To not want to spend my birthday with MIL

[badbadday]

My birthday this year falls on a weekday when MIL is due to come to our house to see DS and the DSC (don't live with us but are with us every other weekend and one afternoon/early evening each week). She comes roughly every other week on a Thursday for this purpose, but as she is on holiday, will not have been for a couple of weeks and so would be due to come on my birthday (she stays for around 4 hours, so basically most of the evening)

I work weekdays but would like to be able to come home and either have a nice meal in the house, or pop out for a meal with DH and children.

So ideally it would be better if MIL didn't come on my birthday. The reason I'm hesitating is that I generally find her a complete pain (won't go into it now but she is in passive agressive territory) and so I would be dreading my birthday instead of looking forward to it if she was in my house when I got home. I had thought of meeting a friend for dinner instead, but that way I wouldn't get to see DS and so don't want to do this

If MIL wasn't to come on my birthday, she could obviously come the following week when the DSC are there

Glad you'll have an MIL free birthday. I feel really glad that neither of my husbands were into regular relly visiting and none of my friends seem to do it either, mind you most of us went to university and then moved away from our parents, as did our spouses so the option of regular relly visiting isn't really there.
I would hate to have a regular committment to visiting anyone or being visited by anyone apart from the children. I suppose once its started its harder to stop this sort of thing, but if you don't stop it sometime you're stuck with it for life, although in this scenario as the kids get older they won't want to be bothered with granny and will need more help with homework or want to chat to friends/meet up with friends so the granny visiting will become more tricky and probably fade out as my secondary school kids get alot of homework and often have early evening activities and I really wouldn't be wanting to entertain an elderly relative on a school night.

Florence - could you point out where I've 'whinged' about her Thurs visits? It doesn't look like you've read the thread at all. I shared with others examples of where she has been particularly insulting towards me, or when she has taken no interest in the children, but I really don't see where I have whinged about the fact that she does visit

As for MIL bashers, I just don't see who on this thread has done this. People share stories about many people in life who annoy or upset them - work colleagues, managers, neighbours, sisters, brothers, aunts, friends, etc, so when the comments are about someone who is a MIL, why is is 'bashing'??

Florence and as for her having a 'right' so see the children cos she's their GM, I never said she didn't. However, does your MIL-tolerance extend to thinking it's acceptable to tell DS I'm neglecting him by going to work every day? Does she have a right to speak in this way about me because she is his GM?

Did you hear her say that? If so you should have put her straight.

Yes I heard it, she said it in front of me, DS, DSC and DH. I did put her straight. Unfortunately though she has skin as thick as a rhinocerous (sp?) and very little sense or tact. A very difficult woman to like indeed imo