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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think first-degree cousins should not marry?

283 replies

Onestonetogo · 05/03/2009 17:06

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OP posts:
laweaselmys · 05/03/2009 17:36

Basically there's a difference between generations and generations of a family all marrying their cousins - which does cause problems - and a one off. In the OP's case if the couple are not the nth time this has happened in their family they had no reason to expect anything worrying to happen.

DP would like to point out his greatgrandmother married her cousin and they're fine.

JazzHands · 05/03/2009 17:38

If there were an unacceptable risk level it would be well known and illegal I'm sure, as it is currently illegal to marry a sibling or parent (or grandparent?)

cory · 05/03/2009 17:38

If a family has an inherited condition, then obviously the mating of two partners carrying the same gene will make it more likely that the child is born with the condition. This does not mean that all related couples run the same risk. Some families have no inherited conditions. Other families have them, but not all members are carriers. On the other hand, the same risk will occur if you happen to marry someone outside of your family who also happens to carry the gene for whatever the condition. So it's probabilities rather than certainties. And of course cousins may not necessarily inherit the same genes, as they are only related on one side. If dd has inherited her genetic condition from my side, then any marriage to a potential cousin on father's side wouldn't make her more likely to pass it on to her child.

But obviously if a family keeps intermarrying for generations, then any genetic traits are going to be much more likely to be carried through.

Bloss, older marriage laws were not always based on much of an understanding of genetics. In medieval Europe, it was illegal to marry someone who was a godmother to the same child to whom you were a godfather, as this was considered to make you related. But I doubt that it would have much of an effect on birth defects. Besides, powerful families could always get a dispensation anyway.

fishie · 05/03/2009 17:39

well they did get divorced...

actually a child of his subsequent marriage has a genetic learning disability so there you go. you can't know what will happen when you breed with anybody unless full genetic testing is carried out.

bloss · 05/03/2009 17:45

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bloss · 05/03/2009 17:46

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RubyRioja · 05/03/2009 17:48

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Onestonetogo · 05/03/2009 17:48

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JazzHands · 05/03/2009 17:50

So why did they change the law then?

I suppose there are many facets to this - cultural norms, genetic problems, natural aversion to incest and that many laws were made before genetic conditions were understood. It was just known that when brothers and sisters had babies they were often not very well.

But I don;t understand if it was not OK genetically why they would have changed the law to say cousins could marry? I mean there can't have exactly been a huge lobby...

RubyRioja · 05/03/2009 17:51

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RubyRioja · 05/03/2009 17:54

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jemart · 05/03/2009 18:14

Whilst legal in this country, I've always been under the impression that it's rather frowned upon to marry a first cousin.

Interesting that it is common practice among muslims, didn't know that. Had thought that marrying cousins was a bit historical and no longer commonplace at all.

amanda12 · 05/03/2009 18:16

I spent a year working on a childrens ward in a large city hospital and came across at least 7 children who had very rare and unusual genetic illnesses. They all but 1 had parents who were first cousins and were middle eastern origin. The other one had a mother who had learning disabilities and father who was also grandfather !!

bloss · 05/03/2009 18:19

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JazzHands · 05/03/2009 18:20

Where did Chris fit into that equation bloss

FAQinglovely · 05/03/2009 18:21

why would they make it illegal to marry you're former daughter/son in law?? or indeed anyone that has become family by default of marriage?

(not that I can ever see myself doing such a thing of course )

JazzHands · 05/03/2009 18:23

That one jumped out at me as well FAQ!

The other non blood ones yuo can see as they go against the parent/child relationship.

lljkk · 05/03/2009 18:43

A Daughter (or Son) in law is a surrogate blood relationship. I can see a logic in making their intermarriage illegal -- else it's potentially exploitive.
I don't agree with OP, but I do think that people from cultures where multi-generational marriage between first cousins is common, should be informed about the potential risks.

Grendle · 05/03/2009 18:46

Rubyrioja -you can marry your stepsister or step brother provided you haven't been raised in the same household as siblings (I can't remember the technical wording, but this is the effect).

Haven't had time to search the medical journals, but I'm sure there was a fairly recent report highlighting that it's issues around known genetic disorders in particular populations that tend to cause a higher need for medical care where close marriages occur, not the marrying of 1st cousins per se.

Onestonetogo · 05/03/2009 18:47

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Onestonetogo · 05/03/2009 18:49

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SerendipitousHarlot · 05/03/2009 18:55

IvyKaty, you do know that muslims can sometimes be caucasian?

singleWhiteMale · 05/03/2009 19:07

This was one of the subjects of Radio 4's "Thinking Allowed" with Laurie Taylor on 18th Feb. It's available to listen again at the moment.

roseability · 05/03/2009 19:23

Didn't Woody Allen marry his adopted daughter?

JazzHands · 05/03/2009 19:29

Yes he did. Good call roseability.

There was an outcry but it didn't seem to be illegal.

They probably have different laws in america though.