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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect my neighbours to be a little more apologetic about laying carpets today?

67 replies

Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 11:36

Grrr! My fucking upstairs neighbours who are noisy enough at the best of times (the woman clomps up and down the flat in her high heels) are laying carpets today. I just went upstairs to politely ask them what rooms they were working in as I needed to put my 20mo DD down for a nap. He said they were doing all the rooms in one day, and I explained that I need to put DD down for a nap and that we could hear all the noise and he said 'well you're bound to aren't you'. I manged to extract from his builder that they were doing the bedroom last so I said I would put DD down in our bedroom in the travel cot. Our neighbour said 'well we put a notice out on the front door today' and I told him that I hadn't been out yet. Fair enough that he is getting his carpets done (and thank fuck really, we could have sworn they had wooden floorboards with the amount of noise they make, but they don't), but AIBU to expect him to be just a little more apologetic for ruining my day? It's even more anxiety making as DD has her first settling in session at nursery today so I'm desperate for her to have a good nap before hand.

If it were me and someone came up I would have said 'I'm really sorry, hope you don't mind, it's just one day and it'll be done...' yada yada yada. They are such twats, we asked them once before if they would mind being a little quieter as we can here them all day and evening all over our flat. We live in a really old building and when you live above someone it's just courtesy to be a bit more thoughtful and not stop around in your shoes, or come home at 3am and fling your shoes off onto the floor relly loudly.

Arrrrggghhhhh! This is not going to be a good day!

OP posts:
DrTrillianAstra · 05/03/2009 11:39

It would have been polite for them to warn you before hand, but I think you are being a little bit unreasonable here: they had no way of knowing that you were 'desperate' for DD to have an extra-good nap today, and they are getting the carpets laid in one day so you are only disturbed for one day. And as you said once the carpets are laid they will disturb you less than before, so you are benefiting from these carpets (maybe, a little bit).

kitbit · 05/03/2009 11:40

You're not unreasonable to be miffed that their activities have encroached on your day, but I think you're being a bit too grumpy about it really (but given past history and your concern that dd is starting nursery and need her sleep today that's probably not surprising...).

Can you take dd out and let her sleep in the buggy/car?

Don't let your head get wound up by it, avoid instead and it will all be over by the end of the day.

oopsagain · 05/03/2009 11:41

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AllFallDown · 05/03/2009 11:41

YABU ... they are getting all their carpets done in one day, minimising the inconvenience to you. Just suck it up. They can't plan their carpeting around your childcare.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/03/2009 11:41

I'm afraid I agree, it is not his fault it was so important for DD to have a good nap today, on another day it might not have annoyed you so much, so it's just bad timing really..I do feel your pain though!!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 05/03/2009 11:42

Sorry but I think YABU.

They have put out a sign, but unfortunately you didn't see it.

They're probably a bit stressed themselves having the whole flat done in one day.

I'm guessing (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that your daughter is a pfb, and that your neighbours don't have any dc? If I'm right then you're never going to see eye to eye on this one!

psychomum5 · 05/03/2009 11:42

I think you are a tad wound up about the nursery session, more so than the laying of carpets, TBH.

at least it is only one day of it. carpet laying when we were in a flat was one per day, so the entire flat took a working week.

I think that would piss you off more!

and think of the peace tonight

mayorquimby · 05/03/2009 11:42

i think yabu but ubnderstandably so. i presume they didn't build the place so the fact that it's an old building and you can hear everything on the wooden floors is not their fault. and from your description it sounds like kicking off their shoes and walking around in their own apartment is something you object to when they can't help the noise. i've lived below people like this and when we compared the noise levels it really was them simply walking around and not "stomping" like it sounded to us below.
now they're doing something that will curtail the noise in the future and you are gvong out again.
i understand it's annoying, but it's an unavoidable annoyance of living in flats,.

morningpaper · 05/03/2009 11:42

they are having a hellish day moving furniture, taking time off work, not being sure if the carpetman will come, AND NOW the crazy housewife from downstairs (who they think swans around drinking tea all day) is MOANING FFS!

YABU

Twims · 05/03/2009 11:42

Is she your pfb?

mayorquimby · 05/03/2009 11:44

**giving out again

morningpaper · 05/03/2009 11:47

also they really have NO IDEA about having children, I should imagine

so this is like them saying "Can you stop hoovering? My cat is feeling stressed"

they no understand

PrammyMammy · 05/03/2009 11:49

yabu, Flats are noisy. I can hear the man downstairs sneeze if i don't have the tv on or if i am in the bath. I hear their grandchildren laughing and running around, doors closing and more. But i am above them, so i can only imagine the noise they hear from me and my ds. I bet they hear lots of noise from you too.
They are doing everything in one day, probably so they don't drag the noise and work out.

OrmIrian · 05/03/2009 11:54

"'well we put a notice out on the front door today' "

I think that was enough surely. Not obliged to do that I don't think.

YABU. And I think more than a little stressed ? Your child will not spontaneously combust without a nap. Honestly.

I hope the carpets help .

MmeLindt · 05/03/2009 11:57

Sounds more like you are stressed about your DD going to the nursery for the first time. I bet she will be just fine, great nap or not.

FannyWaglour · 05/03/2009 12:01

You must be really stressed out with your baby starting nursery.

First you complain they are making noise when walking, they take steps to rectify by laying a carpet and you complain about that too. I think you are stressed.

If you really need her to have a nap, could you take her out for a walk in the pushchair and see if she naps?

I hope it goes well for you.

mayorquimby · 05/03/2009 12:03

(lights fuse) so don't you think you should go up to your neighbours and be a little bit more apologetic about your behavior..(runs away )

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 05/03/2009 12:05

You have to expect a certain amount of noise if you live in flats! I think you're being totally unreasonable.

smurfgirl · 05/03/2009 12:11

mp speaks the truth, it would not occour to me to tell people about such things so they can co-ordinate naps - when you don't have children all these things are alien concepts. Sorry YABU.

HMC · 05/03/2009 12:11

I think you are being unreasonable. It's not a big deal, and wouldn't bother me in the same situation

cat64 · 05/03/2009 12:11

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Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 12:13

Arrggghhhh! Bugger off the lot of you!

I know I am just anxious about nursery etc. and I'm not asking them not to do it or anything, I just want them to be a little more apologetic about it rather than 'well it's bound to be noisy isn't it?', I just want them to not be twunts. If it were me I would be apologetic because it is an inconvenience. I know you think I am BU and I may be but you don't know what it is like night after night to hear them stomping around all evening, droping things on the floor, it's constant and when we mentioned it to them because we thought they might not have realised how noisy it is given that they are on the top floor they didn't apologise, they just did it even more.

One last thing, I can take it if IABU, but please please please for fuck sake do NOT say 'is it your PFB?' I fucking hate that so much, it's so belittling. I am having a bad day, I am tired from my first week of increasing my hours, DD is sobbing and going to nursery later and my neighbours are twunts. This is nothing to do with PFB syndrom, so don't assume it is.

OP posts:
Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 12:15

Oh, and I wasn't asking them to co-ordinate with my DD's nap, I was simply asking them what rooms they were doing so I could put DD down. It seemed like the sensible thing to do. No point putting her down in my bedroom if they were about to start on that and leave the room above her bedroom.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 05/03/2009 12:16

THEY DON'T GET IT

They have an exciting life of high heels and lovely flooring

They DO NOT COMPUTE with babies

Can you get out, or do something nice? What about a bath together? Or nap with her, in the bed, and explain what they are doing?

It will be ok

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 05/03/2009 12:18

I didn't mean to belittle you when I asked if your dd is your pfb. Sorry if you took offence.

Do you have any other dc btw

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