What things irrationally wind the hell out of you?

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

I HATE listening to the BBC news in the morning, when the news readers say "its is EXACTLY half past six" because I always end up shouting "IT IS NOT!!" because it surely can never be EXACTLY unless they string out the sixxxxxx until it is exactly that time.

I get annoyed when people talk about the coins and say that the Queen is on the FRONT of the coin, she is on the back. Because if you were looking at all the pictures of all the coins, you'd put the Queen down to see the pics, therefore she is the back of the coin. And its only "heads and tails" because its a picture of her head.

When I'm really stroppy, I get annoyed at the Kool Kids sign near my house. If they wanted to use alliteration, use Cool Children, surely?!

So... what gets your goat for no reason

chegirl I always wonder what the people behind the scenes are whispering to the guests as they watch from back stage "stomp on when the confrontational music starts and shout in her face"

People who say "I'm sat down ...". You mean "sitting down".

People I ask "What can I do for you?" and they answer "Well, I'll tell you what it is..." - aaahhhgggg, yes, please, do; it always helps!!

Hesitant drivers, not slow drivers, but those who hesitate, seem to go, slow down again, then, no wait, not going, indicating, not indicating, aaaaaahhhggg!!

max in eastenders the way he shuffles along
people who say 'bring it on'
anton du beke what a complete arse

People describing a rash in great detail on the phone who will not accept a "yes, it sounds like it could be chickenpox, but I cannot be certain without seeing the rash. If you are worried I will see you this afternoon. No, I cannot confirm that it is not Ebola virus over the phone, although not v likely. No, I cannot give you a frigging antibioitic without actually knowing what it is. No, I do not know what it will look like tomorrow or whether it will be gone in time for you going out on the piss tomorrow night", aaaaaaggghhh!

None of this is made up, BTW.

Mummy agree about the drivers

Also about people who preface everything they say with a little introduction. DH does this a lot, especially when telling funny stories. Sounds like flippin Rinnie Corbett sometimes !

Sorry, Ebola virus was not actually mentioned, and I did not say "frigging" or "out on the piss" in RL .

I am a professional, me!

That's Ronnie Corbett, not Rinnie Corbett

People who dress their DDs like street walkers

People who think the middle of the supermarket is the best place for a long chat

People who think a queue is for others and not for them.

People who park on the zigzag lines outside the schools (always the fatties who would do well to walk a bit)

People who meander all over the pavement when you are in a hurry

People who drop litter

People who spit

People who have bad taste in music but want to share it with you blasting out from their cars of phones without headphones

People who give their children chavy / stupid names

People who love to tell you how much they paid for everything

People who shout Racist, sizeist, ageist, sexist, when they do not get their own way

and anyone who drives a golf of polo

Lol screaming I think they get pushed on.

And why do they always say 'can I just say something now, you've had your say' and then are so flippen inarticulate they cant string four words together.

I have just thought what I hate most, it happens to occour on JK quite often. When people say 'I love him/her to bits' 'You know I love you all the world' etc etc. You know as soon as those words come out of their mouths that they dont love anyone but themselves.

Blueshoes, do you perchance remember Hylda Baker: "Well she was sat sitting there..."

Who mentioned the Dogs Trust? Is that the Sponsor a Dog Today one? Where the dog will write to you - contact us on Theresoneborneveryminute.com

What about the ambulance chaser advert where the guy has a broken leg and his mate writes the number of the legal firm on his plaster? I always wonder whom he is planning to sue, the other driver or the salesperson who sold him his godawful settee.

chegirl or "I love him to death". Best thing for all concerned I'd say.

In my job I have to ask people to take a seat and I HATE it when they say "where do you want me to take it?!" They think they are hilarious and the first person ever to have said it. Also, people phone to make an appointment and when you offer a date/time they say "Hang on, I'll just get my diary" and then go off for 5 minutes - bring it to the phone BEFORE you dial.

Bad day in the NHS here too Mummyfor3 although not doing house calls thankfully (NHS solidarity emoticon!)

The way my Southern in-laws say 'coming down' to see me when THEY ARE COMING UP FFS. I live in the NORTH - UP UP UP.

Anyone who thinks they are the first/only person to have had a baby

Call centres

Stupid people

Tesco on line shopping

My sister

People who say ergo

People who think their child could not ever misbehave

Mondays

Morons who talk about being 'alchohol dependent' more JK screaming. I dont mean people with real substance abuse problems. I mean those who got pissed and shagged their mother in law and then say 'you know it happened when I was alchohol dependent'.

How do these people learn the language? (actually I know how they do, they watch JK).

Oooo OOO what about 'Im not being funny, but'

bradsmissus I piss of my DS2 (age 5) every day 'cos he asks me to put on his shoes, and I say "but they won't fit me"

My 65 year old mother actually said to me last week that she had 'sourced' something. SOURCED FFS! Doesnt anyone buy anything anymore?

people bellyaching about the NHS and staff,the i hate my GP/OT/Nurse yadda yadda

yes i know errors and malpractice happen

you know what sometimes we have shit days too

My dh constantly and wilfully referring to two slices of bread with a filling as a "sangwich."

Where's the fucking G in that word! Where is it?!?

Every advert with annoying music, which is most of them these days, but in particular the Land Rover Discovery one.

OOOh .. People who say texties instead of texts on JK

God, I agree with so many of these. The spitting and the stupid adverts and the ickle keckles and the "hearting" and the giving 120% and other office-speak like "blue skies thinking" and so on, and the "coming up" (or "coomin oop" as my MIL says) and the hot meal called a "tea" and the "Tescos"... and a "slap up meal" has always sounded DISGUSTING to me.

I'll just throw my old favourites "haitch" and "would of" into the mix for now.

Oh, and the pre-recorded woman on the Orange enquiry line who pretends to be a Real Life Woman with a Chatty Voice. Especially when she says "Okay, so d'ya want to..."

'sangwich'

Oh dear, he need to be beaten repeatedly about the head with a stout broom.

People who go on about their 'bump' irritate the shit out of me

Also referring to

telly
wellies
Ollie (and silly middle England names like that)

Mummyof3, maybe you have met my grandmother? She once called the emergency doctor out for my 14 year old cousin because he was fast asleep with a really bad headache, sore eyes in the light, and covered in all these awful marks that didn't disappear when a tumbler was pushed over them. The doctor was there in 15 minutes after the call, thinking my cousin might have meningitis. What he actually had was a migraine and uite a few moles on his back . Makes me question how she managed to raise 7 kids of her own!

I hate it when my MIL refers to the kitchen as the kitchenette. Is it slightly smaller than a normal kitchen then?