worried in-laws and neighbours will take over with new baby

[pink76]

Due to give birth next week. This is scary enough but at the moment living with partners parents and worried that they will try and take over, how does a brand new mum say "back off" without offending them in their own home?

Could just be over-thinking!!! I moved here last august, (250 miles from friends and family) so I have only his family and neighbours nearby. Don't know if I'll have the strength to say anything.

My mum is coming down for the first few days when little one is here so this may help.

Any advice would be helpful.

Yes the talking through baby thing drives me nuts too. It is a passive way of trying to have sly digs at you but without actually saying it, pisses me right off. My Mum always does it. The difference for me is that it's my Mum doing it not my MIL and it is easier for me to tell her to piss off if she gets too much, I guess it's harder to do that with MIL.

I am FF and my MIL has made comments about me not BF which pissed me off royally. I just vent to DH and he sorts it out, I have threatened to say stuff myself but DH would be upset, he knows I can snap when people get on my nerves.

Having the support of your DH/partner in difficult situations is half the battle won.Although my DH agreed with my opinions mostly,like many men he's not the best at communication and thinks that the sun shines out of his mums (trying to polite today) bum.

Lulu, your MIL sounds like she needs a good slap! I can feel my blood boiling on your behalf! I don't think I'd have spent more than one night in the same house with her, you must have the patience of 10,000 saints not to rip her to bits!

Your putting my daft prob (that's probably in my head!) into perspective, thank your MIL for me!

Lol!

I'd have slapped her by now but she's 3 times my size - she could easily take me in a fight!

It helps that she lives so far away and that we only have a 2 bed house so they can't come and stay! Its great that they're giving you a whole floor - it sounds like they acknowledge that you'll need your own space. My MIL asked if they could buy a bedroom off us in our next house. Very odd and hard to price but I thought £1m was very reasonable!

She makes me love my mum even more!

I bet your MIL will surprise you, she sounds like she wants to do the right thing. Plus there will be times when you just want to soak in the bath or have a nap and having your inlaws so close by will be a godsend!

xx

Oh, I just had a thought about another technique I use on MIL when I want to avoid having a grown up, direct conversation about omething is discuss "a friend's baby".

She recently considered moving back up North so that I could go back to work full time and before the end of my mat leave (I wasn't asked if I wanted to work FT or go back early!). MIL was planned to bring DD up for me (her words). Horror! I told her how "a friend" had done this and her little boy now didn't mix well with other children and was having problems at school. I said DH and I had talked about how sad it was and that we were glad DD would be in nursery when I go back to work.

It was all off the top of my head, very cowardly and complete lies but I got my point across without having to insult her. She the went off on one about what my friends MIL was doing wrong.

Oh I've just read that and I feel awful. Its only something I do when I'm desperate!

My god! where abouts did this MIL come from? another planet? She sounds terrible!

At least if nothing else she makes you appreciate your own mum more!
Sometimes lies are the best way round things, sorry to say it but if it makes you and your dh's lives easier, possibly not the first time this technique has been used on your MIL if what you've said about her is anything to go by! Sometimes anything for a peaceful life!

What does your dh say about her behaviour or do you not say too much to him?