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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did mummy check your hair then?

42 replies

OrmIrian · 04/03/2009 10:17

Lice in DS#2's Yr 1 class last week. One child had them and lots of head scratching going on. Lice letter sent out which DH was given when he fetched the children (as he does 3 days out of 5). When DS#1 went to school on Monday the TA asked him whether 'mummy had checked his hair for lice'.

Why? Why not daddy whom the teacher sees every afternoon and whom she has much more chance to speak to than the mornings when it's a huge rush? Why does mummy have to do it? I am feeling unreasonably aggreived about this. So no matter how much DH does in the way of caring for the DC, it's still 'mummy' that has to be responsible.

BTW, we did. Checked, Hedrined and nit-combed. Before the nitaphobes start screaming at me

OP posts:
LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 04/03/2009 10:20

Are you feeling aggreived about something else, perhaps more important, which you have managed to keep calm about and this little thing has just been the last straw?

Saying that, YANBU.

Lemontart · 04/03/2009 10:24

I imagine it is just a turn of phrase and not deliberately sexist. Those sort of comments do irritate me too but don?t think it is personal really. In fact, I get equally irritated by overly careful PC statements so they just can?t win

compo · 04/03/2009 10:25

lol you are being a bit unreasonable but i can see your point
you sound very stroppy, are you peed off with school/dh/teachin assistants atm?!!

SlartyBartFast · 04/03/2009 10:27

it is sexism in a way,
btw who did check the hair??
mummy or daddy

JustCallMeGoat · 04/03/2009 10:29

sexism etc aside, lets face it mummies are much better at catching nits.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/03/2009 10:30

Ermm ...mummy as it happens. And I Hedrined it. But daddy combed it afterwards.

No. Not problem with TA or teacher. Or Dh.

I just dislike being treated as being the only one who can do anything.

And I also hate dealing with headlice.

OP posts:
swanriver · 04/03/2009 10:30

I try not to assume children have "daddies" when I help in school as a volunteer, as some are from one parent families. Though I agree the TA knew your family setup.
I do try and say things like "Ask your Mummy or Daddy to read you this book" to encourage them to rely on both parents.
Sounds like a good school tho', ours never ask the children whether they've checked and as a result it's a hellish task getting the nitcomb out - the kids don't see why they need to.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/03/2009 10:33

It is a good school swanriver. It's a lovely school.

I think I must just forget about it. It's not like me to get annoyed about such minor stuff....

OP posts:
Lemontart · 04/03/2009 10:35

Orm think happy thoughts and go grab some chocolate and a cuppa

nametaken · 04/03/2009 10:35

daddy's check hair for nits

JustCallMeGoat · 04/03/2009 10:37

she should have said 'did one of the responsible adults in your life check your hair?'

mrsgboring · 04/03/2009 10:38

This would annoy me too. When I leave DS at nursery they always say "mummy's going shopping" or "mummy's doing housework" They never say that if Daddy does the dropoff.

ChippingIn · 04/03/2009 10:40

Agree with Lemontart.

I often feel the same as you, however, what I try to remind myself is this...

It's a minefield to know what or what not to say to kids these days regarding who is looking after them, it seems no matter what you say you can't win.

For example, if she had said 'Did Daddy check your hair for lice' you could have been equally agrieved that 'she assumes because he picks DS up that he does everything and I do nothing....

Sassybeast · 04/03/2009 10:42

You have little to worry about Have some chocolate.

Flightattendant27 · 04/03/2009 10:42

I have never had my hair brushed, checked or anything else by a bloke who managed to do it without pulling! Especially my father!

PlumBumMum · 04/03/2009 10:45

I get annoyed when (if) I go out without the dcs people say oh whos babysitting dh?
I always say no they're at home with their dad, hes not a babysitter he's their dad?

MollieO · 04/03/2009 10:48

I suppose because most of the children are taken to school by their mums. I don't leap up and down when addressed as 'Mrs' since I assume most of the parents are married. If it is a particular concern to you then you need to make the teacher aware of it. For example my ds has no contact with his father so I made sure his teacher knew that.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/03/2009 11:08

"If it is a particular concern to you then you need to make the teacher aware of it"

No, it's not a particular concern. It just riled me a little. Seemed unneccessary somehow.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 04/03/2009 11:15

sorry i think yabu and looking for something to get angry about

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/03/2009 11:18

"looking for something to get angry about "

I don't think you know me very well mayor

OP posts:
Katisha · 04/03/2009 11:21

Daddy is the champion nit-catcher in this house! He was always able to find 'em after I had declared DS2s hair deloused...

By the way - they look really scary under DS1s microscope...

AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 11:26

....daddies DEAL with headlice.....

sagacious · 04/03/2009 11:26

So daddy thought it was so outrageous he had to report the slur back to you?

God I dread to think what would happen if you really did have a problem with the school !

Chill out and do some baking and light housework.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 04/03/2009 11:54

DS reported it back to us. Daddy thought it was funny

I am at work so can't bake anything right now. Perhaps I shall do some light programming, or concoct an e-mail.

OP posts:
LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 04/03/2009 11:56

..or perhaps just mumsnet...