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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your mother-in law do this? Or is mine just plain weird!!

74 replies

kelsuprise · 27/02/2009 12:25

My Mother-in Law sends cards (bithday, Fathers Day, Valentine, Xmas) to my DH from OUR DAUGHTER! Now I have lots of fun choosing cards for my DH from our DS (2 yrs old) but then it is really ruined by her doing the same! Am I being possessive or should this really be mine and my daughters thing to do and not hers??

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 12:56

Could you tell her a couple of weeks before father's day that your DS has chosen a card for his dad so please don't send another? My DS is two and I get him to help choose cards. Lots of people get a card with trains on...

purplemonkeydishwasher · 27/02/2009 12:57

you know what the weirdest thing is? that she only does it for your DH. now if she did it for YOU i could almost understand that because men are thick notoriously forgetful when it comes to that sort of thing.

nut-ter.

wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 12:57

Is/was your DH a mummy's boy?

EmmaBridgewater956 · 27/02/2009 12:57

What about saying a couple of weeks before next ocassion extremely nicely 'just so you don't go to any trouble I thought I would let you know that DD is fingerpainting her own cards this year'..... even if it means you have to wedge her little hand in the paint pot....

How odd they are.

Original poster
kelsuprise · 27/02/2009 12:59

Purple monkey- you hit the nail on the head there!! The fact she onle does it for him is a bit weird eh?? I'm sure some of the intention is just to wind me up!!

OP posts:
nailpolish · 27/02/2009 12:59

AHA

there we have the reasohn

she is trying to wind you up

nip this in the bud

mayorquimby · 27/02/2009 13:00

yes it's weird.7
but is it really worth starting a fight or hurting feelings over (no matter how small the fight or amount of hurt caused?)
surely it's just easier to appreciate she's doing it from a good place,obviously makes her happy and can easily nbe ignored by you.

Homebird8 · 27/02/2009 13:01

My MIL send cards from her mother to DH. Thankfully they did stop when GMIL died!

(He also used to get one from GMIL directly too which was very much valued)

nailpolish · 27/02/2009 13:02

but when will she stop? when dd is old enough to tell her herself?

do you buy a card from your dd too? therefore dh gets 2 cards from your dd every birthda and xmas?

WEIRD

Original poster
kelsuprise · 27/02/2009 13:07

I buy cards as well- so does look really weird, I agree. I really like choosing and writing cards with MY daughter, I know she prob likes it as well, but she's had her chance with her own son when he was small. Now it feels like it's petty!!

OP posts:
ohdearwhatamess · 27/02/2009 13:10

Very, very odd

squeaver · 27/02/2009 13:10

My mother sends us a "Happy Christmas Mummy and Daddy" from our dd. And an Easter one.

squeaver · 27/02/2009 13:10

She loves buying cards.

Original poster
kelsuprise · 27/02/2009 13:12

Squeaver- do you send your DH a card at xmas from your DD? How do you feel about your mum doing this?

OP posts:
purplemonkeydishwasher · 27/02/2009 13:12

but squeaver that's to BOTH of you. so it kind of makes sense.

Flier · 27/02/2009 13:16

Op - next time you speak to her mention that your dd has made dh a lovely card for fathers day. Don't mention her cards to her,let her waste her money

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 27/02/2009 13:16

my MIL does this too, very annoying. DH has had many a word but she still cant seem to resist.

and yes she is a fruitloop

LittleOtik · 27/02/2009 13:16

IMHO it's weird, and it's funny, and not worth upsetting your MIL about - I'd let her get on with it and laugh about it.

My MIL doesn't do this but it is exactly the sort of thing she might do. She's great, a bit scary and completely bananas.

Divineintervention · 27/02/2009 13:22

Ah she just can't seperate it can she? What a PITA.

squeaver · 27/02/2009 13:29

Sorry, to be clear, neither my mother nor my MIL would ever send a card to their respective children (me or dh) from my dd.

I don't mind my mother sending the ones to me and dh. Like I say, she loves sending cards. It's probably her favourite hobby, apart from going to funerals.

Now dd can make ger own cards however, she does find it a bit odd but also indulges her.

Original poster
kelsuprise · 27/02/2009 13:48

I think I shall talk to her before Easter (the next card buying opp!!) and tell her that myself and DD will be making cards, so not to send them. I imagine she will be peeved- but she normally is (like when she stormed out of our house in brighton to get a train back up north on Xmas Eve. She was apparently being ostracised (sp?)...my DD was 10 days old, so I prob wasn't too caught up with making her cups of tea!!!!!) Oh that felt good to get it off my chest!! Sorry for rant mumsnetters!!

OP posts:
JemL · 27/02/2009 13:51

It is weird. My mum gives DH and I a Mummy and Daddy card from DS at Christmas and on our wedding anniversary, but would never dream of doing that!!

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 14:00

She sounds incredibly childish, kelsurprise. What a PITA.

Original poster
kelsuprise · 27/02/2009 14:03

A total,PITA Mrs MH. A lesson for me in patience and humility!!!

OP posts:
MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 14:05

I'm now worrying that my MIL may get this idea into her head as DS gets older...please god, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!