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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my DP shouldn't be nagging me to lose weight and then bring home packets of croissants, crumpets and two bottles of wine!!!!!

34 replies

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 10:18

Ok, to be fair, both DP and i need to lose weight, we are not at healthy weights just now. DP has been mentioning my weight a lot just recently which is unlike him so i think he must be worried about me. My BP is on the high side of normal and im unhappy about that. He sits there and says, we should lose weight and last night he said to me on his way home from work - oh, you know you really should do something about your weight - you are not designed to be carrying that much fat (yeah yeah, a brave man indeed). Yes, he is right - So why then, when i asked him to pop to tesco for a loaf of bread, did he come home with chocolate, croissants and crumpets, and two bottles of wine. Yes, i know i don't HAVE to eat them and im going to get him to hide one of the bottles (i drank the other one all by myself last night ) and keep it for the weekend. But where is the sense in that??

Me thinks im going to have to sit down and have a wee chat to him about it. The croissants were lovely for my breakfast dipped in coffee though

OP posts:

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:21

lol...he sounds like my dh...i'm not complaining!

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:22

how much overweight are you lem?

Original poster

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 10:23

To put a perspective on things, i am 5'2" and weigh about 14 stone - last time i checked. People are when i tell them this as i don't look that big - about a size 18/20. So he is right, i am overweight and im pretty sure my BMI is through the roof. He is much the same, although he is 5'8" and probably weighs the wrong side of 15 stone. I would say i am probably more worried about him as i seem to be carrying my weight all over (well alot of it is in my bra!!) but he has a big round belly - not good!

OP posts:

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:24

omg..you don't sound that big!

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:25

iykwim...
i always imagin you to be tall and slim..

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 24/02/2009 10:29

It's odd behaviour on his part. Did he eat any of the croissants/crumpets? Does he know much, if anything, about healthy eating?
Because to tell you you need to lose weight and then offer you fattening food is giving you very conflicting messages. People who don;t think things through might do this, but the other kind of person who does this is someone who wants, for whatever reason, to make you feel anxious, guilty, and full of self-doubt.
FWIW you don't sound particularly overweight, but if you want to improve your health the answer is physical exercise and less processed food not crappy diets or any other ridiculous 'slimming' methods as NONE of them work, they are ALL cons and all they want is your money.

bruxeur · 24/02/2009 10:30

Well - to be fair, that makes your BMI 36 and his 33, so it doesn't sound like either of you should be eating croissants or drinking botttles of wine IF you're worried about losing weight.

If not, then it's moot really.

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:32

lem..i'm gonna put my photo up for 2 mimutes...tell me if i look fat

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:32

i'm 5.5 and 11 stone btw

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:35

it's there...quick!

Original poster

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 10:42

daftpunk - i'll take that as the compliment im sure you intended .

Solidgold, idon't think its ODD, just thoughtless - for the right reasons, he is a nuturer by nature so feels good when he is forcefeeding buying me nice tings to eat. I think he gets if from his mother! Thing is, he does understand healthy eating, as much as i do but i think he is sharing my mental block about the whole thing - when i had DD i had gallstones and i was on a ZERO fat diet, and it pretty much got to the point where if i ate anything, i was in agony - I lost four stone in four weeks, i was BF at the time which is why i lost so much weight - it was quite frightening really. I think that has pyschologically made it quite difficult for us to diet, that and we have got out of the habit.

I think our meals are "relatively" healthy - i cook from scratch and don't tend to eat much processed stuff. So i am a bit lost as to where to start on the healthy diet thing. I can't be doing with weight watchers as you have more or less repeated WORD FOR WORD, my comment about them and other slimming companies that i typed on another thread just now .

bruxier, you are right, we are not at healthy weights just now and it shows. The thing is, i don't have a problem with my body - well i probably do but i wont admit it. I am not interested in losing weight for appearances (im sure i am really but wont admit that either) its just for health! Actually i was remember pre DD i was about 12-13 stone, still way over my appropriate BMI (36?? Shit, thats high! i deliberately hadnt checked!) but i was really fit, in the gym every morning (working out next to barry mc guigan so i was!!) because it was great procrastination fodder and right next to my lab. The woman who did my fitness check was . but i know im not that fit - we used to run three times a week - cross country with our dog, approx 3 miles. I couldnt run to the end of the road now without collapsing!!

I need to get into that mindset - im almost there, but need some motivation.

OP posts:

Sycamoretree · 24/02/2009 10:43

Daft - I just clocked this and had to post. You are same stats as me - your BMI is within the healthy range, but near the top end. You look fab in that picture. You look like you're in my garden though!

Original poster

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 10:43

DP all i can see is sky - but i warn you now, i am brutally honest, if i think you are fat, i'll tell you

OP posts:

bruxeur · 24/02/2009 10:49

Sorry re the BMI, LEM, didn't think you were actively avoiding it.

WRT the bottle of wine though, that's about 500kCal - so a quarter of your daily calories intake (should be).

Booze always gets me - as you're drinking it you don't think of it as a calorie load but beer is horrific, and wine not much better. I find cutting down the easiest way to get rid of some flab.

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:49

thank you sycamoretree...i know i need to lose a bit of weight....but it's hard!

it's there lem

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 24/02/2009 10:50

An awful lot of the advice and received wisdom on wieght is bullshit, driven either by misogyny or the interests of big corporations. Fat people can be much healthier than skinny ones, for one thing (there are some pretty hefty swimmers etc who are in peak physical condition and big). Hypertension can also be caused by hereditory factors - and stress.

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:50

tell me if you think i'm fat...i can take it!

mylifemykids · 24/02/2009 10:53

Hefty swimmers aren't fat though are they!

I agree some bigger people can be healthier than slimmer ones though. SIL is a rake and thinks it's great that she can eat as much crap/drink as much as she likes without putting weight on. I dread to think what she's doing to her insides though!

daftpunk · 24/02/2009 10:57

that's true sgb

Original poster

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 10:58

to tell the complete honest truth, i dont think you look fat at all - in fact, you look about where i would want to be - of course with that great big coat on its hard to tell . What is scary though, is that i KNEW you would have long blonde hair!! I am so not putting a picture of me up!

Tis OK re the BMI i kind of guessed it was in its 30s. Thing is, does BMI take in muscle mass? Because right now i don't have much of that!! But when i was training and going to the gym, i didn't lose any weight, but looked a lot slimmer and felt alot better - but my BMI was still over 30. Is there a more accurate measurement - short of jumping on one of those body fat machines and i aint doing that, no way jose!!

So come on guys - motivate me!

I do believe i was stressed actually when i took my BP, but now i will be stressed whenever i take it because i'll be concentrating on not being stressed . Does anyone think this is really high 141/86, when i got there, 138/85 after about 5 minutes TRYING to sit quietly but had 3yo with me and moaning minnie mother.

OP posts:

Original poster

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 10:59

I was one of those big/fat fit people.

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Nekabu · 24/02/2009 11:07

5ft 2ins and 14lbs works out at a BMI of 35.8. 30 and above is classified as obese, so yes, it does sound as though you need to lose a bit of weight ...

Get some scales so you know how much you do weigh and can keep a track of your weight loss.

Speak to your dh though and point out that buying such food & drink isn't exactly helpful! Good luck!

bruxeur · 24/02/2009 11:08

You're right, BMI takes no account of body composition. Andy Sheridan has a BMI of 32 and bodyfat in the 10% area. Either a fat monitor or someone well-trained in caliper use would give you an idea of your bodyfat percentage, which is more useful - but as you and SGB say, even a high fat% does not preclude you from being aerobically fit.

Sycamoretree · 24/02/2009 11:08

Daft - you don't need to lose weight unless you want to. Your weight is healthy, and you look good.

I wanna shed half a stone, just so I'm not thinking about my muffin top all the time when I'm picking stuff out of my wardrobe!

Original poster

LucyEllensmummy · 24/02/2009 11:14

Sycamore what on EARTH is a muffin top [worried]!!!!!!

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