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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to let my 7 year old and 4 year old go to france for the weekend with uncle

36 replies

lovelycupoftea · 13/03/2009 11:13

my brother wants my children to go to france for long weekend with him and his son. i have said no as i hate the idea of them flying without me and would just worry constantly while they were away. i know its only france but i still couldnt get quickly there if i needed to. my brother says i am neurotic and its not fair on the children (who may or may not want to go but i dont feel at this age that it is for them to decide). i hate that he has made me feel like they are missing out because of me.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 13/03/2009 11:14

I think they are still quite young to be away so yanbu. You know your own children.

ForeverOptimistic · 13/03/2009 11:14

YABU. You know your own children and if you don't think they are ready he should respect that. How about arranging another weekend where you can all get away together?

ForeverOptimistic · 13/03/2009 11:14

I meant YANBU!

PlumBumMum · 13/03/2009 11:15

My dcs are 8 & 5 and there is no way I would let them fly for the weekend anywhere without me

My 8 yearold is a home bird anyway, and 4 just seems to young to me

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 13/03/2009 11:16

if they wanted to go and had a close relationship with uncle and aunty I would jump at the chance. Have they stayed with their cousin before? if it was a first time away I might think that going abroad was a bit much in case they did get really homesick. You know best, if you don't want to do it then don't, there's a whole life-time of experience ahead of them so missing out on one weekend isn't the end of the world.

cory · 13/03/2009 11:17

I think this is one of those cases where it really is about what you want. Some parents may love the idea, others may hate it- it really is for you and noone else to decide.

Original poster
lovelycupoftea · 13/03/2009 11:17

thats a good idea FO, ta

OP posts:
independiente · 13/03/2009 11:19

Of course they're not 'missing out'!
If you are worried about it, use an occasion when they can go somewhere closer to allow you to get used to them doing things without you. Anyway, it's not like they are teenagers.
And yes, it's not for them to decide at their age - that's your job.
YANBU.

Original poster
lovelycupoftea · 13/03/2009 11:20

they do see their cousin a lot but its always at grandparents house, they have never just stayed with brother and cousin.
thanks to all for your responses, im not feeling so crappy now!

OP posts:
VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 13/03/2009 11:21

I think they are too young to travel out of the country without a parent being there, plus he will be the only adult responsible for 3 young child, it would be a bit of a taks to keep an eye on them all and enjoy yourself at the same time

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 13/03/2009 11:22

task

Original poster
lovelycupoftea · 13/03/2009 11:24

thats part of the problem too vinegartits, i did suggest this but he just says dont i trust him etc etc, but i have seen him with his own son and although he great with him he doesnt watch him like i do mine

OP posts:
Hawkmoth · 13/03/2009 11:32

Anyone who would call you 'neurotic' when they don't get their own way is a bit

Beantin · 13/03/2009 11:43

Sounds like a great opportunity for your children. What are you worried about? Surely their uncle will care for them as his own?

I travelled to France at age 6 by plane as a UM to visit my father for a few weeks. Was all fine and was not seen as that strange back in those days.

I do wonder that people are more worried these days, but not sure of what. Guess will learn as am new parent myself now, but I hope that if one of my many siblings who wanted to take DS for a weekend at that age I'd be grateful and enjoy a free weekend. There are mobiles and everything these days so keep in touch as much as like.

Think about it some more.

KerryMumbles · 13/03/2009 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EyeballsintheSky · 13/03/2009 11:56

Depends on yours and their relationship with your brother. I would trust my brother with DD no problem but she's only little still so he wouldn't have her yet!

BonsoirAnna · 13/03/2009 11:57

It really is up to you - I don't think it matters in the slightest either way for anyone concerned and they are your children. Do what your gut feeling says is best for your family.

Marne · 13/03/2009 11:58

Couldn't you go with them ?

NewTeacher · 13/03/2009 11:59

Its your decsion at the end of the day.

I would let mine go as I know my brother would look after them.

My kids are 3 and 5 and my son ALWAYS wants to go for sleepovers he's only done it twice but has now got the bug!

OrmIrian · 13/03/2009 12:00

I wouldn't be happy with that. And I think that at 4 yrs of age I wouldn't fight my instincts too hard. But only know your DC.

katiestar · 13/03/2009 13:01

Is your DB going to be flying with them or will they be flying as UMs ?

solowitch · 13/03/2009 13:06

Absolutely not!

kslatts · 13/03/2009 13:12

I would let my dd's go away at that age with a very close relative, but if you are not comfortable about it then YANBU saying no.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 13/03/2009 13:14

How old is your nephew?

I would be worried particularly about my four year old if your nephew is older. Imho, 4yr olds need more/different supervision than an older child.

At the end of the day, they are your children and if you would feel uncomfortable about it, then YANBU.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 13/03/2009 13:16

What I meant to say was that I would be worried that someone with an older child may forget that a 4yr old needs a closer eye kept on them.