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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want a 15 year old girl I don't know at all to stay at my house for three weeks?

66 replies

emkana · 01/03/2009 23:46

My aunt phoned me from Germany - she has a friend who has a daughter who would like to come to the UK to improve her English... so aunt thought of me... [sigh]

aibu to not want some teenager moping around my house for three weeks?

OP posts:

DesperateHousewifeToo · 02/03/2009 15:58

Emkana, lots of people on here say they have an 'open house' fro guests. She could go and stay with one of them

Just make sure Trevor Macdonald is not around

Original poster

emkana · 02/03/2009 16:12

OP posts:

deste · 02/03/2009 16:45

We were asked by a German swimming club if we would do a swop for a week, their lot for ours. It was an absolute nightmare. They were very immature, they were greedy and did not appreciate anything we did for them. We took them on trips to Edinburgh, into the Highlands of Scotland etc and they would not even come out of the cars. The only time ours spoke was the day he was leaving. Some of them went back with the same amount of spending money they came with. They were up to every trick in the book to keep their money, ie handing over a pile of postcards (no stamps) and asking if you could post them for them. If you stopped outside a shop, they would spot a bakers shop or sweet shop and sit their saying yum yum yum. I told them to feel free about going into the shop if they wanted but they never did. Dont do it. Needless to say our lot never did go back. It was the longest week of my life.

We did have an Austrian exchange student and that was slightly better, at least he spoke. The person who said that would only be the first was probably right. We had the whole of a Dutch family for years. I think they took it in turns to come over. The older one worked for KLM and bragged that he got cheap flights to Scotland and regularly came over to buy cheap CD's with a friend. Again they never offered to pay for anything, even if they went to the pub.

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 16:51

don't think I would have liked to spend 3 weeks with a family I didn't know when I was 15, however they lovely they were. If you feel uncomfortable refusing outright, could you suggest a shorter stay - say one week?

twoluvlykids · 02/03/2009 17:02

Last summer I had lots of European teenagers staying, however, they were out at school (well, more of a daytime youth club really) for 6 days out of 7. So we had to entertain/feed them in the evenings and on Sundays.

It was mostly OK, and the Germans were lovely. (Apart from eating lots!) And I was well paid for it.

I'm doing it again this year (but a bit reluctantly), starting later this month, so expect lots of posts from me starting "Arrrrrggggggghhhhhh!".

Up to you - it might be better if your visitor was out at school/on trips.

gscrym · 02/03/2009 17:04

My mum has yet to forgive me for the french girl I inflicted on her for 2 and a half weeks. I was working so she took time off to entertain her during the day. She was stroppy and totally disinterested. She was also a complete bitch to me when I stayed there (which was before she came here).

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 17:07

hmm you can kind of understand why mums might want their dc to go overseas somewhere for 3 weeks as a teenager reading that!

brimfull · 02/03/2009 17:07

I'd say yes but I am geared up for teenagers.

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 17:08

Does this 15 year old have a younger sister who might make a good penpal for your oldest dd?

brimfull · 02/03/2009 17:11

tell them to bring their laptop
stick them in the spare room
lock the door and throw food in occassionally

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 17:22

that sounds like fun
not

I don't know some leggy moody young person mooning around your home for 3 weeks at a loose end doesn't sound like a recipe for success.

Ok if she is at some language school or doing some course or other in the day maybe. More I think about it, the more I am finding 3 weeks a LONG time

kingfix · 02/03/2009 17:23

three weeks sounds like a lot. We have had (vaguely related) teens for up to 10 days, which has sometimes been wonderful, sometimes trying and always in the name of paying a bit back as I have been welcomed by many friends and relations over the years, despite being (in retrospect) a bit of a moper myself.
As a teen, the best scenarios were when I worked e.g. in a shop, on a campsite, on a farm, rather than just stayed in the hosue and tried to be polite.
As a host (and sorry to parents of delightful teens) 14-15 has been the worst age to have as they really need friends of their own age and hanging around with a middle-aged lady and some toddlers is no fun, even with trips, shopping expeditions and free access to the internet and lovefilm. Last summer the girl spend the whole time texting and MSN-ing.

So my advice is - feel free to say no as you're under no obligation and a resentful host just makes the child feel miserable. Or give it a go, but maybe for a shorter time.

francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2009 17:23

I used to come to the UK over the summer to learn English in my teens.
At 14 I spent 3 weeks in Penzance and got bullied by my landlord's 7 yrs old son

ZZZen · 02/03/2009 17:23

I will have a bunch of leggy, moody Australian teenage nieces mooning about my place before too long so I am really envisioning that I think.

Actually since they are my family , I am quite looking forward to that.

Original poster

emkana · 02/03/2009 19:14

middle-aged? Who are you calling middle-aged?

OP posts:

kingfix · 02/03/2009 19:16

ah sorry, speaking for myself there. Although to a 14 yr old, over 20 seems pretty creaky...

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