DS2 has just hoovered for me and DS1 is making the drinks for the lunches.
I was going to do toad in the hole with baked spuds but its sausage and chips and be done with it.

Ok he is smarted than me in some respects but I do think sometimes he has a soft and fluffy out look of the world.

OP posts:
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 15/03/2009 19:39

I don't care if he's Albert Einstein. He shouldn't be speaking to you in that way.

Do you ever get to go out together, just the two of you?

AnyFucker · 15/03/2009 19:40

soft and fluffy to others?

but not to you? the one he loves? the mother of his dc?

wtf is that all about?

Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:44

They are not his DCs they are mine.

He has a one view of anything no room for other views, it is so tiring sometimes, if he thinks my view is so wrong then surly talking to explain his view would be a good thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kimi · 15/03/2009 19:46

We do get time together yes, we used to talk all night, and go to places and all sorts of stuff, now most nights he comes home, eats and goes to bed to watch TV. We do not do much as a family and that hurts a lot.

OP posts:
SerendipitousHarlot · 15/03/2009 19:49

He's being how he's allowed to be. You need to sort it out, or it won't change. I had one of those and it's vile. You have to draw a line or he'll just carry on doing it.

piscesmoon · 15/03/2009 19:51

Don't let him do it to you Kimi-it will only get worse and you will be an unpaid housekeeper with sex thrown in. You should be the person that he loves and respects most in the world.They may not be his DCs but he should be very honoured that you are allowing him to be part of your family. Education doesn't mean that his views are any more valid than yours. Don't have a row, wait until you are both calm and tell him straight. If he won't listen suggest Relate.

noonki · 15/03/2009 20:03

What is worrying is that you seem to think that you are less intellegent than him?

Do you think this is because of the way he acts to you, because if he si constantly belittling you that's not something to live with for you or your kids.

AnyFucker · 15/03/2009 21:09

I don't get this "they are not his dc, they are mine"

If you are a partnership, you are raising those children together, and it will do them harm to model their own future relationships on what they see at home

perhaps he is a cocklodger then

he wants the security of a family, a woman to look after his every need (as long as she knows her place) and an ego-boost to boot every time he puts you down

StercusAccidit · 15/03/2009 21:18

I LOVE anyfuckers use of the word cocklodger

She is always right about this lol that is definate in my case..listen to her n get rid

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