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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To introduce a dog into the family while CMing.

90 replies

Shoshe · 26/02/2009 12:44

As some of you know, i was giving up CMing this year and going back into the outside work force.

plans have now changed, and I am carrying on for another two years.

DH has always wanted a dog, but while he was away most of the time I had said no.

Now he will be home all the time, we had thought of getting a dog. A staffie.

But with strict restrictions.

The dog was to be kept in a outside kennel within a fenced off area so that the children could not get within touching distance, while the children were here.

A Lot of the time the dog would be going to work with DH, although as he will be working shifts, there would be times that the dog would be in the kennel.

I have now put out a news letter to all my existing parents, all the feedback is negative.

Even if we changed the bred of dog.

The Dog would NEVER be with the children.

Would you send your child to a CM who has a dog, even tho the dog is securely locked away?

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 12:47

Is it fair on the dog to keep it locked outside? I'm not sure that you would be bringing a dog into the right sort of environment.

Alambil · 26/02/2009 12:47

My CM has two dogs that are in contact; they are lovely and very, very well trained (my only stipulation)

Would you train the dog? (from 12 weeks right through it's adolescence at around 6months? obedience AND socialisation, not just a pup course from the vet type training?)

If yes, I don't think I'd have an issue. If no, I'd be removing my child... I don't trust any untrained dog (and even then trained dog's trust is not 100%)

Alambil · 26/02/2009 12:48

if it's a puppy and only ever been outside, it'll get used to it wot - the UK are one of the few countries worldwide that allows dogs in the family home tbh...

If it was warm enough etc (which I'm sure it would be) it'll be fine

wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 12:49

I would feel sorry for it, but I'm a softie where dogs, especially, Staffies, are concerned.

Helium · 26/02/2009 12:51

It would put me off to be honest.

AitchTwoOh · 26/02/2009 12:51

i wouldn't want a childminder with a dog, full stop.

fryalot · 26/02/2009 12:52

It wouldn't necessarily be a consideration when I was looking for a CM as long as I could see that the dog was securely housed away from any accidental contact with my children, and I could see that the dog was well looked after and friendly.

BUT... I think I would have an issue if my non-dog-owning CM got a dog. Don't know why.

Also, if you have put the feelers out amongst your mindees' parents and had negative feedback, you have to listen to that.

There's little point in asking for opinions when you are going to ignore them and do what you want anyway.

(iykwim)

wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 12:52

Actually, even though I have two dogs, I wouldn't be happy to use a CM with a dog.

Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 12:53

yes DH will actually be on Termination lave from end of March till beginning of October from the Army, before joining the Army Guard service, so will be around a lot (god help me) so the dog will be trained as well as going to classes.

The thing is, one of the parents I have had the worst feedback from, is a child I previously had, who will be coming back with new baby (who will be 10 months by then). Parents didn't want to send children anywhere else, and was very upset with the thought of me retiring.

They are really not happy.

The dog will not spend nights outside, she will go out before the children come (if not already gone to work with DH, when he starts new job) and come in when children have gone home.

OP posts:
KerryMumbles · 26/02/2009 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop · 26/02/2009 12:56

My personal concern would be more about the allergy side of things than general safety. Two of my children have asthma and the nurse has advised us not to have pets with fur yet just in case.

Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 12:57

I am taking on board what is being said, I suppose I rather naively thought as long as the dog was secured away from the children (unlike the dog next door that runs up and down the boundary fence barking and yapping, that parents would not have such a issue with it.

So now how do I tell DH he cant have his dog!

H is away at the moment for 6 weeks and will have to phone him tonight.

OP posts:
thefunkypea · 26/02/2009 13:01

I started a thread a couple of days ago because my CM suddenly bought a dog without any advanced warning, and I was pretty upset about it. My dh spoke to our CM in the morning and spelled out calmly all our concerns, and I followed that up in the evening. The situation for us I think is different on two scores - one because the dog was sharing the same space as the children, but two, it's a shitzu and not a staffie, so different perceptions maybe. I even went to look at a nursery yesterday.

However, I think our CM took our concerns on board and the dog's cage and food bowls have been moved out of the kitchen, and i do think that she is taking the supervision element seriously, eg when we're dropping off and picking up, the dog is elsewhere in the house because the CM couldn't keep an eye on the dog in those circumstances. Also trips out are continuing, which I worried wouldn't be because the puppy couldn't be left alone.

I'm now choosing to monitor the situation, and if things continue this way, then it will be fine.

Can you talk to the parents individually, and answer their concerns directly? That worked for us.

unpaidworker · 26/02/2009 13:04

My child would be out the door.........

Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 13:05

Funky, I Put out a newsletter last night just to get the feed back, with the plans for the garden, the kennel and such.

This was precisely to get the feedback before getting a dog.

must admit didn't think it would be quite so negative.

The supervisory issue was my main concern hence the outside kennel.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 13:05

Does someone want to ring my DH for me please.

OP posts:
Geepers · 26/02/2009 13:07

I wouldn't use a childminder with a dog, but to be honest I'd worry more about a childminder with a dog that has no contact with children, than one who has a dog but is socialised with them. Does that make sense?

I think I'd always worry about the dog's reaction to the children should
they accidently get together if they aren't used to one another. Also, I wouldn't like my child to think a dog's place is outside in a kennel. I firmly believe that dog's should be a part of the family and not outdoor animals.

thefunkypea · 26/02/2009 13:13

But Shoshe, what I meant was to go beyond the newsletter, and try to speak on a one-to-one basis. The knee-jerk reaction is, as you've experienced, almost certainly going to be negative. By sending a newsletter, which is a grown-up thing to do, parents will latch onto all the perceived negative aspects and fret and worry, which is exactly what I did. One of the reasons your parents probably chose you is because you don't have a dog. At least if any of the concerns are more on the irrational side, and you have good answers, maybe you can talk them round and reassure them. But on the flip side, if any of the parents have good and valid points that cause you to reconsider, it might make it easier to break the bad news to your dh...

KerryMumbles · 26/02/2009 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeLindt · 26/02/2009 13:19

I would not mind a childminder having a dog but tbh, would not send them to a CM with a staffie.

I know that the breed of dog is not the problem, the training is but if my dog (a ridiculously twee "handbag dog") were to bite someone, you could give her a good hard kick and she would be off. I don't believe this would be the case with a staffie, they are much stronger.

I would feel the same about other larger dogs, not just Staffies.

Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 13:21

I have spoken to the parents this morning as well Funky, taking them int the garden and explaining where and how the kennel will be secure.

i think DH will have to wait. Unfortunately.

He is a brilliant DH, and does a lot for and with the mindees, including being dragged with us swimming if I haven't got enough adults, does most of the cooking for them, and is quite often to be found dressed up in the dressing up clothes, and I did so want to give him something back.

OP posts:
thefunkypea · 26/02/2009 13:24

But giving something back - does it have to be a dog? What about a large butch rabbit ?

Hassled · 26/02/2009 13:27

If he's hard to persuade, show him this thread. I'm another with the view that I wouldn't use a CM with a dog. I'm just deeply uncomfortable around dogs, which I know is irrational - but it's very common.

Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 13:27

dont think that would be quite the same thing, anyway we had a rabbit had to get rid of it cos it kept biting me!

We do have to Rats which I took a long time to give in to having.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoshe · 26/02/2009 13:30

hassled I am, he is on line where h is so going o link it to him later, cant get hold of him at the moment.

I suppose I can see every ones views a lot more than he will as I am not a animal lover, and to be honest would never get any animal if it was just me.

He is a very reasonable man tho, so I don't think he will be angry (have never seen DH angry to be honest) just very disappointed.

OP posts:
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