What things irrationally wind the hell out of you?

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

I HATE listening to the BBC news in the morning, when the news readers say "its is EXACTLY half past six" because I always end up shouting "IT IS NOT!!" because it surely can never be EXACTLY unless they string out the sixxxxxx until it is exactly that time.

I get annoyed when people talk about the coins and say that the Queen is on the FRONT of the coin, she is on the back. Because if you were looking at all the pictures of all the coins, you'd put the Queen down to see the pics, therefore she is the back of the coin. And its only "heads and tails" because its a picture of her head.

When I'm really stroppy, I get annoyed at the Kool Kids sign near my house. If they wanted to use alliteration, use Cool Children, surely?!

So... what gets your goat for no reason

I have had fun reading these

"I fell" is even worse than "I fell pregnant" I think. Falls are what old ladies have.

Now then. I have a confession. I am a pedant.

I HATE it at Mum and Toddler groups when they sing:

"TEN fat sausages, sizzling in the pan
One went POP and the other went BANG"

The other? THE OTHER??? There are nine others FFS!!!

So I sit there primly yet forlornly singing:

"One went POP and another went BANG"

... until there are only two left and it is grammatically correct to say the other.

Well the thread title does say "irrationally".

Tranny and Susannah referring to trousers as 'a nice trouser' - it's TROUSERS FFS

When my mother calls DS "her boy" and when she put a picture of him in a photo frame my sister gave her...which says,"Special Mum" on the frame.

All the formula milk adverts which are clearly trying to get round the legislation governing advertising of formula milk by showing 6mnth plus babies and talking being ready to move on from breastfeeding...I have nothing against formula milk / bottlefeeding, just loathe the way adverts blatantly try and mislead people. Especially ones which have some dopey latinesque science name with "immuno" in it,to imply it has same health benefits of breastmilk.

The rice crispies ad with the little girl guessing which grain is snap,crackle...

The baby breakfast ad with the blood vessel burstingly annoying woman who is incapable of talking to her baby about anything interesting "it was too salty for little Golidlocks."

People who say goodbye to whoever they've visited and then beep their horn repeatedly as they drive up our road.

"I was sat." It's "I was sitting", unless someone actually picked you up and plonked you there.

People who scrape your car in a carpark and drive off without leaving their details.

Balloonslayer You just made me laugh out loud and as I am v.teary at the moment I have to thank you - Ta

When magazines describe something as being "bang on trend"

Sulky faced children of celebs - Peaches Geldolf, Kelly Osborne, Lily Allen,

"celebrity" programmes comprised of celebrities who have acquired their fame through being on a reality show in the first place.

Rebecca Loos.

Books on how to be a fabulous / scrummy / sexy / multi-orgasmic and all round wonderwoman mum, especially when written by people who can give mum fashion advice which doesn't involve how to shop the 50p racks at Primark.

People who ask why we live in a HA flat and don't buy a house.

t-shirts with slogans like "in your dreams" and "your boyfriend would" sported by seriously delusional women. Even more so in little girl versions i.e: "Spoiled and Worth IT" etc.

Shops which are based in massively inefficient buildings, responsible for tonnes of carbon emissions, huge levels of waste and reprehensible employment practices, yet still try to make out YOU are fucking up the environment by demanding a carrier bag. And I work for an environmental charity!!

People who beep the horn, sitting outside your house.
Knock
On
The
Bloody
DOOR!!!

people who say nothink instead of nothing - loads and loads of people say this

having the washing up bottle next to the sink, put it away!

pot pourri - get rid of the dust collector it looks horrid

people who park on pavements when i'm pushing the pram and can't get past

leopard print clothes and furnishings

babies over 6 months old in babygros during the day

mothers sucking dummies before shoving them back in babies mouth

people who are surprised they have to pay for their shopping and only start looking for their purse when they are told the amount

Tabloids.
The very term 'celebrity' - why should I celebrate someone else???? True talent, yes, hard work and exceptional success - yes, but your run of the mill garish, talentless, loud wanna-be's, WHY?
Skinny jeans, unless the wearer (that includes madame Moss) desires to look like a sausage.
Blind following of 'current trends'. Painful.

To be continued....

When people say "I am going out and my DH is going to babysit" How can he babysit his own children?!

the way Sarah Beeney says "Thaaaasand paaaands " instead of thousand pounds at least ten times in each prog.

Those made up ingredients in skincare products - wrinklegonium, smoothskinium, bullshitium.

Those mascara adverts where the model seems to be wearing a small strip of fur on her eyelid.

DD/DS/DH/DP - ewwww. Who calls them dear husband, dear son etc in real life? Nobody I know. Why do it on a message board?
Far too twee in a 1950s Doris Day kind of a way!

Babies and toddlers with pierced ears, little boys wearing rings, anybody with a pierced eyebrow over the age of 20.

And anybody who says 'at the end of the day' or 'basically' or 'I turned round and said, then she turned round and said...'

And lots, lots more..

PMSL Balloonslayer!

Am crying with laughter .

Will have to show DH this one when he gets home from work.

Birthday parties for pre-schoolers featuring Mr DJ and his dry ice, spinning disco lights and Barbie Girl/Cotton Eye Joe megamix at ear bleed levels.

People who say "Enjoy!"

Twit-ter.

The ubiquitous ivory satin strapless wedding dress - the bland uniform of the 21st century bride.

PMSL at BalloonSlayer......
Anyway..

People who blow their nose at the table next to me in a restaurant while I'm eating.

Those who think saying 'better out than in' when they have farted loudly and obnoxiously makes it more acceptable.

I second another poster's dislike of 'haitch'. It's aitch. It's in the dictionary. Look it up.

Inanimate objects that flatly refuse to do as they're told e.g remote controls that don't change the channel/turn up the volume. (Yes, I KNOW I should've changed the batteries but still)

The sudden awareness that a favourite author has used the same phrases/plotline in ALL their books.

'Lay' when it should be 'lie'. And so, Layeezee. Grr.

People who refer to England as the UK, and who say the UK when they really mean England.

There are 4 countries in the UK - England is only one of them

people who say "going forward" - take those two words out and the sentence still means the same.

drivers who don't know what to do at roundabouts and i am behind them screaming JUST F'ING GO!!

drivers who don't thank you when you let them out !! and then wonder why i am beeping my horn and screaming at them

people who block supermarket aisles

people who aren't aware of anything around them and GET IN MY WAY

i say uk..!
hate being told to 'enjoy'
but i really can't stand the ubiquitous LOL, LMAO, ROFPMSL..are you really?? i don't believe you

Thank you mama - you're a nice lady!

My MIL - she looked after my 14 week old for half an hour the other day, and now knows far more about him than I ever will, apparently

and the never ending

"and then like i was like...and she was like..and i like told her like..."

agghhhh, what are you trying to say???

And then he said
And then she said
And then I said
So he said
And she was all
And I said

1. Eating with mouth open
2. Drinking noisily
3. Saying 'criss' instead of crisps
4. Spitting!
5. "we're pregnant" -not possible.
6. The fashion for boys with their trousers below their bottom!!

5inthebed - what is worse is this

So she goes
and then I go
and then he goes
So I goes