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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed taht dh forgot my birthday today?

31 replies

littlemisschatalot · 03/03/2009 13:00

and that there were no presents or cards from the ds? why are men so fucking thoughtless? wouldnt mind but we went out for lunch on sunday as a birthday treat with my parents.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

OP posts:
NoBiggy · 03/03/2009 13:06

YANBU to be annoyed, or disappointed.

I hope someone remembered you.

Penthesileia · 03/03/2009 13:06

He may not have forgotten - the day is yet young! Perhaps he'll do something this evening? Is he at work at the moment?

Post again tomorrow, and I'll tell you whether or not you're being unreasonable.

badbadday · 03/03/2009 13:06

yanbu - that's not very nice at all

Is there any chance he's thinking of surprising you when he gets home from work

Fairynufff · 03/03/2009 13:06

Are you sure he hasn't planned something for later?

BettySwollux · 03/03/2009 13:06

YANBU Some men, eh?
Maybe he's pretending to forget, and do you a surprise party/dinner out.
Happy birthday x.

Original poster
littlemisschatalot · 03/03/2009 13:10

no. hes definatly forgotten. he realized when we woke up that it was my birthday and he hadnt got any cards or pressies from the kids.
i told him not to bother. he hasnt planned anything for later as he hasnt asked parents to babysit.
what use is a card from asda that the kids havnt even chosen given to me at 6.30pm, when they will be on the way to bed?

OP posts:
VerityClinch · 03/03/2009 13:12

You need to get him to programme "significant" dates (birthdays, anniversaries, mother's day, Christmas, if necessary) into his phone.

That's what my DH has done.

Lord knows, it's not the most romantic thing to do - and of course I would prefer that those dates were indelibly imprinted on his brain - but, to his credit, since he put them in his phone, he has never once forgotten!

Penthesileia · 03/03/2009 13:14

Ok, YANBU! I'm sorry. Did he apologise at least?

I know it's not the same, but can you treat yourself? Go out, buy a nice present, and something nice to eat, so that you can still celebrate this evening?

Smittals · 03/03/2009 13:15

Sorry to hear that - I really hope he pulls something together by the end of the day for you.

This is why I started giving long range warnings 3 weeks ago to DH. My birthday is this weekend - hopefully he might sort out a card at least, but I'm not holding my breath for one from DD. Am also planning to make my own b'day cake with lots of decorations and candles. Yes, I know it sounds sad but fuck it I'm pregnant, constantly starving, dangerously hormonal - I want a big cake and I'm not going to get it any other way!

Smittals · 03/03/2009 13:17

Sorry, posted too slowly - now I'm hoping your friends and family can make up for his lack of planning?? Not the same though I know.

Nekabu · 03/03/2009 13:24

I bet he'd remember National BJ Day.

I think in future big notes on the date on any calendars you have on the wall, remind him in plenty of time and maybe also say something along the lines of "I know you find it difficult to choose a birthday prezzy for me so I thought I'd let you know that this year I'd really like x, y or z." I would also remind your ds too.

badbadday · 03/03/2009 13:32

nekabu - pmsl at national bj day. Don't think there would be many dh's forgetting that one!

VerityClinch · 03/03/2009 14:07

That's the answer - tell him "isn't it a co-incidence that my birthday this year falls on national BJ day".

Job done.

If he "forgets" then you "forget" it's national BJ day.

If he remembers, you might just be so pleased with him that it's worth, er, honouring the special traditions attached to that particular national day.

Dropdeadfred · 03/03/2009 14:10

seriously? you think it's acceptable that a man shows you the love and respect of remebering your birthday only because he has been promised a blow job???

VerityClinch · 03/03/2009 14:13

No, not at all. Just saying that desperate times calls for desperate measures!

Jux · 03/03/2009 14:15

Sorry it's happened to you. I think that last year was the first year dh remembered mine (married for 11 now). This, despite having worked out that he needed reminding at least once a week for at least a month beforehand! One year, I told him what I wanted, where he could get it and how much it cost (£15). On the day (a Sunday) I was greeted by how ill he felt, no card or pressie, and he then snoozed on the sofa all day, rousing sufficiently to ask for tea every few hours.

I took dd to the park and cried discreetly, and then off to my bf's house, where her mum took charge of dd, while friend took charge of me.

Another really bad one was when we were in France and he decided that was the day when he had to drive 75 miles to find petrol.

Onward and upward. Guilt trip him mercilessly and don't let him forget it again.

Jux · 03/03/2009 14:17

Happy birthday

Jux · 03/03/2009 14:20

Oh, and next year (and every year thereafter!) buy yourself something small and lovely, wrap it beautifully and leave it out on the kitchen table/dressing table the night before. Make a huge show of opening it carefully, and being really pleased with it. Thank yourself very gracefully and happily for it.

Evil.

Hassled · 03/03/2009 14:22

I'm sorry, that's just shit.

Sounds ridiculous in the circumstances, but many happy returns of the day. I hope it gets better.

thatsnotmymonster · 03/03/2009 14:25

Well my birthday was on Sunday and dh didn't forget but he still got me nothing. He got me a card and claimed that he thought I had told him not to get anything. I actually said not to spend loads of money. I just wanted a couple of wee things wrapped up for the dc's to give me and maybe a cake. In the end my mum bought me a cake and I made my own birthday tea.

Why is it that so many men just don't know how to make your day special?

DaphneMoon · 03/03/2009 14:30

OP don't complain till tomorrow, he may have a wonderful surprise for you yet and it will make you look a bit ungrateful. Leave it till tomorrow when officially it will be "late" and go for the jugular. God men are so bloody thoughtless, I really think they have a chunk of their brains missing when it comes to dates etc. Many happy returns anyway.

cikecaka · 03/03/2009 14:46

Happy Birthday, My DH remembered to buy a card from him this year, none from my 4 dcs, nothing else though, as I purposely didnt buy my own presents as I normally do . Worse still my own DM forgot! We share the same birthday, she gratefully tok my cards and gifts and I got nothing in return. I then had to do a birthday tea as family was visiting and still nothing

Helen31 · 03/03/2009 14:57

Happy Birthday from me!

I suggest that you go out and buy something nice for yourself, as you really do deserve a little something. And how about organising a birthday tea with the dc? I know it's a bit sad to have to do it yourself, but at least this way the dc see you having a birthday treat (and they don't need to know who organised it), so that when they get a little older, hopefully they will be less useless well trained for any future DILs.

motherlovebone · 03/03/2009 16:15

YANBU!

Many happy returns!

wolfear · 03/03/2009 16:21

OMG - I'd kill him. He never would though cos I always remind him weeks before!

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