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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really HATE is when people say I look 'blooming'?

30 replies

mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:36

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my forth child, and I have always really hated it when people say ''You look blooming'' - especially when they say it with a knowing smile and you can tell it's code for 'You're turning into a big fat tub of lard'

Is it just me and my hormones, or is anyone else offended by the word 'blooming'??

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 22/02/2009 18:40

Why would you be offended? You know the meaning behind it. Surely it's just someone saying that you look well considering your pregnancy stage?

I can't wait to bloom. So far I just look, and feel, like a spotty, ratty teen.

SmallShips · 22/02/2009 18:42

I don't like it either, but not much chance of anyone telling me i look blooming at 30 weeks pregnant, usually stuck in a bath somewhere, moaning.

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:44

It probably is just hormonal rage However, with it being my fourth I'm really (overly?)sensitive about turning into a big fattie! I've always felt that 'blooming' is a kind of code for 'fat and healthy' rather than just 'healthy'... and I'm sure that in some cases it's said to imply that... but I am hormone infused and it may just be me
I actually think I will be happy to be told YABU!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:44

Glad I'm not the only one Smallships!

OP posts:
SugarBird · 22/02/2009 18:45

I loved being told I was blooming with both of mine! It's just a way of saying you look well and lovely, so I wouldn't think it was intended to offend you.

SugarBird · 22/02/2009 18:47

Oh, and YABU!

Fairynufff · 22/02/2009 18:47

I can't vouch for anyone else but I've been guilty of saying this. But when I have said it to pregnant women I certainly didn't mean 'you're turning into a big fat tub of lard'. Sometimes pregnant women do have a healthy, happy glow about them and it IS meant as a genuine, heartfelt compliment.
YABU

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:48

I suppose it's the way it's said Sugarbird... many people I'm sure say it and mean it nicely - but there are a few (one in particular I'm thinking of ) who say it over and over again and just mean 'fat'!!! Anyway, am feeling better for a quick moan

OP posts:
Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:49

Thanks for the YABUs

I will henceforth assume that I have the healthy and happy glow and not that I am a lard tub...!

OP posts:
electra · 22/02/2009 18:50

I don't think you're being unreasonable, OP - I hate it too!

ladyhelen2 · 22/02/2009 18:51

I'm not sure. Think it depends on who says it! Am also 30 weeks and one of the secretary's where I work said it to me just last week and I reckon it was code for, hmm you're looking a bit porky now. If one of my friends said it to me though, I'd take it as a compliment as I think they would tell me the truth!

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:51

There are a few of us out there then electra! I'm interested to hear if anyone has any good responses that are not too offensive...

OP posts:
SugarBird · 22/02/2009 18:52

Ah yes, that's different. If someone's saying it to wind you up then YANBU. Ignore them!!

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:53

I agree ladyhelen - but having being pregnant I would never say it to anyone else especially a friend. Saying something like 'pregnancy really suits you' is far more complimentary (even if it may be a lie!!)

OP posts:
MarlaSinger · 22/02/2009 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belgianchocolates · 22/02/2009 18:54

I'm nearly 30 weeks and I love it when people say I'm blooming, it makes me proud of being pregnant and makes me feel beautiful. No one ever looks at a pregnant woman I think and thinks she's a big fat tub of lard. No, they see your bump and think that there's something amazing happening in there and want to compliment you on it.

intheLiffey · 22/02/2009 18:55

I bloomed. when dc was 5 months old and I finally got back in my clothes and treated myself to a hairdo. blooming while pregnant!? ha!

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:56

MarlaSinger - but at least you can respond to that appropriately and be rude back! 'Blooming' is sometimes nastiness masquerading as niceness - which is harder to deal with (especially in case it actually really IS niceness!!)

OP posts:
ladyhelen2 · 22/02/2009 18:56

I think thats right mersmam. Having been through a pg prob means we know what to say to other pg ladies. I would just say "you're looking fab". Thinking about it, I don't think I would say blooming!

intheLiffey · 22/02/2009 18:57

ps I'd be more likely to say nothing to a woman who looked like a tub of lard!

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:57

That is a very good attitude Belgianchocolates - I will try to follow your example and love my amazing bump a bit more

OP posts:
MrsTittleMouse · 22/02/2009 18:58

I can understand the whole hormonal thing, but I would have loved to have been told that I bloomed during pregnancy. I was most told "you look... tired" - i.e. I deal very badly with pregnancy and look utterly awful for 9 months.

Congratulations, by the way.

Original poster
mersmam · 22/02/2009 18:58

Thanks MrsTittlemouse

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Belgianchocolates · 22/02/2009 19:00

intheLiffey totally agree with you

I once made the mistake of asking someone when her twins were due. Her answer was: 'why do you think it's twins' I wished the ground could have swallowed me.

traceybath · 22/02/2009 19:04

I'd be delighted if someone said blooming. I was quite offended by the 'ooh you're massive/huge/enormous' comments i received with both previous pregnancies.

I must say as well that women were the worst - there was almost a perverse joy in seeing me get fat from some quarters.