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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School competitions where the parents do all the work?

50 replies

StayOutOfTheLight · 24/02/2009 16:47

It really pisses me off when the school do competitions such as "easter bonnets" and "Easter Cards" etc and then the teachers go and choose a card which has blatently been made by a parent.

Last year there were rows of cards. Most of them obviously done by the kids themselves and a handful which had a very "professional" and adult appearance to them.

For the past 3 years, the same girl has won the prize and the easter egg. Her mother is a professional card maker and has even admitted to other parents that her kids have NO input in the cards whatsoever because she's frightened they'll "ruin" them.

So why on earth do the teachers always pick the cards that have been done by parents when its obvious?

OP posts:

potplant · 25/02/2009 10:15

I couldn't believe it when some of the kids turned up with hat boxes and incredible creations for the Christmas hat competition last year. I had no idea that some parents get so competitive about this.

The ones my DCs did looked very shabby in comparison - but I consoled myself that they had fun making them and it was all their own work.

Gorionine · 25/02/2009 10:16

Docbunches, DD1 never gets picked for anything BECAUSE she is confident and does not need "boosting". I think it is very unfair because one day she is just going to stop bothering and let herself down! Pretty sure that when the day comes they will be plenty of people twelling her that "she could do better"!

choccyp1g · 25/02/2009 10:18

AT DS school, they judge anonymously.
DS was so stunned to win the Easter Egg competition one year, that I asked the judge why she had chosen it. She said it was because it was so obviously a child's own work, and because it looked nice. Some of the others had more work put in by the children, but they looked very crowded and busy. I didn't admit that I had helped him, by grabbing it before he went too far with the glitter.

Gorionine · 25/02/2009 10:21

and I could do better with my spelling!

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 25/02/2009 10:32

Dd1's school had a 'fanatsy home' making competition last year. All the kids brought in itricate neatly painted castles with working draw bridges and tiny little windows. Clearly not the work of five year olds.

DD1 brought a cereal box in with some loo roll holders stuck to it that was covered in glitter and blobs of glue and pink paint. It was Barbies castle appparently.

She won best effort, but the 'best model' prize was given to the one that was most clearly the work of an arty parent.

Why do parents do this anyway? I have better things to do of an evening than sit painting bits of card, like mumsnetting

ShauntheSheep · 25/02/2009 11:04

I think it depends tho doesnt it?
A kid in dd's class turned up last year with a bonnet that looked like it was their own work but in fact teh mother had shoved it together becasue she wasnt going to let the kids loose with messy stuff and anyway her kids arent into that kind of thing apparently.

Docbunches · 25/02/2009 11:10

Gorionine, I understand what you are saying re confidence in children.

My DD is also a [quietly] confident child, but I'm talking about the kind of children who have the 'in yer face' type of confident personality, of which my DCs are not in the same league - in fact, my DS is still painfully shy and it would've been great if he had been encouraged to try and participate more.

4paws · 25/02/2009 11:27

Just have a word or two in the right ears:

'Holding an Easter Card competition again? How lovely'

'X won last year didn't she? And the year before that I seem to remember'

'Yes, the card really was excellent, very professional for an .. year old. Still, it's not surprising is it given that her mother is a professional card maker?'

Gorionine · 25/02/2009 11:30

Docbunched, quietly confident one here as well,in the sens that she does not boast all the time and is definitely not in your face... but she is not shy as such. I do not know yet if it is a "curse" or a "strenght" but she does never complain and always thinks "next time it might be my turn" I really hope it will be soon.

Docbunches · 25/02/2009 11:41

Gorionine, sounds like you have a lovely DD and it's definitely a strength, imo! I'm sure her time will come, I just wish the schools would 'even it out' a bit more.

basic · 25/02/2009 11:53

I've seen this happen at our school too but the worse was a "homework of the week" certificate when no way could a 7 year old have done any of it, it was beyond many parents too - I had to bite my tongue so hard.

Gorionine · 25/02/2009 12:15

thanks Docbunches.

I would have thought teachers know their pupils enough to recognise a faked work from a real one, if there is a really big difference between the work procuced at home and the wrk produced in school.

Saying that, maybe some children thrive on the one to on attention that a parent can give them for the homework and it might explain why a homework might appear of better standard than regular schoolwork.

deste · 25/02/2009 16:17

It happens with older students as well. We had one student who was a lazy so and so for the two years we had her. At the end they had to write an essay and in came this beautifully written immaculate intelligent essay. We awarded her a pass as we knew her mother was head of the English dept at a local school. Her mother is probably still wondering where she went wrong.

zanz1bar · 25/02/2009 17:03

DD nursery school had a scarecrow competition, some of the embroidery work on the scarecrows winning face was amazing for a TWO AND A HALF year old.

piscesmoon · 25/02/2009 17:16

Luckily I have never had this, teachers know what the DC is capable of and it is fairly obvious if the parent has done most of it. There has even been a, tongue in cheek, best effort for parent certificate!

shirleyfgirley · 25/02/2009 17:21

the mother making the cards for her children is very controlling and doesn't have their best interests at heart. the whole point of art projects is that they are an expression of the child's personality and it is a huge put down if their mother doesn't consider this to be good enough!!! stupid cow

2shoes · 25/02/2009 17:31

why don't you just complain?
after years of the hell that was dd's schools prizegiving(sn school) I lost it. 4 kids in the class and the teacher had to pick 2 for teachers prize...
so i was angry and wrote a letter to the head.
I am now on the commitee to re do prize giving.(and it is going t be brilliant this year)
so complain..

katiestar · 25/02/2009 17:53

The thing is teachers know better than anybody what each child is capable and not capable of doing unaided so why they pick things which are obviously done by the parent I don't know.
However in situations where the ose judging don't know the children then it is a lot more difficult.Some children are geninely gifted.
(Is anyone old enough to remember the 'young Filmmmaker competition on the kids show 'Screen Test' Once the film that won was spectacularly professional and many viewers thought that it couldn't possibly be the work of a child. However the winner (Jan Pinkava) went on to be an Oscar wimning Animator and Director.)

kickassangel · 25/02/2009 18:03

dd wouldn't LET me interfere help her. she is far too pig headed confident about her own designs.
i pity anyone who gets one of her easter cards. 'the more the merrier' is her design brief.

BoffinMum · 25/02/2009 22:56

My DD went to great pains to write a particularly good book review once for her h/w, and the teacher accused me in writing of doing it for her, and refused to give her a mark, on the grounds that it was well above the normal standard expected of a 12 year old.

FGS my DD was a full boarder at her school at the time, and I was 70 miles away!! Nor do I even care if my DCs do their homework until vaguely around GCSE time, which is a well known fact.

Shortly afterwards we pulled her out of the school, for that and other reasons. DD now helps edit Varsity and ghosts columns for other people for glossy magazines ...

mamas12 · 25/02/2009 23:28

Re: 'confident' children. In our primary we had a visiting TIE in for the day enabling the kids to devise and act a drama based on a local event. Anyway he asked the children in the class themselves questions like 'this character is a king of the baddies person,and this character is the kind old wise woman, sarcastic trouble maker. etc, who in this class would be good at that part' and they all said so and so, it was so refreshing for them to cast themselves in who they thought would be good in these parts. Needless to say 'little princess' of the class who always had the lead because her mother was the music and drama teacher normally (!) was so upset her tantrum reached her mother at another school and she came to take her home because she said she had developed a sore thoat!!!

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 25/02/2009 23:44

Gorionine that should be two right hands, lefties tend to be more arty lol

I helped my sister make a fancy dress outfit when she was 8 and I was 13, no parents allowed. It was really good, we're both arty and she knew what she wanted. The prize went to two children who couldn't possibly have made their own outfits, I think I'd be able to make something like it now that I'm actually trained in fashion!

Tink (2.5) loves art and does some really nice cards for people, she tends to do the sticking and delegate the placing work as it needs to be just right, but she's quite capable!

BoffinMum · 26/02/2009 10:49

Mamas12, I feel your Schadenfreude. I have to get something off my chest.

I was a very talented singer indeed, but I never got to do a big voice solo at school. It always went to the school diva. Everything. All the time. She got to dress glamorously like some sort of opera star, and got big bunches of flowers, whereas I was always stood at the back, backing up the chorus, invariably dressed like a big fat bloke. If she wasn't there they even used to import another diva from a different school, who was so unmusical and thick I used to be asked to teach her the part and give her tips on how to sing it. Oh! The humiliation! The sorrow!!

I went off to study singing at music college and so on, to make a point, and I am sure I proved myself, because I won prizes and got work and so on, but it still smarts. I think I was very scarred, and this might be why I jostle myself forwards all the time as an adult!!

A MN therapy moment for you there, ladies!!

BalloonSlayer · 26/02/2009 11:47

Was her name Sharpay by any chance, BoffinMum?

Glad you got your chance in the end.

BoffinMum · 26/02/2009 13:36

Twas not, BalloonSlayer.
She ended up a drug rep! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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