Potentially awkward situation with childminding friend - please help me work out if IABU?

[kettlechip]

One of my closest friends is a childminder and currently has a little boy for 2 full days (10 hrs) a week at £30 per session, plus ds for 3 hrs twice a week, for which we pay £15 each time - £5 per hour.

Things aren't working out with the little boy she looks after so I've offered her ds for 2 full days as I'd like to up my hours at work. We agreed the days and all was well until she mentioned that she'd like to raise her fees from the £30 per day she currently charges the little boy's parents to £40 per day for me, so that she wouldn't need to work any other days in the week. She'd have him for 7-8 hours per day. The going rate in our area is £25-30 per day.

This just isn't sitting well with me. DH earns well so in theory we could afford it, but it would wipe out my earnings before we start. WWYD? I feel so awkward talking about money, especially with a good friend and there is no way I would ever expect any discounts or preferential treatment but this feels to be going completely the opposite way.

good luck, sounds like the best course of action really. I hope you like her.

thankyou, I hope I like her too! The more I think about it, the more I feel it's the right thing to do.

I agree with the posters that said childminding and friends unfortunately don't mix. Am a bit worried about giving her notice now, will have to get on with that sooner rather than later if tomorrow works out!

good luck. i think you're doing the right thing. she's taking advantage.

At least you can tell your friend that it's an issue of geography and maintain the friendship. I know you would be perfectly within your rights to say it's the money and the exploitation (!) but in the interests of keeping the peace, a closer cm works really well!

Definitely friends & c/minders don't mix!!

My friend used to c/mind for me & it ended in tears!!

Not for the same reasons as you but more to the point that she thought she could say & do whatever she liked to me & I would let her off because of our friendship!!!

Good luck with the other minder tomorrow!

Saw the new CM today, she was really nice and enthusiastic so I've signed to start with her after I've given my friend 4 weeks notice, which I'll have to do this week.. not looking forward to that but I really don't have a choice - the price difference per week is £36 for just 2 sessions!

My friend gave me 30 mins notice that she couldn't take ds this morning (this has happened several times this year as her dc's seem to get one bug after another - not her fault, I know but she has no back up) so it's good timing for a change really. I do sometimes think it's lucky I work for an understanding firm or I would probably have been sacked long since.

well done you! Hope your ds settles well for your new CM.

glad you got it sorted with new cm

hope telling friend isnt too stressful!!

So what she is basically saying is she wants to work part-time hours at full time pay... and your the one footing the bill. I cant imagine any other employer going for this at all

And she is supposed to be a friend

Sorry didnt read the other posts re new childminder.. Hope it goes well for you, I had my next door neighbour childminding for me and it turned sour. She was paid the going rate but really started to take the piss and you do feel you cant say anything when its a friend

good luck the sooner you do it the better though as it would be awful for her to hear from someone else

My CM whacked up her hourly rate to earn pretty much the same daily rate when ds started at school as she had when he was at nursery. She also did me no favours in terms of hours or accommodating changes in the way she did willingly for other mindees. She also said the school run was problematic even though it was very close to her house. It took another friend to make me understand that she didn't actually want to mind ds any more but didn't want to tell me. She would have had an easy job and have been quids in if I'd agreed the 65% (!) hourly rate increase but fortunately I saw sense and made alternative (and significantly cheaper) arrangements which ds pr. I think part of her behaviour was because she thought she could (single parent, finding other CM could have been difficult) and partly because she thought I'd pay just to maintain the status quo for ds (who had beent there over 3 yrs).

which ds prefers.