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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that wedding present from in-laws in a hoover

82 replies

kiterunner · 21/02/2009 21:57

It's not the cost (well, it is a bit) but the unromantic practical nature when it is their only son getting married. And I do think it is a bit mean - they are not rolling in cash but they are not broke either. But if they spent the same but bought a thoughtful present I'd be fine about it.

OP posts:
myfunnynametaken · 21/02/2009 22:20

you wanted a romantic gift from your in-laws? - sorry, but that's weird.

Did you have it on your wedding list or not?

screamingabdab · 21/02/2009 22:21

Perhaps hoover could be included in romance in some way (now you're just being silly, screaming)

ScottishMummy · 21/02/2009 22:25

what did you expect some lube and nipple glitter?something thoughtful for their only son

behave a hoover is a pragmatic purchase

sitting tittering on about how much you parents in law spent is hardly conducive to cordial relations

DaveTheHairyHandedTrucker · 21/02/2009 22:26

i bet her net curtains need a bloody good soak too

myfunnynametaken · 21/02/2009 22:26

i think we've scared her off

screamingabdab · 21/02/2009 22:28

Nighty night all. This has been fun

piscesmoon · 21/02/2009 22:29

I can't see a problem-surely a practical present is what you need? Is it just a way of saying they are mean?

ZZZen · 21/02/2009 22:29

well maybe it is just an unusual choice in her eyes because from weddings she has been to/had in the family, this is not the kind of present dp give to the bride and groom. Perhaps other guests but not the dp.

tearinghairout · 21/02/2009 22:30

I agree with you that a hoover doesn't set the pulse racing. But come on then kiterunner, what DID you expect from ILs?
Did you discuss/drop hints about what they'd buy you? "I'd like a hot tub for the garden, please" and they present you with a vacuum cleaner?

moondog · 21/02/2009 22:32

Nowt wrong with a Hoover.

Ivykaty44 · 21/02/2009 22:35

did you want a different brand of vacuum cleaner? I would bit a bit about a hoover tbh but not really sure why, I suppose cause it is a little boring

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/02/2009 22:41

Madness, I would much prefer a hoover than hideous cut glass vases or ornaments of victorian children or whatever. YABU. Plus a hoover is a reasonably expensive present, so think you are being ungrateful.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 21/02/2009 22:42

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Qally · 21/02/2009 22:48

MIL announced she was giving "us" a computer as a wedding present, despite the fact that I had a great laptop and decent pc already, and DH never uses one outside work. After we postponed for a year as I had the opportunity to do an MA in Australia and DH couldn't leave his job here, she gave him one as his birthday present. Which rather exploded any pretence that it was for us, really.

I don't think she actually gave us a wedding present, now I think about it, but I can't say I'm bothered. Her getting so drunk she spent an hour throwing up in the loos so her ex-husband (she'd left him a decade before for another man - he is a saint) felt he had to leave his gf and attend to her, so he missed a lot of the party; the fact that she still swears blind nobody told her when we were cutting the cake, and was deliberately excluded (the photos of her standing next to us as we cut it don't stop that pity party); her barrelling up to the altar the minute we'd said "I do" so she could be in the immediate post-marriage photos... now, those things bothered me!

Sorry, but unless there's heaps more here underlying the irritation, I think YABU. Would you really rather have a hideous vase you had to dust forever more and display whenever they visit, or something you need that costs a lot of money?

TheFallenMadonna · 21/02/2009 22:57

I though wedding presents were supposed to be practical. My PIL would definitely think that was the case. They come from the generation where wedding gifts were about setting up the new couple in their home.

DandyLioness · 21/02/2009 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tclanger · 21/02/2009 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Guadalupe · 21/02/2009 23:07

It's a clever present. You will think of her at each flick of the shake 'n' vac and won't be tempted to cut corners.

moondog · 21/02/2009 23:21

My ssiter got a silver plated biscuit packet carier and a mop and bucket.
Go figure.

BellaNoir · 21/02/2009 23:29

My SIL got us a loo roll stand with integral brush holder.

My Gran got us a hideous lovely 'Black Forest style' barometer.
so the hoover!

Original poster
kiterunner · 21/02/2009 23:40

you've not scared me off- I was watching tv!

Not a dyson no. But a good hoover. I guess in my culture we either give money or something to keep forever - so a vase, even if not my taste, would be a forever gift, as would a photoframe or a carriage clock, that kind of thing.

No they didn't ask what we wanted and we have no list - whatever you might think I am not a grabby person - and a hoover from anyone else except parents or in laws would be more than generous. But it strike me as so utterly unimaginative. After all, it is not a present for me really, it is for their only child who I am marrying. They didn't even get champagne (or cava) when we announced our engagement.

Aargh now I am doubting myself. Maybe I am a money grabbing slaternly ungrateful bitch! Still feel miffed though.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 21/02/2009 23:42

perhaps just culture confused?

LilyBolero · 21/02/2009 23:44

YABU - wedding presents are traditionally practical things - the idea is to 'set up' the home. And good hoovers are really expensive!

psychomum5 · 21/02/2009 23:47

ah, so you are of another culture entirely....

I can understand why then you might be confused by the hoover!!

problem is, we as british folk see a wedding as a time to recieve practical gifts, and our parents generation are much more hot on the practical stuff, so, for them, I would bet that a hoover is fabulous and something to be fawned over.

plus, they are of the opinion that a hoover is a 'last-forever' pressie anyway, as "things should be made to last" (in the words of my FIL).

vases normally come from te doddery old aunts in england BTW, going on what we got

Original poster
kiterunner · 21/02/2009 23:49

I'm from a greek background.
off to bed now.

ps fiance is very english and he is a bit miffed too - but I think he is embarrassed because my parents gave huge cheque which we have put towards are savings for a flat

OP posts: