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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So whats an ideal age to let your children out alone?

50 replies

whoingodsnameami · 12/03/2009 16:01

DS is 8, and I am nowhere near ready to let him out alone, even though by that age I had already had a few years experience of being out playing alone.

OP posts:
sarah76 · 12/03/2009 16:05

I used to walk my labrador mix puppy around the block when I was five. Then I didn't come home one day. Dad came out looking for me and found me tied to a 'No Parking' sign (dog went one way, I went the other, I lost).

So not five.

When you say 'out', how far are you thinking of him going? Your garden? Your street? Down to the shop?

Original poster
whoingodsnameami · 12/03/2009 16:12

Am not thinking of letting him out yet, but when I start it will obviously just be in the street, well not the whole street as its the size of an estate, I take him out often on his bike, and there is a row of 5 bungalows with a path that goes all around them, so I let him go round on his bike, but find myself panicking as soon as he is out of sight, it only takes him 30 seconds to cycle round the block, and I find myself counting, I need to chill a bit dont I?

However ds has AS, so the world is a bit more daunting to him than is generally is for a typical child, well thats my defence for being too clingy anyway

OP posts:
Fairynufff · 12/03/2009 16:14

My lad is nearly 9 and a big rugby playing boy he is. I won't let him out of my sight! I was playing out until it was nearly dark when I was his age but it is a different world now.

Morloth · 12/03/2009 16:20

So many variables, I am not sure there is any one age for me. Will depend on where we live, what the boy is like as he gets older etc. I think about 8 sounds OK to me, but variables variables...

MABS · 12/03/2009 16:40

not a chance in hell for me with ds at age 8

mrsdisorganised · 12/03/2009 16:46

I live in the country, very quiet, but have only just started letting dd1, 8 go out on her own, with a watch and a time limit!

Sorrento · 12/03/2009 16:49

For the eldest child, the year before senior school, for the subsequent children about 9.5/10 years locally I would say.

cocolepew · 12/03/2009 16:52

I live in a cul de sac, and my DDs have been playing out since they started school. I think it all depends on where you live and whether they have other children to play with. As well as how sensible your children are

sarah293 · 12/03/2009 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JodieO · 12/03/2009 17:00

I was just about to post asking this question.

mayorquimby · 12/03/2009 17:03

"but it is a different world now. "

is it really though?

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/03/2009 17:05

i was out playing on streets/with friends at 7/8

but it was a very different world 25years ago

it does depend on where you live/can you see them from window/with friends/if sensible etc

you do have to allow children to grow up and have their independence but to me playing outside/unwatched in a street is a no no till prob at least 10+

as by then they will be in last year of school and have to make the changes for the following year - they will prob be walking to school alone etc

Morloth · 12/03/2009 17:05

I don't think the world (or people) have changed that much - with the exception of increased traffic.

We just hear about stuff more often.

sarah293 · 12/03/2009 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RockinSockBunnies · 12/03/2009 17:09

I really don't think that the world is so different now, merely that people's perceptions of it have changed, predominantly due to the media.

Child abduction etc remains very rare. It's just that we hear all the details in a sensationalised manner nowadays .

We live in London near a busy road with no neighbours, so there's not really anywhere that DD (almost 8) could go 'out' to. But when we visit family or go to our house in France, I'm happy for her to have some time either out playing with her cousins etc, going to the shop, or, when in the French countryside, roaming the fields.

Dreamaway · 12/03/2009 17:14

All my DC's have been able to play out from the age of 4. We live in a quiet cul de sac and all the kids can be seen from the window.
I let may DD(6 next week) go to friend's houses in other streets(close by) alone as long as i know where she is. My DS's Are 10 and 12 i let them go further afield as long as they do not leave the estate. They Are all pretty streetwise and independant.

All the kids round here are allowed to play out unsupervised. With the exeption of two Kids (10 and 7) who are only allowed out in the street when dad is able to stand out in the street and watch over them. Which i think is a shame sometimes.

But it is entirely a personal choice and whatever you feel comfortable with.

smudgethepuppydog · 12/03/2009 19:19

By mayorquimby on Thu 12-Mar-09 17:03:22
"but it is a different world now. "

is it really though?

Mainly from increased traffic and the traffic that there is now is faster. Once upon a time you could kick a bal on the streets without seeing a car now even in residental areas cars are commonplace.

The risks from 'stranger danger' have barely changed over the last 50 or so years.

My children have played out from about the age of 5-6, but my judgements were based on my children and the area in which we live. If we'd lived in a different area my judgements may well have been different.

cory · 12/03/2009 19:23

For us, it's a different world in that dh grew up in London, which even then had faster and more traffic than our own quiet suburb does now.

I would be happy for ds (8) to play football in the park with his mates if he had any mates who were allowed to go. He doesn't so the extent of ds's adventures is to accompany big sister into town to look round the shopping arcades. (big sister can't do football due to disability)

When we are in Sweden in the holidays (small island, no real dangers apart from the sea) I let him roam on his own.

Hulababy · 12/03/2009 19:27

DD is nearly 7y but so far she has never played out alone, despite us living on a cul de sac. The cars whizz round the streets even though it is residential with lots of children around.

She will play with friends in the back garden without me being there but at present there has been no need to play out on the street.

I onky know of one child this age round here who goes out on his own - a little boy who is allowed to go round on his bike and to our park (back of estate backing onto fast, albeit quite quiet road) and lots of fields. I definitely wouldn't feel happy with DD having that level of freedom just yet.

PuppyMonkey · 12/03/2009 19:28

DD1 is 12 and I still don't.

christywhisty · 12/03/2009 19:32

We live in a little culdesac and all the children play out from about 4, which mine did.

Let them walk around the corner to the shop (no roads to cross) about 8.

Most of the children at dcs primary start walking by themselves in yr5.
Yr6 they have started going swimming etc together.

Nemoandthefishes · 12/03/2009 19:41

Ds is 5 and I would let him play ona scooter outside the house if people didnt drive up our street so darn fast. I shut the gates and let the trio play on the path[5,3 and 2] tonight which is the first time I have done that and I was mostly out there but came in to check on dinner[front door open so could hear them and they couldnt open the gate]. I like to think that by 8/9yrs of age I could trust DS to walk to local shops[one main road with crossing]

wheeshtyergibberish · 12/03/2009 19:46

My girls have been allowed to play out with their friends from when they were about 6 or 7. We live in a quiet village and they know they must stay close to the house. I also ask them to pop back home at regular intervals, just for my own peace of mind. If they forget I am out there looking for them like a shot though! Hate that I can't relax and not worry about them being out sight like my mum was able to do with us.

Blottedcopybook · 12/03/2009 20:05

I live on a nice cul de sac in a commuter town, eldest DS has been going out to play since we moved here (he was five) and DS2 (just turned 3) has gone out occasionally as long as one of the older kids is about to keep an eye on him - and by occasionally, I mean whilst it was snowy and there was no traffic around. I am really not comfortable with him going out to play on his own yet because he's not savvy at all, but when I feel like he's clued up with road safety then he'll get out without me sitting on the doorstep.

IotasCat · 12/03/2009 20:13

football in the street outside the house - 6 and 8

out on bikes with a walkie talkie/mobile phone - 9 (7 yr old allowed out if he stays with his older bro)