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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be in my 30s and still not have learnt how to budget effectively? How much should a family of four be able to live on?

44 replies

Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:29

It's been established on another thread that talking about money in real life is social suicide. I don't think mumsnet counts and am also prepared for a complete battering. So, here's the thing.

At the moment DP earns a really good salary. We live well within our means. I've recently started working for myself but income is really variable. But DP is thinking of leaving his job and retraining so we'll have little or no income for a while and even after that, far less than we've been used to. (He has my complete support btw.) We sat down last night and worked out our outgoings, which are unnecessarily high. There are some obvious things we can cut (we have a cleaner once a week) but what should I be aiming to cut down to? How much can a family of four in London reasonably live on? And how does it break down? (Our mortgage and council tax together is just over 900 a month.)

Tell me your stories...

OP posts:
Nabster · 10/03/2009 14:30

I am assuming you have a decent amount of savings if you are going to do this and then have little or no income?

oregonianabroad · 10/03/2009 14:32

I just like your thread title. No advice really as I live in another part of the country and am completely crap at finances.

I do hope it works out for you.

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:33

We have some savings but not enough to live on for any length of time - I'll also need to crank up my earnings somehow. Just need to work out by how much

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 10/03/2009 14:33

Cut Down on food......that's easily done. Takeaways too. Walk more,use car less.......do you have/need a car each?

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:34

cheers oregonian

OP posts:
sassy · 10/03/2009 14:34

Loads of threads on this. But housekeeping costs (food, school trip cash etc) could be cut very low - I reckon we spend about £80 p/wk on this for 4 and we could go lower. (More like £140p/wk 18 mo ago when we were much more affluent)

sassy · 10/03/2009 14:34

Loads of threads on this. But housekeeping costs (food, school trip cash etc) could be cut very low - I reckon we spend about £80 p/wk on this for 4 and we could go lower. (More like £140p/wk 18 mo ago when we were much more affluent)

nickytwotimes · 10/03/2009 14:35

We have a monthly outgoing list with EVERYTHING detailed. All the utilities, insurances, savings to be put away, etc. Then work out what you need for food and toileteries, clothing and transport. See if you have enough with a bit left over for contingency..job's a good 'un!

Have you checked for the best deals on your utilities and so on?

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:36

we only have one (12-year-old) car. We don't use it regularly. Tend to use tube mostly. was thinking the car might be one of the things to ditch but then hiring a car for long distance trips to relatives in the north is going to be pricey too...

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 10/03/2009 14:36

Oh and totally cut back on going out and kids going out. Take out your weekly cash and when it is gone, tough.

Lulumama · 10/03/2009 14:36

see about swapping things like home & car insurance . i have saved £100s over the last 2 years by shopping around online..

meal planning is a good way to reduce food bills, as is shopping at Aldi/Lidl

if your income is variable, and your Dh will have no income, adn then a reduced income, that is a lot to deal with, you need to get to grips with budgetting, and DH has to be totally on board too

i suppose you also need to look at things like childcare costs which are often cripplingly high

laweaselmys · 10/03/2009 14:36

If you're in london if you have a car/cars you could probably get rid of those (depending if you'd need it for your job) and see if there are any kind of local discounts for rail/bus travel, season tickets that kind of thing.

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:39

sassy - out of interest, do you feel like your quality of life has been dramatically affected or do you now wonder what you were spending all that money on 10 mo ago?

nicky - cheers. So do you always budget for savings/contingency etc or just wing it sometimes.

I think utility deals are all pretty good, though I know the offers are allways being updated

OP posts:
sassy · 10/03/2009 14:42

NOt dramatically affected, no. It is a bit joyless sometimes, always mealplanning; shopping at Lidl instead of sains, no nipping into Boots for shampoo and coming out having spent £20 on cosmetics...but it is OK and I can see the bigger picture. Most of the time.

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:45

don't need the car for work and neither does DH so that's beginning to look like a no-brainer.

Have done menu planning and shop online (at Tesco) for two-weeks food at a time. It's coming to just under 100 at the mo but then I end up getting extra groceries all the time so I'm obviously not doing it particularly efficiently.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 14:47

annoyingly don't have a lidl or aldi near here. And given that we're going to be selling the car that makes shopping there a bit tricky.

OP posts:
mondaymonday · 10/03/2009 14:53

Similar to sassy - I used to spend a lot but reduced this drastically when pg and on mat leave. It's not so painful really, but it does mean changing your habits. Things I did included

  • setting a monthly budget
  • getting cash out once a week
  • cancelling gym
  • cancelling health ins
  • meal planning
  • online food shopping so I knew exactly what I was spending and could keep to budget
  • changing gas/electricity providers
  • stop buying magazines, unnecessary cosmetics etc
  • shopping for toiletries/household goods at local cheap shops etc
kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 10/03/2009 14:57

Do you want me to be honest? I think your DH would be mad to give up a well paid job in the current economic climate. Especially with no other steady income and little savings. Could he wait a year or so until your business is more established? this would give you time to save more too.

Juwesm · 10/03/2009 15:02

Notintheknow - I'm just going through exactly the same process of trying to learn how to manage our money.
Re: the online shopping - it's difficult to do it all online and not do top ups. Try for doing all the non-perishable cupboard stuff/ freezer stuff online every 2 weeks or so, but then do more local, regular shops for fresh stuff once or twice weekly. Do you have easy access to local greengrocer/ butcher/ baker?

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 15:10

kidcreole - you have got a point but it seems a bit unfair for me to tell him to stick with a job he's unhappy in while I am working from home part-time and 'following my dream' (though partly it was a decision made for the benefit of the family, wanted to try and spend as much time with DD as poss without my career completely going down the pan). It's only thanks to his job that I'm in the position to be able to work freelance.

cheers Monday. I think the cash point is crucial. what about budgeting for b'day presents/cards and wedding presents (we're going to 4 weddings this summer and it's costing a fortune).

Juwes - do you give yourself a limit for the amount you spend on the mid-week mini shops?

OP posts:
ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 10/03/2009 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 10/03/2009 15:15

Hi,

I've done huge girt big long posts about moneysaving before and have lost the will to type them out again.
If you do a search on me they might come up though.

Our situation is that dp and i are both high earners.
I will probably lose my job this yr (redundancy looming) and we desperately need a new kitchen. (we bought a repossession and the kitchen was wrecked by the previous owners).
So we are on a v tight budget to allow us to save 3 months worth of my salary plus kitchen money.
Food budget for each month is £180. There are 4 of us. 2 adults, 2 kids and one cat.

GO onto moneysavingexpert.com to download the budget planner. It's a fab tool.

oysterpots · 10/03/2009 15:18

This is really useful as it includes absolutely everything you might spend over the year, and then calculates whether you're living within your means or not and suggests ways you can cut costs.

Changed our lives. Now have about 6 bank accounts though - one for bills (just stays as is, we put in right amount each month and that comes out as direct debits), one for savings, one each as our current accounts where we have £250 each a month as pocket money (me and DH that is, not DC!), and a joint account from which we do one massive online shop per month, and take the rest out as cash for spending between those shops. Like other posters say, when it's gone it's gone.

Tough, but not impossible.

Original poster
Notintheknow · 10/03/2009 15:19

hedgewitch - that's a really good plan. I think we've already got the best package we can for phone/broadband/tv (same provider). Heating bill is huge but we've just had British Gas in to look at insulation and we'd have to pay for scaffolding if we wanted cavity wall insulation so they basically said it isn't worth it. Wear more jumpers I guess...

Any thoughts on the gifts/card budget anyone? And do you budget for xmas on a monthly basis?

OP posts:
steamedtreaclesponge · 10/03/2009 15:24

Are cards really that important? Why not make your own? I always give people home-made cards (get out the pritt-stik, lots of fun). Gifts a bit more difficult but I think budgeting a small amount every month for birthdays/xmas is probably the best way to go.

Have you had a look at www.moneysavingexpert.com? Lots of helpful stuff on there.