Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to be furious at my friend

43 replies

PippaP · 24/02/2009 20:08

My friend has a 9 week old daughter and she insists on my DD (2 years) washing her hands before coming near her. And today told her - after she had made her wash her hands - that she could only look at her baby and not touch. This is because my daughter has a "cold" - she has a slight runny nose that most 2 year olds seem to have almost constantly.

OP posts:

ilovetochat · 24/02/2009 20:11

yabu, i always wash my hands before touching a newborn.
my dd is 19 months and touches the floor, dirt, picks her nose, normal toddler stuff, i would wash her hands before touching a newborn, even if its more for the mothers sake than the babys.
i wouldn't have wanted anyone with a snotty nose touching dd when she was a baby.

ConnorTraceptive · 24/02/2009 20:11

Well yes your friend is being a bit precious but then so are you a little. A two year isn't going to be offended by hand washing requests

compo · 24/02/2009 20:12

aw bless her
if you want to stay friends just bite your tongue
you can laugh about it when she has no2 and her PFB has her hands all over the new baby

Spidermama · 24/02/2009 20:13

Your friend is mad, precious and attempting to wrap her baby in cotton wool. I would indeed be offended and I think its very rude towards your dd treating her like some kind of pariah.

I would give this friend a wide birth until she's calmed way the hell down.

CrushWithEyeliner · 24/02/2009 20:13

YAB totally U why are you furious at her ffs

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 24/02/2009 20:14

I think furious is a litle over the top. I can see where your friend is coming from (and am assuming it's her first child) so I think YAB(a little)U

stuffitllama · 24/02/2009 20:15

yab a bit u but look out for your friend

she's not feeling a bit down is she?

MadameCastafiore · 24/02/2009 20:15

2 year olds have vile little sticky hands as they touch everything and are always sticking their paws in their mouthes - really can you think of nothing else that makes you FURIOUS?

And if my kid had a hint of a cold I would certainly be decent enough not to take it round her house where a new baby is.

Fireflyer · 24/02/2009 20:18

Thanks MadameCastafiore but SHE came to my house so I could make HER pancakes, apparently they make too much mess for her house!

LilyBolero · 24/02/2009 20:22

She is being a bit PFB, and a bit obsessive. You are being a bit intolerant, and also a bit PFBish about your dd!

Geepers · 24/02/2009 20:22

I wouldn't like a snotty 2 year old near my newborn to be honest, and I have had plenty of children. I don't like other children touching my babies either, clean hands or not.

Therefore I conclude YABU.

DogMa · 24/02/2009 20:24

Can't wait for that baby to eat poo from own nappy - your mate's gonna FREEEEEEEAK!

CrushWithEyeliner · 24/02/2009 20:35

She has a Newborn, not a toddler. I wouldn't dream of visiting with a cold and would always wash my hands and make DD wash her hands before coming into contact with such a young baby. This isn't about a baby growing older and "eating poo" although I have never known a child to do that. it is about being considerate and mindful of your friend who may be protective as we all are/ were over a newborn baby with little immunity.

myfunnynametaken · 24/02/2009 20:40

YABU - you should have asked your dd to wash her hands, not put your friend in a position where she had to ask her.

Wilkiepedia · 24/02/2009 20:40

YABU - my son ended up in hospital at 10 days old for three days having numerous tests after catching a virus from my DS's twins who had streaming colds and had been touching him.

I then wouldn't let anyone near him unless they were cold free and had washed their hands.

Respect her wishes - it will pass.

stuffitllama · 24/02/2009 20:40

.. you could remind her that younger children in families generally have less atopic disease.. thought to be due to the fact that older children spread their germs all over them..

or perhaps not

cory · 24/02/2009 20:42

But the baby is 9 weeks- that's not exactly newborn. I was travelling Europe with ds when he was 9 weeks and he was slightly prem at that. I really don't think you can count a child that's over 2 months as a newborn.

plonker · 24/02/2009 20:42

So you're furious about this?

Hmmm

Yes, she is being over-the-top and PFB but hey, its her baby.

I wouldn't be particularly happy with a poorly two-year old touching my 9 week old with snotty hands tbh. I can't see why its a problem just to wash them - this is your friend for goodness sake ...go with it!

And in any case, I actually agree with Crush - I wouldn't visit a friend and her newborn if my own dc have a cold - a cold for a newborn can be nasty business.

YABU

toddlerama · 24/02/2009 20:44

YABU. It's her baby and if she wants people to wash hands before they touch, then they should. Only she is responsible if the baby gets sick!

stuffitllama · 24/02/2009 20:45

if it's a nine-week old baby it's probably already been injected with formadehyde and aluminium sulphate

a two year old's clean hands will probably be alright

but I do think that sometimes being very very precious about a new baby can be an indicator of troubles, even PND? is she alright in all other ways?

psychomum5 · 24/02/2009 20:45

sorry, you are being a tad precious too IMVHO.

when one of my friends had her baby, and my eldest DD was 2, I always went over ONLY when I could leave DD1 with MIL or DH, as I felt it very infair on my friend to be subjected to a toddler when she had a newborn.

it did change as her baby grew of course, but until she stopped sterilising (at 6mths), I felt it only fair.

it doesn;t last for long you know, not really, in the grand scheme of things

plonker · 24/02/2009 20:45

Aww Cory, we're talking about 9 weeks old. Only been in this world for nine short weeks. 9 weeks is tiny and most certainly newborn in my book.

Ronaldinhio · 24/02/2009 20:45

Furious seems ott

Her baby her rules therefore yabu

Sidge · 24/02/2009 20:46

Well considering handwashing is the most effective way of preventing the spread of infection then YABU.

She is being a bit PFB but you are daft to be furious. If you're that furious don't see them.

spicemonster · 24/02/2009 20:46

there's no way on earth I'd want my 2 YO to touch someone else's precious newborn! He's disgusting! YABveryU

Flip

1 2