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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to let my 7 year old and 4 year old go to france for the weekend with uncle

36 replies

lovelycupoftea · 13/03/2009 11:13

my brother wants my children to go to france for long weekend with him and his son. i have said no as i hate the idea of them flying without me and would just worry constantly while they were away. i know its only france but i still couldnt get quickly there if i needed to. my brother says i am neurotic and its not fair on the children (who may or may not want to go but i dont feel at this age that it is for them to decide). i hate that he has made me feel like they are missing out because of me.

OP posts:
messymissy · 13/03/2009 13:26

Why don't you go too?

Your brother is not being very supportive of you if he is pressurising you in to letting them go - and calling you neurotic. How dare he?!!! Its up to you not him. On the basis of how he has presented it to you, I would say thanks but no thanks!

lalalonglegs · 13/03/2009 13:29

I must be really odd because I think it is a lovely offer and I would definitely say yes if my brother suggested it. I just don't understand the problem: they will have a fantastic time; you will have a break. Win-win.

5Foot5 · 13/03/2009 13:33

My dd stayed with close family (grandparents)at these ages but only in their house. I would not have been comfortable about anyone but us taking her a long way away.

YANBU

Also I agree with messymissy about your brother's attitude. Frankly this alone would put me off letting my kids spend any time with him if I thought he was likely to undermine me as a parent in this way.

cutekids · 13/03/2009 13:37

YANBU...they are your children and you know them better than anyone.it's your decision.no one elses.there'll be plenty of time to do this when they're older.i would just say you don't feel comfortable about it.full stop!I hate it when i feel bullied by other people about decisions i make for my own kids.you make the decision.

piscesmoon · 13/03/2009 13:41

There is no need to feel pressurised into something that you don't want to do. I wouldn't be keen on him having 3 young children to look after-much better for him to have quality time with his own DC.

mosschops30 · 13/03/2009 13:45

I think it depends on how you feel about it and who it is.

For example I would barely leave ds and dd with their uncle for a day.
However i would let them go away for a week with my best friend and her husband

Danceaway · 13/03/2009 13:45

Agree YANBU!!!!! What a thing for your brother to ask! Of course they are both IMO too young to go abroad without you, even if it is with yr bro. You could always show him this thread if he carries on about it!
Maybe he thinks he would be doing you a favour - giving you a break??

muffle · 13/03/2009 13:46

YANBU - I wouldn't agree to this - and if it doesn't feel right you don't have to do it. The fact that he makes you feel uncomfortable about saying no, moans that you don't trust him etc would just confirm my decision. Here is a man who doesn't respect your feelings so why would you trust him with your kids? The flying would be too much for me as well.

toddlerama · 13/03/2009 14:45

YANBU. If he had just said 'oh ok then' you might feel a bit sheepish, but some one really pushing the issue just confirms that he doesn't respect you enough to accept 'no'. Will he just want to do everything as it suits him when they are away too?

Hell to the no.

wabbit · 13/03/2009 14:59

YABU - he can take my two instead

katiestar · 14/03/2009 10:13

I would jump at the opportunity as long as my DC felt happy about it

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