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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if it would be too self-regarding to have an anniversary party?

32 replies

Wispabarsareback · 03/03/2009 15:11

DH is keen to have a party in a hotel for family and close friends to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary later this year. We've had an eventful few years in some ways, and DH really wants to mark our anniversary in this way - plus he's really sociable and he likes organising parties!

DH is keener on the idea than I am, although I've come round to it a bit - but I'm now wondering if it would be a bit yukkily self-regarding to invite people to a party to celebrate our own anniversary. Is it better for this sort of celebration to be kept private? Might it come across as a bit smug - 'look at us, we've been married for ten years'. Or am I being ridiculous and over-analysing the whole thing?

OP posts:
firstontheway · 03/03/2009 15:15

YANBU!

10 years of happy marriage is far more worth celebrating than a birthday IMHO
And parties are always a good idea, no matter the occassion!

Congratulations

herbietea · 03/03/2009 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bellabelly · 03/03/2009 15:22

Oh I think that it's a lovely idea! I don't think anyone would think it comes across as smug - they'll be too busy thinking how brilliant it is that you've been happy for 10 years. (And most people enjoy a party for its own sake anyway!)

compo · 03/03/2009 15:23

as long as you don't expect presents , have a present list and say no kids

flowerybeanbag · 03/03/2009 15:24

blimey, we had a fab 10th anniversary party last year, and it didn't occur to me that anyone might think I was smug or sefl-regarding. Most people were too busy enjoying themselves iirc!

2shoes · 03/03/2009 15:24

yanbu
but I would find it odd to be invited to a 10th

EllieG · 03/03/2009 15:25

Oh no parties are fun! Just say no presents and then have a blast!

Rehtom · 03/03/2009 15:28

I think any excuse for a party. A littel unusual. Think if I was invited to a 10 year anniversary I'd be a little and would be unsure about teh giuft thing but would still attend and get mightly drunk!

flowerybeanbag · 03/03/2009 15:30

Hope no one was at being invited to ours, that's a bit of a shame.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 03/03/2009 15:32

It's up to you. I wouldn't but I would rather have a private anniversary. It's between Dh and I, IMO. I know not everyone is like this though (unsocial miserable bugger, that is...)

tootyflooty · 03/03/2009 15:34

any excuse for a party. Maybe 10 years is not a traditional one, but what the heck, not sure about pressies , it might be better to say on the invite that you don't want gifts. Then no one can moan about you having a party just to get some pressies.

CMOTDibbler · 03/03/2009 15:34

We've had a few anniversary parties - all just bbqs at home with all and sundry, but have also been to friends 5th in a hall. Lovely to celebrate and look back over what has changed, and as it's close friends and family it's easy to make the invitation to come along and celebrate clear

Original poster
Wispabarsareback · 03/03/2009 15:37

God compo, I hadn't even thought about the 'presents' aspect - I'd be horrified if people thought we expected them. Another thing to stress about! And kids would definitely be included - that would be half the fun.

Herbietea you've got a point - I too would probably prefer a weekend away without kids (what a fantastic thought). Maybe we can do that as well, but DH is definitely keen on the party idea!

OP posts:
Original poster
Wispabarsareback · 03/03/2009 15:42

2shoes why is it odd to be invited to a 10th anniversary party? You see, I want to think the whole thing through before we go ahead!

flowerybeanbag it's good to hear your party went so well.

OP posts:
DesperateHousewifeToo · 03/03/2009 15:44

Do it!

It's a lovely excuse to see lots of your friends and family.

Oh, and to make them all watch your wedding video in full

JemL · 03/03/2009 15:47

I think it is a nice idea - especially if there are people there who came to your wedding - it is lovely to see people you care about happy together, especially given high divorce rate, etc, and I don't think it is odd to celebrate that.

mrsgboring · 03/03/2009 15:48

We had a party at our house for our 10th. We enjoyed it and it never occurred to me that anyone would think it was smug etc. We had a couple of gifts, but they were all of the wine/chocs variety that someone might bring just for the fact of being invited to a party. For a hotel do you'd probably need to say no gifts though.

Baconsarnie · 03/03/2009 15:54

It's a great idea, go ahead and celebrate! People just love a party. It's definitely not smug or self-regarding.

Bink · 03/03/2009 15:55

We wanted to do this and then just didn't .. so please do, for our sake too!

Our idea, which is I think similar to yours, would be that we would have a party to which children were +++++ welcome - for us that would have been the focus, really, children & fab children's entertainment (the sort that's fun for adults too), plus a whole lot of nice drinks for adults round the edges. We were thinking of having it where our ('childfree', ahem) reception had been. So, basically, we were wanting to make it not about us but about all our friends' families. And we'd have said no presents, definitely.

(My dh is like yours, gregarious & party-loving. I guess he didn't manage to win me round that year - I can't really remember why now ... probably school stress or something. So now we'll have to wait till 15)

Peachy · 03/03/2009 15:55

Wellwe're having one next year for ours, if anyone has a problem sod em!

not that they will- party, free food- what's not to like?

troutpout · 03/03/2009 16:00

very sweet of him imo

Nekabu · 03/03/2009 16:44

Sounds a fabulous idea and 10 years of marriage is definitely worth having a shindig for! Say no pressies on the invites and have a great time! After 10 years of marriage I dare say a weekend away as a family later on could maybe be arranged too ...

mm22bys · 03/03/2009 16:47

No, I think it's a lovely idea.

People often only get together for weddings and funerals, so why not have a "reunion" of everybody who was at your wedding (or other people who are important to you...)

YADNBU.

CompareTheMeerkat · 03/03/2009 16:48

We are thinking of having a party for our 10th wedding anniversary later on this year

CompareTheMeerkat · 03/03/2009 16:50

And haven't considered that anyone would bring presents.

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