What things irrationally wind the hell out of you?

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

I HATE listening to the BBC news in the morning, when the news readers say "its is EXACTLY half past six" because I always end up shouting "IT IS NOT!!" because it surely can never be EXACTLY unless they string out the sixxxxxx until it is exactly that time.

I get annoyed when people talk about the coins and say that the Queen is on the FRONT of the coin, she is on the back. Because if you were looking at all the pictures of all the coins, you'd put the Queen down to see the pics, therefore she is the back of the coin. And its only "heads and tails" because its a picture of her head.

When I'm really stroppy, I get annoyed at the Kool Kids sign near my house. If they wanted to use alliteration, use Cool Children, surely?!

So... what gets your goat for no reason

Americanisms, even on mn, such as 'I've just been hit on!' NO, you've been chatted up, asked out or possibly someone tried it on with you. Just step away from the SATC boxset and breathe...

The general inability to spell D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y.

Brits abroad who make no effort at all with the language, expect people to speak English and if they don't just shout louder and treat the waiter/shop assistant like they are retarded.

Women over 35 who call themselves 'girls' i.e 'I'm such a shoe-girl!' cue giggle. Why are we so reluctant to call ourselves women?

When I say to DH, 'I can't find x' & the inevitable 'Well, where did you leave it?'?!?

The fact that about half the English-speaking population think that LOSE is spelt LOOSE or that COULD OF/SHOULD OF means anything at all, think about what you are saying!

Second apostrophe abuse, poor wee apostrophes...

That blardy advert that goes on about 'real lawyers, yes REAL LAWYERS!' Oh really? Thank God I was expecting mannequins & blow -up dolls strapped to chairs pretending to be lawyers. Phew.

People (mainly my pils) refering to anyone vaguely Asian looking as 'that Indian lady'. Really? Do you know she's from India? She might be British or Moroccan, from Sri Lanka or Pakistan, or anywhere in fact.

'At the end of the day', 'basically', 'I turned around and said' , 'like', mean nothing, they are just fillers for the inarticulate

oh & the Daily Mail!

People who take so long choosing from a menu that the waiter/ress has to come back THREE TIMES before they can take the order.

That would annoy me PRSB, don't you get hungry?

Oh and girls who insist on displaying their muffin-tops, especially in the winter. It's not attractive in any way.

Put a vest on. Or buy a top that fits properly. Or-better yet- a duffel coat.

Hmph.

anyone being on the road when i'm driving, my body, people saying asdas or mataland ffs. my mother asking 'how did you get on?'
people who say 'i/he/she turned round and said' people in supermarkets town centres etc asking you/harrassing you to donate/sign up to whatever, if i want to do it, i'll do it under my own steam now fo!.
my on-screen keyboard [spilt wine on my keyboard]
new people starting job with no experience and telling me what to do, ive been there 2.5 years ffs.

anybody or anything in general

People who go overboard on political correctness.
Yes, DD i can and will describe some people as 'black', just as i can and do describe myself as white (despite it also annoying me that they are both inaccurate and should be brown and pink).

people who phone in on radio quiz shows and finish with "can I say a few hellos?", erm no, get off the fecking radio and phone them yourself.

People whose diaries are booked up months in advance for playdates, Sunday Lunch etc, and insist on confirming some date months away when I will have completely forgotten why I ever wanted them over. Okay, so Sunday lunch I'm being a bit unfair, but a little friend dropping round to play should not require weeks of forward planning.
Bad grammar in schools going uncorrected.

Actually, really, basically are the ums of the articulate.

People who come to a full stop once they get off the escalator. People who stand and chat in shop doorways.

White clothing (disclaimer - unless you are a virgin bride).

People who stand in queues at shop/post office an complain about having to wait, even though they can see the staff are working as fast tas they can.

Unsolicited marketing/salesphone calls.

Unsolicited mail.

Social networking sites. All of them. Someday soon we will all just sit in a box 6 foot long (coffin) and type messages to people. Go and interact properly. Stop having life's great discussions with people by text. I love you, I hate you, I'm leaving you, I'm having an affair. STOP IT. TALK to people. (and yes, I am aware of the irony of stating the above on an internet message forum............. )

NB, oh that's so true, I can't stand the phrase "on a journey", and all its permutations - so irritating.

Also can't bear when people say/write "end of." - end of what exactly? And "full stop", as well.

pingviner

Greeters in shops - I was applauded into a Disney Store in New York (I happened to arrive just as the shop was oppening for the day) - the staff all lined up at the doorway and applauded the customers into the shop.

I cringed and cringed and then had to hide and cry. A journalist collared me and interviewed me about the 'experience'. I was quite forthright.

people who say samidge for sandwich

people who say red-chester for register

jeans tucked into ugg boots - it's not that cold

kids pasta shapes

toddlers drinking juice out of baby bottles

anyone driving a 4 x 4 who doesn't live in the country

people misusing apostrophes - it's not carrot's it's carrots

this is like therapy

When people say 'I turned around and said...' does this mean that up until that point they had been standing with their back to someone? Why?

(I don't actually hear that very often at all, and I'm glad because I can see that it would be very annoying)

The amount of tacky adverts featuring shite music compilations aimed specifically at mothers day. From slushy shite by Micheal Ball to Mum's rock, a feeble collection of girly rock ballads that frankly I would rather throw myself off a cliff than listen too.

I agree with you blonde, Fearne bastard Cotton, she should be taken out back and shot. Everyone says "oh she's so lovely", it's a pity she can't bring these qualities into her presenting, she's everywhere FFS, like shit in a field.

The expression 'pop' as used in 'that colour really makes your eyes pop' Really? Does it really?? This is used in Grazia and fashion mags a lot. very annoying.

People who say chimley. It's CHIMNEY you morons.

Pacific instead of specific.

Slumber instead of Lumbar.

Women who wear far too much mascara so it looks like petrified spiders balanced precariously on their eyelids.

Women who put themselves down by acting all girly and saying 'well I am blonde' giggle giggle snurk. FGS it is not 1957 you stupid twat. Feminism has occured, if you didn't notice.

Those souped up Vauxhall Calibras with the skirts and awful bodykit, as driven by 21 year old braindead boys. With baseball caps on (that's what keeps their brains in).

Women who wear sky high platform shoes even though they can't walk in them, and look like Bambi learning to walk.

Anna Friel.

People who travel with luggage in rush hour, particularly groups of tourists moving together in huge hoardes looking perplexed as to why the platforms and trains are crammed at 8.50am.

And while I'm at it, people going on extended holidays and calling it 'going travelling'. You're going on fecking holiday, just for a long time. I'm not suddenly more impressed and/or interested.

People who say 'haitch' instead of 'aitch' and people who say 'Mataland'.

how very dare folk attempt to travel at peaktimes with case to catch plane on time. cantdamn airlines only fly off peak
selfish gits

clearly planned to get you

Haitch is correct as in the correct term for the capital H! Aitch is incorrect!

People who make excuses for everything and everything is a drama.

God botherers who go to church every Sunday but wouldn't think to help an old dear/lady with 2 small children onto the bus.

Over precious parents at toddler groups.

People who have short arms and long pockets and never pay their share while out in a group.

No Dilly, the name for the letter H is pronounced 'aitch'. Just because it is and H doesn't mean it starts with an H.

Unless you are from Singapore, or went to a Catholic school in Australia, apparently

packets of cold ham etc that have "peel here"
on one corner, and they never bloody work.