To think it's ok to breastfeed a newborn in the library?

[thisismynewname]

DS (8 weeks) feeds A LOT. His sister was the same - none of this feeding for 20 mins then three hours gaps nonsense, more like feed for three ours with 20 min gaps.

DD (2) needs to be doing something other than being stuck in the house with me feeding or bored at the same toddler group feeding.

So...we went to the library today. There is a big sign on the door saying 'breastfeeding mothers welcome' and we only went in the children's library. They have loads of cushions on the floor (shaped like widgey cusions) and as there was hardly anyone in there no one was using them. So, I used one to prop up DS while I fed him and DD pottered around with the books.

I was reading quietly to DD when a snotty faced -ancient- middle-aged librarian came over and told me that 1) we were making too much noise and 2) the cushions were for the children to sit on, not for feeding babies.

I got the distinct impression it was my breasts she actually didn't like, but obviously couldn't say so, despite the fact that I am the queen of discreet feeding.

WAS IBU for being made to feel unwelcome and discriminated against by this woman?

Complain about the woman. She harrassed you. Harrass her back.

what a daft woman! But it does seem that every library has one. Write a letter, if you have time.

And they wonder why people don't use libraries much these days. Is it any wonder with Victorian era staff?

Next time politely ask her if she can see the sign about breastfeeding welcome.

Stone faced old cow! lol

She was complaining about a mother reading a book to her child in a children's library? And bf when it specifically encourages that? And using the cushions provided for the use and confort of visitors? At a time when councils are worrying about low library use?

Complain. Even if the bf wasn't openly stated, the stated reason's complainable, too. She sounds the type who thinks her shop/restaurant/library would function so much more effectively without the public barging in all the time.

If the library says you're welcome, and the silly librarian says you're not, then you have every right to complain.

I'm all for women breastfeeding when/where they like, couldn't care less, although I bottle fed mine.

That said, I am loving Desi's work

I think people who say

"Oh I have no problem with breastfeeding. As long, of course, as I don't have to share the same space / have its existence inflicted upon me visibly / allow a breastfeeding mother the same privileges and freedoms I enjoy. "

Should try substituting other words for the italics, say, "black people" or "gays" or "disabilities".

Hear it through different ears perhaps.

i agree vlc. soemtimes when i am in shops etc and i ask where i can feed the baby i am directed to the disabled toilet or baby changing area. i always laugh and say

" oh i'm sorry, did you think i said change the baby? I said feed him! oh you are so funny, imagine suggesting that a customer ate in the toilets!!!"

they always smile weakly.......

as you say, maybe disabled people or black people should eat in the toilet or at home in case they upset/offend others

Just adding another voice to the chorus. I used to work as a library assistant and we had a great children's section with soft cushions and toys. We NEVER expected it to be quiet over there!

Someone suggested your breastfeeding using the cushions/near the cushions would be unhygenic for those who wanted to use them later??? Um...how about lots of snotty-nosed little kids rubbing their faces all over those same cushions, or kids with leaky nappies jumping on them? I don't know how often ours got washed, but would say an accidental leak of breast milk would be far preferable to the other stuff lurking on those cushions!

Honestly think you should complain, particularly as there was a sign 'welcoming' you.

YANBU

I wouldn't care if there was a sign or not.

I've done it in church and everything

Maybe I'm inconsiderate but needs must when the devil drives and all that.

Oh, these type of things make me
YANBU, she's probably a silly old cow on a power trip. IME there are lots of people on admin jobs in public places, schools, drs receptions and the like, who get a kick out of bullying the public -am I the only one to have experienced this? They're bored and they've been there for so long they know they won't get sacked because one person complained about the way they treated them.
You should complain anyway. And if you know other regulars at the library mention it to them. They might have experienced something similar.
One letter of complaint might not get the stupid cow sacked. But if several people complain she might get a slap on the wrist.
Like someone mentioned before, the Breastfeeding Bill protect us all BF mum's here in Scotland. So if you happen to live here and someone comes to disturb you while you're feeding your kid they're potentially breaking the law.
As for the cushions, you used a cushion to put your baby on it. Well, it's a children's library, the cushions are for the children, your child was on it. If we're going to split hairs, she can't deny a child the use of a cushion, whatever the child's age.
And as for the noise, what does she expect? that kids come and sit down to read by themselves, in silence??

I managed to jump a huge queue at the Primark changing rooms as the staff got very uncomfortable and wanted to give me some privacy. I was actually quite discrete as ever, but didn't protest

Jesus, what pathetic excuse for a female that librarian is. I am breastfeeding my 6 month old dd3 and god help anyone who ever dares to tell me to stop. I would literally go through the roof. I would go the same way if i ever anyone say anything negative to a feeding mother anywhere. There would be noise for sure!

I must look fierce though as despite feeding 3 dds' wherever and whenever i wanted no one has ever critisised. The closest i ever came was at a car dealership when i was feeding dd2. One of the (male) sales assistants mentioned that some people (not him though!) complain about feeding in public. I cheerfully told him that i consider such people to be misogynistic, chauvinistic, sexist, woman hating pigs who obviously have their perverted little minds so preoccupied with pornographic depiction of the female form that when they see breast all they think is 'wank object'. They have missed the crucial fact that breasts are primarily meant for feeding babies. The assistant visably paled at this, more so when i informed him that if anyone wanted me to stop they would have to call the police to have me moved. Of course i would then naturally inform the papers etc... He meekly said that he though feeding was great and could he fetch me anything a drink perhaps

TBH, I do feed in a discreet fashion but a part of me would love some idiot loser to challenge me. That would be sport to me! This is one topic i feel passionate about, can you tell!

chattermouse you probably began feeding dd3 when this thread was started.

This topic sends me fucking mental! And yes, you're right, she is feeding right now!

There are very few public places where I have paused before deciding to bf and a library definitely isn't one of them.

Having said, I do think it is a little off to use the cushions. Your babe/you will inevitably spill a little milk which is not great. I am sure the cushions are quite filthy already (which is probably why I wouldn't want to use them in any case) but I am not sure that is the point. I would have put a muslin over the cushion to try to avoid any spillages and DC picking up anything nasty from them.

In any event, nasty old librarian was being nasty indeed. YANBU.

YANBU, I hope that you gave that old biddy a piece of your mind, well i would in a polite way of course

But she didn´t actually tell you you couldn´t breastfeed, did she?

So what happened? Did you complain? I hope so.