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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have let my 7 year old go to the shop by himself today?

58 replies

IlanaK · 23/02/2009 16:59

My mother certainly thinks I am and told me so in no uncertain terms!

He is 7.5 years old and we live in central London in a block of flats. The shop in question is under our building so he has to come out the front door and around the corner to the side - no road crossing involved. We know everyone in all the row of shops AND I got my Mum to look out her window to watch him (she lives in another block around that side so could see him as he came round the corner and in and out of the shop).

He was really pleased with himself and he saved me having to get all three kids bundled up just to get some eggs I needed for something I was cooking. My Mum says he is not worldly enough to do this and he is too young. She particularly thinks that as he is home educated he will not be worldly wise. I think the opposite - he is out and about with me all day everyday so knows how to deal with adults.

Unreasonable or not?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 23/02/2009 17:00

Sounds fine to me.

foxinsocks · 23/02/2009 17:00

Fine

PurlyQueen · 23/02/2009 17:01

YANBU

edam · 23/02/2009 17:02

Only pertinent point about home edding is whether he has any experience of doing stuff on his own, without you? Although if not, he needs some, and going to a shop round the corner where your Mum can see him sounds like a good start to me.

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/02/2009 17:04

I think that you as the mother are the best judge, and the age is not the main thing here, some children at the age of 11 are not mature enough to cope, however some 7 year olds, like your DS, could be deemed mature enough.

I think it is telling that he obviouslt enjoyed the experience and handled it all well.

However being a rural country bumpkin who raised my dd in a small town, I did kind of quail at the 'central london' bit.

screamingabdab · 23/02/2009 17:05

No YANBU. You know your own child. I let my 8 year old go to the corner shop alone, and he has to cross a (quiet) road. I stand at the end of the road so I can see him the whole way, but I am working the way up to him going completely alone.
I also live in central-ish London

Sassybeast · 23/02/2009 17:11

I wouldn't do it so from my POV, YABU. However if you feel happy that he could cope with every eventuality - e.g some little shit stealing his money etc, then YANBU.

2shoes · 23/02/2009 17:12

yanbu

Mumsnut · 23/02/2009 17:14

Well done. I let my 7 year old go to the shop alone last summer when we were staying in a quiet village and he still talks about it, it made hime feel so grown up and responsible.

mumto2andnomore · 23/02/2009 17:15

I wouldnt, too young in my opinion.

compo · 23/02/2009 17:16

yanbu

Mummyfor3 · 23/02/2009 17:21

Ilana, well done you - and your DS!

YANBU at all. I think you should be applauded! You are allowing your child to learn valuable life skills, he gains self-esteem, and you have done so in this increasing climate of parental paranoia and constant fear.
You know your child, you know your neighbourhood, you had lots of safety nets in place - like I said, well done you! Do not listen to your mother, let him go again, and, in time, allow him to widen his territory.

GiantMutantRat · 23/02/2009 17:22

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrmIrian · 23/02/2009 17:22

No. You know your child and the are you live in.

FAQinglovely · 23/02/2009 17:23

sounds fine to me too.

Reallytired · 23/02/2009 17:25

YANBU

I have sent my seven year old school educated son to post a letter. It did involve crossing a quiet road and he was very proud, just like your son. I wish we had a corner shop in easy reach that I could send him to. Its a great way to learn about money and improve social skills

I think that parents who are over protective do not do their children any favours. Children need a bit of freedom to develop maturity.

screamingabdab · 23/02/2009 17:26

Mummyfor3. Couldn't agree more. It's a struggle to keep a clear head in these times of unreasonable fear

ABetaDad · 23/02/2009 17:29

If he could be watched from start to finish of his journey it sounds OK.

I would not let my 8 yr old go the end of our quiet country lane to the farm shop as people with cars just do not take enough care on the lane and there is no footpath.

sarah293 · 23/02/2009 17:41

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FAQinglovely · 23/02/2009 17:44

ok those of you who let their children go out.

DS1 is 8 and before we moved did school on his own, shop and post box on his own (2 of those using a pedestrian crossing)

I had no worries about that, obviously I taught him to make sure that the cars were stopping/had stopped before he crossed when the green man appeared - but it was relativel striaght forward.

Now we've moved if he wants to go to the shop (or anywhere for that matter) he has to negotiate a Zebra crossing.

I feel 100 times more nervous about these than pedestrian crossings - how do you teach them how to use them safely?

debs40 · 23/02/2009 17:44

I couldn't agree more. I think it is hard to do things like this because the prevailing culture is to keep children wrapped up safe and away from the world.

I did things like this all the time when I was little. It's part of growing up.

There was a really interesting debate about childhood on BBC4 a few months back with Robert Winston and Tanya Byron and others and they showed how children's worlds had got smaller and smaller over the last 20 years and how potentially unhealthy this was for their development.

Don't you worry. You did nothing wrong!

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 23/02/2009 17:45

Yes I would and have let a seven year old do this.

FAQinglovely · 23/02/2009 17:45

should add I haven't let him go yet, partly because we've not been here long and I know that he's not 100% confident of the route yet, and also because of the "new" lesson of using the Zebra crossing.........

Original poster
IlanaK · 23/02/2009 17:50

Thanks everyone. I still feel like I did the right thing hours on, so I know it was right for us.

Another question then - I told him not to stop and talk to anyone he didn't know (we know people around our little "village" so it was possible he would see someone he did know). But I think if this is going to be a regular occurance, I need to talk to him in a little more detail about what dangers there are. Particularly as although this is a safe area, we do get some quite agressive homeless people from time to time (who I am sure he could outrun!)

So what to I tell him?

OP posts:
sarah293 · 23/02/2009 17:50

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