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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to be yelled at by ignorant pig when i am out with my DD and DP and Ddog!

281 replies

LucyEllensmummy · 08/03/2009 13:51

We have just had a lovely walk along our beach - just the right weather, DD and DP on scooter and me there behind them (quite a long way).

Dog off the lead (small jr type) not bothering anyone with children (he used to do this and was kept on lead but doesn't bother now). Lots of other dogs off lead - loads, hundreds possibly, all happily meeting greeting and generally having fun. Its lovely to watch - my dog is a friendly little character.

So, my dog approaches some dogs on the lead - one of the dogs starts snarling (NOT mine!!) as is quite common with dogs on leads - my dog is a bit dim and thinks it a game so is bouncing around. The owner then starts bellowing at me to put my dog on the lead (by this time my dog had walked off anyway) that i was breaking the law by having him off lead on the beach. Which i know is not true as dogs are banned from that beach between may and september only. Its perfectly legal any other time. My dog wasn't bothering anyone else. Comes when called etc. So the guy gives it all "well we'll see about that" Gets his phone and calls who? The council, the police??? I just go and sit on the wall and say, call who you want, we'll wait!! WANKER!!!!!!! Its not my fault his dog is aggresive to other dogs and his wife goes into a panic. I think he might have an interesting walk today - thousands of dogs on the beach off the lead, with people with and without dogs/children enjoying watching them play.

I would have had my dog on the lead if he were a)bigger (i used to have rotties and only ever walked them off lead in the depths of winter as they are a bit intimidating. b) aggresive c)likely to approach children (i don't like this myself) or liable to be a pain and not come away from other dogs - he is none of these.

What a thoroughly unpleasant man!

Waits to be flammed, just ranting really - i know I ANBU

OP posts:
hmc · 09/03/2009 00:00

I agree dittany. Dog off lead should equal owner has heightened awareness regarding their dogs behaviour, and is able to reign them in. Was mortified when with a friend the other day, and her exuberant dog was jumping up at an old lady, while she rather ineffectually tried to call the dog back. Rather took things into my own hands (hollered aggressively and dog immediately ran back - to me)

TiggyR · 09/03/2009 00:01

CKelpie, I agree with you 100% but I think that non-dog owners think that in practise that means that dogs should be kept chained up like wild lions! Whilst we can never predict totally how they will react we do get to know them very very well, like we know our children, and just like our children they need to be properly socialised if they are to become happy well-mannered individuals. We learn to interpret their body language, to know their likes and dislikes, and to anticipate their triggers and foibles. Most of us would not be walking them in public places if we felt that they were a serious potential danger!

CKelpie · 09/03/2009 00:02

True...watching Animal Farm recently and thinking about Lord of the Flies brought home that we are only a very small step into civilised behaviour.

I use classical music in the car to combat bus road rage tendencies...perhaps I too need a leash...

emkana · 09/03/2009 00:02

(hmc, are you who I think you are?)

hmc · 09/03/2009 00:03

Quite so - we do get to know them. I know for instance that if there are pigs/ sheep or cattle grazing nearby that my dog will give chase, so I put her on a lead before she has the opportunity to do so.

hmc · 09/03/2009 00:05

Who do you think I am emkana? I am handlemecarefully if that's what you mean? Just using abbrieviated nomenclature!

hmc · 09/03/2009 00:06

(Oh and 'hello' btw )

TiggyR · 09/03/2009 00:07

Well we clearly need to handle you carefully if you are likely to stove our faces in at a moment's notice!

emkana · 09/03/2009 00:07

That's what I thought, hello, nice to see you.

sandcastles · 09/03/2009 00:07

hmc, I don't believe in a blanket ban either. But I do think that any off lead dog should be kept reasonably close to the owner at all times, so incidents like ours don't occur. She was that far off she didn't see what happened & had to run over to grab it. She accused dd because she had no idea what happened prior to it lurching at our dog.

She didn't call it as it pestered the toddler in the sea until toddlers mum started shoo-ing it with her foot, she called it but it ran off further up beach!

As I say our dog is off lead at the park, as I take him at a time when it is usually quiet & he is great with that, just too busy any time at local beach & don't want to risk him seeing small dogs, as he panics & bolts.

MollieO · 09/03/2009 00:10

There are quite a few places around us where you would think dogs can be let off leads but actually can't. A lot of dog owners either don't read the signs or ignore it. Means I choose where I walk as I walk my mum's tiny yorkie who would literally be another dog's dinner (she has been attacked before).

I don't know where you are but when I've looked at holidays with nearby beaches all the ones I looked at (Cornwall) required dogs to be kept on leads during the season when they are allowed on the beach. If your beach is different then no yanbu.

hmc · 09/03/2009 00:11

I shouldn't worry TiggyR - it generally takes a lot of provocation (incident in question was when dh and ds were crossing a busy London road earlier today - don't forget now that 'we is country bumpkins' so not familiar with urban ways ...anyway, ds (4) stumbled whilst holding dh's hand just as the lights changed. A few mentalist London drivers started revving their engines and beeping their horns aggressively as they were keen to pull off from standstill position...I satisified myself with a one finger salute...but fantasised for a good few minutes afterwards about various forms of bloody vengeance)

hmc · 09/03/2009 00:12

Good to see you emkana - did you ever get to DLP?

emkana · 09/03/2009 00:13

Yes, twice in fact, and already planning next visit.

hmc · 09/03/2009 00:15

Ah good. It is rather enjoyable and fun if you can suspend adult cynicism isn't it!

CKelpie · 09/03/2009 00:16

Tiggy of course not. And most dogs, 99% of the time are completely controllable and sociable.
My collie would, on sight of sheep go into slinky-shouldered, stalking mode. One word; 'here' and she would remember that she was actually a soppy, lickious lap dog and glue herself to my knee but it was in her to attack sheep. Some collies act on their instincts and end up being put down as they are useless once they have a 'taste' for chasing sheep.

I never would have questioned her obediance, but occasionally I put her on a lead to remove any chance and to put others at ease.

Along the same lines, my very solid and reliable pony once reared and tried to bolt when confronted by a person with a fear of horses. For just a couple of seconds I was out of control. It happens with animals when they pick up on things.

emkana · 09/03/2009 00:17

I loved it, and I want to go soon while my daughters, who are now nearly eight and nearly six, are still just about able to be fully stunned at seeing the princesses. It's slipping away fast.

I hope life is treating you well!

TiggyR · 09/03/2009 00:20

Ah, Sandcastles, it's all making sense now! I though you meant you keep him on a lead because he would attack a small dog. OK, so if he did you'd have your justification (of sorts) because of his history, but when I said owners keep their dogs on leads because they cannot be trusted with dog aggression, that's the kind of scenario I meant - not necessarily that it was a vicious or out of control poorly trained dog, just that it was nervy and likley to snap for whatever reason. The other thing I said was about 'lousy recall' which is of course loosely the same problem as having a dog that might bolt from fear and you would struggle to get him back. Being a collie he would obviously have good recall, but again, in certain circumstances he may still refuse to come back if he was spooked. My dogs rarely get walked near roads but I suppose if your dog does then having him run off in fear is not an option.

sandcastles · 09/03/2009 00:31

I am in Australia, so plenty of beaches here. Most of them are dog on lead only. Which is nice, but they are further away so don't often use. Also, buggy + beach = not good mix!

2 are dog off lead friendly, at certain times. Off lead activity has to be kept to certain times, but unfortunately not overyone adheres to the rules.

The poo problem on the off lead beaches is horrendous! I am sure the owners aren't paying full attention to their dogs so they foul & the owners don't see. Although I know this doesn't apply to all owners.

sandcastles · 09/03/2009 00:44

Tiggy, having him run off in fear anywhere would be difficult if I was on my own as I have dd2 (8mths) in a buggy, so I wouldn't be able to give chase & would have to rely on him coming my way..which is not predictable when spooked. And although he is normally the softest dog in the world, heaven only knows what he would do if spooked, so it isn't worth the risk. I would hate a child to get hurt/bowled over if in his path!

Prior to the 'attack' his off lead behaviour around any size dog was going really well. But he got spooked I think, at a vital time & we just cannot seem to undo it. Even trying to socialise him with SIL's small dog sends him into a frenzy, on or off lead! Even dog school didn't help in that repspect, anything smaller than him spooks him!

The park is great because if did get scared off lead it is enclosed & only so far he could get, and I can see him at all times. (It is a recreational park, btw not a children's play park)

midlandsmumof4 · 09/03/2009 01:16

We have 2 male rotties who are never walked off lead. They are very well behaved but they are big dogs and we understand that due to recent bad publicity people are wary of them. However, I'm shocked at the number of owners (usually of smaller dogs) who think it is perfectly fine to let their dogs off the lead and race around jumping & yapping at our dogs who are not expected to respond in any way shape or form cos then they are accused of living upto their reputation . No dog can be trusted 100% however well trained they are. So IMHO all dogs should be on leads in public areas including out of season beaches!!!!

bettany · 09/03/2009 03:07

YABU, all dogs should be on leads in public areas.

sarah293 · 09/03/2009 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cory · 09/03/2009 08:43

On the one hand, I do think it's lovely when dogs can be dogs and have a social life that dogs are supposed to have. I enjoy watching that.

On the other hand, I have an instant mistrust of any dog owner who says 'oh, my dog would come the moment I called him'.

Because that reminds me of the lady who told ds that 'the dog won't jump on you, you know' half a second before said dog jumped up and bit his leg. No doubt he had never done it before, no doubt she felt justified in her prediction.

I feel safer with dog owners who recognise that dogs can be unpredictable. I do like dogs though...

(it's a bit like parents who tell the teacher that 'my child would never tell a lie'.)

MitchyInge · 09/03/2009 09:28

it's not hysterical or panic-stricken for some dogs to be kept on a lead, nor is it pointless to have a dog that can't be exercised in public off the lead - which someone said a page or so back - it doesn't stop them from being fun, affectionate companions just because they have some problems

nor does it mean that they never enjoy off-lead exercise, maybe they come to groups like mine where they can bomb around private land safely, and work slowly towards re-socialising them after trauma

all the dogs I know that fall into the category of must-be-on-a-lead in public places have been attacked by out of control dogs - one, a beautiful and well trained German Shepherd, was set upon by a pack of yorkshire terriers and the owner of the terriers thought it was funny as they took chunks out of him

another had his throat torn open by a staffie