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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be shocked at my DD being taught multiplication by using pretend shooting with finger guns

111 replies

MrsPurple · 01/03/2009 22:47

My DD1,who is 5 and in year 1, was teaching me how they do ten times table at school and she said they play shoot out with their fingers as guns.

I asked her to show me and she pointed (fingers as gun) at me asked a question related to ten times table and who ever didn't answer got shot .

In this day and age with all the gun crime, AIBU to be upset about this?

We have always tried to instill go values in our children,but this has shocked me. I want to go and talk to the teacher about it, but don't want to look too over protective. I think IMO it is wrong to use this style of teaching, but wondered what others thoughts are on this, or is it a standard teaching practice?

OP posts:

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:03

It isn't rubbish at all, peer pressure and how what they learn means a lot, especially as they spend more time there than at home awake.

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:04

The shooting is enough on its own hobbgolin.

I've said my opinion anyway, no point riding the merry go round again is there.

Original poster

MrsPurple · 02/03/2009 01:05

Not sure tbh, DD played game with me and DH (who was equally shocked), and said Bang you got it wrong you're out.

I just thing the teacher hasn't thought and could perhaps use shoot out penalties for football as a better alternative.

Was hiding due to the discussion getting a bit heated?

OP posts:

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:05

well mine don't. they spend 6.25 hours at school, 5 days a week, total of 31.25 hours. Home is about 6 hours on a weekday night, and 12 hours on weekends, total of 54 hours.

Peer pressure is always there. But you teach your children how to cope with it. It's part of being a parent.

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:05

Plus holidays are 100% at home - for 13 weeks of the year.

Original poster

MrsPurple · 02/03/2009 01:06

Please don't get me started on peer pressure.No one gives us parents lesson on how to deal with these things.

OP posts:

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 01:07

If you extrapolate the hypothesis that if we don't teach children about guns/mention guns/let them see guns then they will not shoot guns then that means we can avoid all unpleasantness by banning, erm, well all unpleasantness really!

This is why I had a Victorian collar (from the vets) attached to each of my children at the waist when born so that they would never know what a willy or a fanjo looked like and thus never do anything unpleasant or unfortunate with either. They don't watch sex on TV and I lock the bathroom door and ban them from sex ed in school. Am hoping it will work.

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:07

Well I'm assuming the working people. I'm a sahm so mine are with me all the time other than when they're at school. They still spend a large amount of time at school though and no matter how you think yours won't bend to peer pressure, I bet most do. Not to the gun crime extent but I think all children do in one way or another.

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:08

MrsP - absolutely, we all muddle along as best we can. Peer pressure can be a real bugger. But so far my kids are fine with it - they all take the line that 'different people like different things' and they can understand that. And I think it helps that there are 3 of them, so they feel they are a big enough 'unit' to not be isolated if they like different things from their friends.

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:11

hobbgoblin how adult of you, sarcasm doesn't become you. I teach my children about sex and answer any questions they ask, my dd asked me when she was 6, I didn't like and tell her shit about the "stalk" as a copout. Sex is better than violence at least, I was brought up in a violent place and was around it a lot being in East London it was a given really. I don't want my children being the same so I moved to Cambridge. I was a lot different then to what I am now, I wouldn't talk about problems, I dealt with them in other ways, but I teach mine to do that.

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:12

Ok, taking peer pressure as an example Jodie. Just supposing, later on, a child realised that one of their friends was getting mixed up in a gang that, say, used guns. If the parents had always been 'Oh no, guns, how terrible' then the child might actually be intimidated into NOT talking to their parents. Whereas if they were fairly open about guns, didn't recoil in horror, but were clear that 'real guns were bad' then perhaps the child would be able to speak about it.

And perhaps that child would escape getting mixed up in gun crime. obviously it depends on the child, the situation, the parents, the friends. But my ethos is that I want to be approachable about anything, so that I can help with their problems. And perhaps if my child remembered me blasting into school to complain about the teacher using a pretend 'finger gun' then they might think twice about asking for help in a more real situation.

MrsP - I know you weren't suggesting 'blasting into school' - I think a quiet word is fine . Didn't want you to feel got at!

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:12

Lily I agree, mine are the same, I also have 3, one not yet in school though but they have lots of confidence and know that I will be there for them no matter what and through everything to they feel happy being themselves and being happy, helpful and friendly.

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:13

My little one isn't at school yet either jodie, but is very much 'one of the pack'.

thirtypence · 02/03/2009 01:13

If she came home and demonstrated the game it suggests that she enjoyed it and it helped her learn her tables.

The teacher has taught them the game now. They probably play it in the playground. I'm not sure that you can stop it.

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:14

lily I'm also approachable about anything, they know that as we talk about whatever they want. Guns aren't something taboo, it's just not something I want them doing in school.

Original poster

MrsPurple · 02/03/2009 01:14

as my DD (age 5) is my eldest she has had a bit of a rough ride as her best friend is very dominent and confident, to the point where she calls my DD stupid when she gets something wrong on class. Having had numerous days of tears and hysterics about not wanting to go to school etc, I have spoke to teacher, who has alleviated the situation.

both DD and friend now playing happy again.

This is why I am abit nervous about speaking to the teacher as she is lovely and will help with any situation,however as a family we do have strong fews re guns etc and I feel our family ethics etc are being compromised by the teaching aids discussed (god I need a soap box .

I knew it would hard when my DD started school, but I thought the school and parents should work together and have similar values - so some of the things I have heard of late have disturbed me/annoyed me/upset me.

I will have a word with my DD teacher tomorrow and let you all know how it went.

OP posts:

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 01:15

JodieO, I don't mean to be mean exactly but your line about moving to Cambridge is quite classic.

Please indulge me in my sarcasm, I have had a crapper than crap day and though I believe in my opinion on this subject I really cannot do better than toungue in cheek counter argument.

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:15

Good luck tomorrow Mrsp

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:16

My youngest is 2 and he tells the older two what to do half the time hehe, he has a very strong personality, but just like my others too. My ds1 is 5 and dd 7, they are lovely children and always talk to me about things that bother them, even the just 2 year old, he has such good language I think because we are all always talking lol.

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:17

My ds1 is 7, dd 5, ds2 is 2, nearly 3. I talk to him all the time too, but he has a severe speech delay atm

LilyBolero · 02/03/2009 01:18

However, he can say To-Who which is Dr Who. And very important for boys!

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:18

hobbgoblin I'm typical working class east end and a single mum now if that makes you feel any better, I moved here when I was with h still to get out of london for the kids. Don't envy me or feel anything bad, I've had a shit life that I wouldn't wish on anyone, I've only really been happy with my kids and only for me personally for the past months. Not playing pity card, can't be arsed with that, just trying to put it in perspective for you.

Original poster

MrsPurple · 02/03/2009 01:23

Thanks Lily and everyone for views,willlet you know tomorrow what teacher says.

Hobb -tomorrow is another day (I hope it's not as crap for you)

OP posts:

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 01:23

JodieO, having a bad time makes all of us defensive of our beliefs I think. Without them we'd be a bit lost tbh. We are both on a DV thread tonight I believe so please don't think I am anything but sisterly to anyone here despite differences in opinion.

I'm more likely to be sarcastic when I'm low myself, as I am tonight as I can't take head on confrontation when vulnerable, but I still enjoy the debate.

JodieO · 02/03/2009 01:25

Lily sorry didn't mean to be insensitive, didn't know, I'm sure they'll all end up the same Has to just go up to ds2, sounds like he's getting ill.

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