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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it should be up to dd whether she wants to wear underwear at night?

70 replies

emkana · 01/03/2009 19:41

dd1 went away over the weekend with a group. She was told by the leader of the group that she had to take her underwear off at night and just wear her pyjamas, even though that's not what she's used to doing at home. aibu to think that it should be up to dd?

(btw I am not going to complain )

OP posts:

kitkatqueen · 02/03/2009 00:47

in my opinion obviously your daughter should be allowed to wear knickers in bed if she wants to. I realise that the organiser probably wanted to make sure that all of her charges had changed their underwear every 24 hrs, but I also think a 7 yr old should be believed when she says they are clean and allowed to wear them if she wishes. Also don't think she should be alowed to make a child get changed in front of the other kids which it sounds like she did, there were girls at my school who would have been distraught as they were very private individuals.

No it wasn't a convent but on trips we were allowed to get changed in the loo's if we wanted.

Desiderata · 02/03/2009 00:51

I don't know what I think, really.

I must admit, it would never occur to me to wear pants in bed. My son certainly doesn't. I mean, he's been wearing them all day.

At some point, she's going to get out of the habit of wearing pants to bed, hopefully. Maybe this is just a learning curve, meted out by another adult?

herbietea · 02/03/2009 00:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 02/03/2009 00:59

i love pants and silky camisoles that match my pants and silky PJ sets and anyone who wanted me to give them up and go naked in bed soon found himself out on his kiester.

i wear what i want in bed and if others feel differently, well, it's their body they do whatever the hell they please.

sorry but i'd be a bit about a 'leader' who ordered little kids to take their underwear off at night.

piscesmoon · 02/03/2009 07:43

It is getting away from the argument but just curious-do those of you who wear knickers in bed wear the ones you have had on all day or clean ones? It all seems a bit odd to me. I think if DCs are away they should do what they normally do, but I think perhaps it was the leaders way of making sure they changed their underwear and didn't wear the same all week.

ChippingIn · 02/03/2009 08:31

I'd be a bit at my 7 yo being told what to do regarding her knickers, but then that's probably just a knee jerk reaction to keeping LO's safe (worried about why/how they'd know/care about DD's knickers). Having said that, I guess if you trust them enough to look after them in that situation then that's probably an over-reaction. It's hard on LO's being told to do something differently than what they do at home, especially something personal, but from what you've said she wasn't upset just amused/confused! I think it was as others have said, either their personal beliefs (needs airing dear) or to up the chances they all wore clean knickers the next day!

I either wear knickers and a long t-shirt or my birthday suit. I prefer the birthday suit, but getting up to the kids it's easier to wear tshirt & knickers. I like PJ's but cannot sleep in them (I hate the way they twist and get 'left behind' when you turn over) if it's really, really cold, then I'll wear lycra leggings.

LO(3) wears knickers under a nightie as otherwise all and sundry get flashed her bits!! But not under her PJ's. Both girls have a bath every night.

No need for the odd looks from everyone on opposite camps though ladies!! Each to their own

piscesmoon - depends, often I'll have a (2nd) shower before bed so then I'll wear clean ones, but if just getting into bed, then the ones I have on. Sounds manky when you put it like that but I do shower every morning.

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 02/03/2009 08:44

The reason why you have to take jewelry, and anything containing metal off for an op. is because diathermy is used to control bleeding, diathermy is an electrical current that is passed through diathermy forceps to a bleeding point. Before the operation starts a sticky pad will be applied to you to "earth" you for want of a better term. If your skin is in contact with any other metal, the current could could cause a burn at the point of contact, and that's why. [grin}

As you were.

DD wears her underwear at night, but they are a clean pair.

Bathsheba · 02/03/2009 09:34

Maybe I sleep really strangely - my knees are clamped together (no idea how I've got 2 children) and I'm wrapped up very tightly in a duvet...there is no air circulating around my bits...

There is probably more air today with a shortish shirt, tights and knickers on than there ever is at night in my bits area.!!

I'd speak to the leaders in a non confrontational way - good chance it was just to ensure clean knickers were on the mext morning

littlelamb · 02/03/2009 09:43

Boiled egg- I found the sticky pad on my side a few days later in the shower. Which was a bit of a shock as I had had two showers since my operation and not found it It had a press stud and everything. I pity the fool who had to take off my bra Serves me right for being stubborn I suppose.

FannyWaglour · 02/03/2009 09:49

I am in total shock at all the people who would put their bare fanjos into pjs at night!

Do you put your pjs in the dirty linen basket every morning, then?

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 02/03/2009 09:52

Littlelamb- that was probably an ECG electrode as they have the press stud top. The diathermy pad is about 10 x 20 cm, and usually on the top of your thigh and quite difficult to over look. It should also have been removed prior to you leaving the theatre, the skin under it is checked by your scrub nurse to make sure there have been no allergic reactions etc.

Gosh, I need get out more don't I ?

mm22bys · 02/03/2009 10:04

That's weird, why would the leader of the group even have any knowledge of what she's wearing?

kitkatqueen · 02/03/2009 14:27

herbietea Cheap ones from asda!! LOL!!!

womblingfree · 02/03/2009 15:26

PMSL at pooka's '"air" ones creases '

When I saw post I thought the leader was going to make her put knick's on!

I would probably mention in it a 'by the way' kind of context, just for your own peace of mind. It may be that it's a case of wires crossed?

NewTeacher · 02/03/2009 15:32

Erm does that mean you change your PJ's everyday????

I mean if you think that knickers are dirty after one days wear then wouldnt Pj'S BE DIRTY AFTER ONE NIGHTS WEAR? (oops on caps lock!)

Confoooooosed....

jangly · 02/03/2009 15:36

In groups such as Brownies it has always been traditional to teach amongst other "health" things, personal hygiene. I would think this is what the leader was doing.

2rebecca · 04/03/2009 17:57

PJs are much looser than pants though, well mine are and I've never had a front wedgie, so no not washed nightly although often I'm naked anyway.
Do all these women who wear knickers under pyjamas expect their blokes to do likewise? I'm not a big fan of adult men wearing pyjamas in bed anyway, but if a bloke put pants on under his pyjamas I would be seriously worried. It does suggest an obsession with covering up your private parts, or a bit of a cleanliness obsession.
My bloke probably wouldn't be happy if I wore pants under pyjamas/nighties, he moans enough if I wear anything, but its usually because I get colder than him. He'd think I'd gone off sex if I had 2 layers to get through!

lljkk · 04/03/2009 18:34

I thought the unwrapping was part of the fun, 2rebecca?

You guys are very very weird. Who cares if it's someone personal preference or not to wear pants in bed? How can some people be so opinionated about what other people wear in bed???

DS caught worms recently (yuck, yuck). Wearing pants is an important part of preventing them spreading!!!

notevenamousie · 04/03/2009 18:42

The no metal in theatre is for the diathermy. They use lots of diathermy during a tonsillectomy to stop you bleeding, you could potentially end up with burns along your underwires!

And very bizarre that the leader was interested in what your dd wore to bed... I wear underwear to save washing pyjamas every night, personally, but it's cold in my bed (on my own) so maybe that plays a part!

littlelamb · 04/03/2009 18:48

notevenamousie, do you know what is worse? (I have been thniking about this more than I should over the last few days- can you tell???) They took the bra off- fine. It is the fact that they put it back on that me a bit It's all a big conspiracy....

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