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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect my neighbours to be a little more apologetic about laying carpets today?

67 replies

Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 11:36

Grrr! My fucking upstairs neighbours who are noisy enough at the best of times (the woman clomps up and down the flat in her high heels) are laying carpets today. I just went upstairs to politely ask them what rooms they were working in as I needed to put my 20mo DD down for a nap. He said they were doing all the rooms in one day, and I explained that I need to put DD down for a nap and that we could hear all the noise and he said 'well you're bound to aren't you'. I manged to extract from his builder that they were doing the bedroom last so I said I would put DD down in our bedroom in the travel cot. Our neighbour said 'well we put a notice out on the front door today' and I told him that I hadn't been out yet. Fair enough that he is getting his carpets done (and thank fuck really, we could have sworn they had wooden floorboards with the amount of noise they make, but they don't), but AIBU to expect him to be just a little more apologetic for ruining my day? It's even more anxiety making as DD has her first settling in session at nursery today so I'm desperate for her to have a good nap before hand.

If it were me and someone came up I would have said 'I'm really sorry, hope you don't mind, it's just one day and it'll be done...' yada yada yada. They are such twats, we asked them once before if they would mind being a little quieter as we can here them all day and evening all over our flat. We live in a really old building and when you live above someone it's just courtesy to be a bit more thoughtful and not stop around in your shoes, or come home at 3am and fling your shoes off onto the floor relly loudly.

Arrrrggghhhhh! This is not going to be a good day!

OP posts:
MitchyInge · 05/03/2009 12:20

what morningpaper said really

we probably do all know what it is like to be overtired and to have difficulty coping with adverse events alongside caring for a baby - honestly, you might be surprised at what some people have had to get through

I think going out for a walk is a great idea, baby can nap while you de-stress

Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 12:24

I know they don't get it, and I know they shouldn't have to, I just wish they weren't such twunts, they are not very nice people, it's not just me, other neighbours think so too. It's not difficult to walk quietly when you live in a flat. It's just not what I need today and this thread was a mistake so I am going to leave it and go and sob with my daughter because the pounding is doing my bloody head in. Sorry.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 05/03/2009 12:29

Why are you still in the flat? Why not go out and visit someone, or go to soft play? You can wear her out and have her nap when you get back.

Try and show your DD that you are FINE and HAPPY and she will pick up on that. If you are giving off vibes that THIS IS THE DAY FROM HELL AND MUMMY IS SOBBING she is going to lose the plot when you drop her off at nursery.

Go to your parents? A friends? Plan something NICE for the day. RECLAIM THE DAY!

FannyWaglour · 05/03/2009 12:29

Why dont you go out?
Is there a reason why you have to stay in and listen to it?

morningpaper · 05/03/2009 12:30

You could put her in buggy, go for walk to soft-play/woods/park and then she can fall asleep on the way home, while you take a flask of coffee and a paper and sit on a park bench and read it while she naps, and EVERYONE HAS A GREAT DAY

MitchyInge · 05/03/2009 12:31

plus, when you get back, think how muted the noises from upstairs will be by all that lovely new carpet

wotulookinat · 05/03/2009 12:32

Yes, be pleased that you will hear a lot less of them when the carpet is down.

FannyWaglour · 05/03/2009 12:38

I know where you are coming from. The neighbours are annoying. They are twunts. They are above you, so the noise you make is possibly not annoying them.

Unless your baby is crying really loudly at night, or you run your washing machine, or you hoover early on a saturday morning when they are sleeping it off, etc, and all they can do is stomp about on their heels and HOPE they are as annoying as you
and you FINALLY think, hey, they have carpet layers in, and I really cant stand those noisy twunt-holes, so let me just go up there and make a little bit of a nuisance of myself. SO there.

But I agree with MP. Get out, enjoy the lovely spring weather, enjoy your dd, and try make it a nice day.

Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 12:54

OK, point taken, thanks for the advice. We are having lunch then going out. I'm just grouchy because it's the one day off I have this week and if DD doesn't get her 2 hour nap I don't get my 2 hour alone time which I am desperate for now I am working 9 hours days the rest of the week. Sorry for being grouchy. I have just sat and cried which tells me two things: I need to get off mumsnet because it's really bothered me to have a dozen people I don't know tell me I am being unreasonable, and possibly my period is due.

OP posts:
FannyWaglour · 05/03/2009 13:01

Get some air. Hopefully your dd settles well. Good luck!

morningpaper · 05/03/2009 13:07

Yes good luck, I hope you have some nice moments this afternoon! The weather is FAB!

Peachy · 05/03/2009 13:07

yabu sorry

Dh works nights but if yelled ateveryy neighbour doing diy or car driver beeping he'd be u too, as life goes n regardless of shift or baby. fume andrant (where better than here?) yes but thatsabout all you can do.

MmeLindt · 05/03/2009 13:08

I am jealous of your lovely weather, hope you have a nice day and enjoy it a bit. Good luck for your DD's first day at nursery.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 05/03/2009 13:10

oops when you said 'we had a deaf man upstairs when ds1 was newborn. he liked to watch sat tv and channel surf all morning ' I read it as 'dead man'.

dittany · 05/03/2009 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllFallDown · 05/03/2009 13:16

But why should anyone need to be apologetic about laying carpets during normal working hours? It's not massive building work or any sort of a longterm disturbance - it's an ordinary piece of household maintenance.

Tamarto · 05/03/2009 13:19

YABU - Do you ask them not to flush their toilet too?

cory · 05/03/2009 13:20

I know it can feel very patronising when people ask if it is your pfb. But this is the one case where it is actually relevant. Because no second or third or fourth child can ever expect to have the house quiet when they need to nap. It just doesn't happen. If there is an older sibling the noise level will be constant (or revied up when they are told to be quiet) and babies/toddlers just have to cope.

dittany · 05/03/2009 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

troutpout · 05/03/2009 13:34

@ bumper ...i liked your rant (lets face it most of us want to rant about such stuff) and peed off admission that you probably were being a bit unreasonable (doesn't happen that ofton on mn)
Hope you are having a good afternoon

thecatintheflat · 05/03/2009 13:48

I live in an old flat too - and I totally know where you are coming from - but I think most posters are right (upstairs moan about dd crying, but i can hear their bloomin dog barking far more) 'tis the price we pay for our victorian tenement i'm afraid ... cats meow, dogs bark, babies cry, people do DIY .. it will be better 2morrow. Hope your dd is ok at nursery.

(incidentally i hate the PFB thing too.
next time we will be as cool as everyone else on here, no? )

oopsagain · 05/03/2009 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 05/03/2009 17:20

I hope you had a nice afternoon in the end

I hope the carpet fitters have gone and you are having a little glass of wine and feeling less stressed

is it quieter upstairs?

Bumperslucious · 05/03/2009 17:30

Thanks everyone for the perspective (well, those who were nice about it ). I ended up going for a drive as I knew she wouldn't sleep in the buggy (hell, I'd be lucky to get her in it at the moment). We drove for an hour and she slept thankfully. Nursery was fine, but an hour isn't the same as 8 hours so I hope she does ok tomorrow.

It is quieter now, though we did come back to some engineers testing our fire alarms which freaked DD out.

I shall be having wine tonight, I think I need it. Let's draw a line under this shall we and just accept that I am not as laid back and easy going as some of you?

OP posts:
SalBySea · 05/03/2009 17:34

YABU - laying carpet will make them quieter but it takes one day of noise to do it

I'm afraid I think its reasonable to make more noise between 7 am and 7 pm than at other times.

We have to do a lot of work to our flat at the mo. we asked one lot of neighbours if there were particular nap times (they have a small child) that they would like us to avoid but they were snotty about the fact that we were making any noise at all (well I'm sorry but tile cutters etc make noise and we did ask but we wont again), So now we only worry about the single man upstairs as he is very nice everytime we go up to tell him that we will be making noise but we will stop by Xpm so he knows it wont be all evening.