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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School competitions where the parents do all the work?

50 replies

StayOutOfTheLight · 24/02/2009 16:47

It really pisses me off when the school do competitions such as "easter bonnets" and "Easter Cards" etc and then the teachers go and choose a card which has blatently been made by a parent.

Last year there were rows of cards. Most of them obviously done by the kids themselves and a handful which had a very "professional" and adult appearance to them.

For the past 3 years, the same girl has won the prize and the easter egg. Her mother is a professional card maker and has even admitted to other parents that her kids have NO input in the cards whatsoever because she's frightened they'll "ruin" them.

So why on earth do the teachers always pick the cards that have been done by parents when its obvious?

OP posts:
unfitmother · 24/02/2009 16:52

That's pathetic!

Niftyblue · 24/02/2009 16:56

its so unfair
Hope they get it right this year

laweaselmys · 24/02/2009 17:00

I am assuming this is primary school and the difference between kids efforts (however talented) and adults is massive...

How stupid. What are they teaching the kids by rewarding parents who do their DCs work for them??

compo · 24/02/2009 17:01

I'd complain if the same person has won it 3 years in a row

loobeylou · 24/02/2009 17:59

I can't see this happening TBH - even if there was a pupil who was very talented at art and design, they would NOT let the same kid win every year, because it looks bad and discourages all the others

who judges? (staff or outside person who does not know the kids anyway)

another way round the problem would be to have a junior boy and junior girl, infant boy and infant girl - so 4 main winners

Niftyblue · 24/02/2009 18:02

Can`t they do in art class instead of it coming home to do
Thats what they started to do in our school because of past complainets from parents

spongebrainbigpants · 24/02/2009 18:16

We used to have this every year with the Easter bonnet competition and would always separate the ones that had obviously been done by the parents and just judge those that the kids had done - some of the parents must have thought we were born yesterday trying to pass off their creations as their kids! You should have seen some of the ones done by Y1 and 2 kids - they were works of art!

I think the school are totally out of order but I'm not sure how much would be gained by complaining. Could mention it in passing to your teacher and hopefully they will raise it in the staff room!

BalloonSlayer · 24/02/2009 18:45

My friend's DD made a wonderful creation one year, all by herself.

My friend was dismayed to overhear the teachers pointing to it and saying: "Well that one was obviously done by the mum." Her DD, needless to say, didn't win the prize and was upset that the one that won was clearly not as good as hers, on which she had worked so hard.

Can't please everyone...

wb · 24/02/2009 19:06

I once came second in a cake decorating competition when I was at first school. I can remember being very surprised at the time because it was apparent even to me that my cake wasn't as good as most of the others (a huge chocolate fort comes to mind). Years later my mum explained that my cake and the winners were the only ones that looked like they had been the work of a seven year old

So YANBU but am quite surprised at your school's attitude.

deste · 24/02/2009 19:42

You wonder what the teachers are thinking. My DD was at a local festival. The children had to write a poem. The girl who won had written ten verses in words and phrases only an adult could have written. The adjudicator raved about it and we were sitting thinking is this woman stupid. She then criticised a girls poem because it didn't rhyme properly and had the girl in tears. It was obvious she had had no help and had done it completely on her own. They were only eight and I bet that girl never ever wrote another poem. If it were now I would have said something to support the little girl who I felt so sorry for.

compo · 24/02/2009 19:44

I agree with loobylou, are you sure the same girl has won 3 years running?

Original poster
StayOutOfTheLight · 24/02/2009 19:56

Yes definately the same girl because I am friends with her mum and she likes to brag about it on the way home.

Its the same with school plays and concerts, why is it always the same kids that get the best parts year after year??

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 24/02/2009 20:00

I noticed that about school plays and concerts. When I ran music departments, I used to do a Cecil B De Mille and have a cast of thousands, and share the lead parts out properly, otherwise it's really mean IMO.

herbietea · 24/02/2009 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
StayOutOfTheLight · 24/02/2009 20:10

She does all her homework for her too and then beams when her DD gets merits for "getting it all right"

OP posts:
spongebrainbigpants · 24/02/2009 20:23

They're just not doing their kids any favours are they. It's so sad.

mamas12 · 24/02/2009 22:51

I absolutely hate this behaviour. It is so wrong on so many levels.
What is it teaching the children, that they are incompetant? And the parents who do this are just using their children as extentions of themselves, imo undermining their dcs efforts completely. It is not 'helping' them do their homework, it is no help at all to the child, in fact it stops the learning process. If these parents want to do homework they should go back to school.
Sorry rant over now.

twentypence · 24/02/2009 23:04

I was impressed with ds's teacher when she gave 3 housepoints for homework which had obviously been done himself, and had mistakes. She asked him to check his spelling and lo and behold this week he had his children's dictionary out while he did his homework. If I'd just told him which were wrong he wouldn't have learnt anything.

Most of the mum's last year admitted that they "helped" with the colouring in.

I have one parent who shouts out the answers to his son during music lessons. Why would you do this? So I have got covert and point to something tiny and ask "what is this?" Once I gave his dad a sticker at the end of the lesson "for getting so many questions right."

Docbunches · 25/02/2009 09:04

YANBU. I know I'm repeating myself, but this is a pet hate of mine.

When my DCs were at primary, I could predict with 100% accuracy which children would win the competitions and be chosen for the best parts in productions (to the point where my DCs realised for themselves it was futile bothering to enter or audition). It was always the same precocious and overbearing super-confident children who were picked for plays, and children of Governors and senior PTA members who won competitions.

Rant over!

dillinger · 25/02/2009 09:18

I remember at primary school we all had to make a 'musical instument' for homework over a week or so. Most were the usual lentils in a tub 'shakers', mine was a selection of elastic bands stretched over a frame so you could twang them

Anyway my friend came to school with a guitar! He'd had his dad busy in the shed over the weekend

troutpout · 25/02/2009 09:26

my friends ds had a fancy dress bug thing one year...lots of boppers and crepe paper and spots.
But then someone pissed on everyones parade and sent their child in wearing a homemade hungry catapillar outit that was a catapillar that actually transformed into butterfly..(had wings folded up inside the cacoon body outfit)

very funny

dillinger · 25/02/2009 09:48

omg!!

UnquietDad · 25/02/2009 09:51

Oh, don't get me started on these. The "Easter Egg" contest where they had to decorate an egg - featured dozens of intricate Humpty Dumpties on walls, Daleks... No way were any of them done by the chubby hand of a Y2. My DD did her own with an, ahem, original design of paint and glitter.

The teacher, who I like, was discreetly scornful to me of some parents' deception. "I mean, look, no way did R do that one. He can't even hold a pencil."

Stayingsunnygirl · 25/02/2009 09:54

If I were the OP, I would be writing to the school and pointing out that the child who 'wins' each year, actually has NO input into the card whatsoever, and asking what message the school is trying to send by rewarding such cheating - because that's what it is!

We used to have an Easter Egg competition at my dc's primary school, but as far as I am aware, they always chose the winners from amongst those whose entries weren't obviously the work of their parents. Though one year they did lose my best friend's son's entry, which was lovely and he'd slaved over and which his teacher thought should have won, so she bought him an easter egg as a consolation.

Gorionine · 25/02/2009 10:10

It is silly for parents to enter competitions in the name of their Dcs, or for them to do their homework but, dd1 is really arty, she was an expert at sticking and glueing by the time she was 18mths old (I kid you not!) I would be very if people dismissed her entry because it looks to good to be hers when it actually is down to her hard work.

I do not have the same worries for the other 3 dcs as they all have two left hands when it comes to craft. They will probably bring a lot of prizes back, no doubt!

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