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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want her to use my girls name even if i have a boy?

68 replies

mum2b09 · 20/02/2009 18:13

I know this might sound really childish but my bfs cousins girlfriend has blatently said that if i dont have a girl shes going to use the name i chose for a girl. This is my first baby and would have liked to have used the name if i had a girl next time as i plan to have more than one baby. I dont want to say anyhting to her but when she said it i was abit shocked and upset am i being unreasonable to feel liek this ? x

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 20/02/2009 19:02

Judging by your other thread the name is Amelia isn't it? That works in your favour because you can shorten it to Milly or Emmie to name just two - so even if she does use it first you can still have it and be different.

Nighbynight · 20/02/2009 19:08

yabu, sorry.

piscesmoon · 20/02/2009 19:10

You can't be serious - you can still use it as a name!

LauraKiora · 20/02/2009 19:20

If you don't have a girl first time around you might not want to use the name for dc2. If ds1 had been a girl he would have been called Evie. But when preggers with ds2 (didn't know I was having a boy) I felt Evie still sort of 'belonged' to ds1 so wouldn't have used it - is that a bit weird?

bloss · 20/02/2009 19:34

Message withdrawn

psychomum5 · 20/02/2009 19:39

you don;t own the name, but I can kind of get why you might feel a little pissed off.

but hey, she might stop liking the name, or it might not suit her child, or even, you both might not even HAVE a girl!!!

stop being precious, and get on with looking forward to YOUR baby, and whatever name that will suit him/her when they are born.

BTW, I had names chosen for my children before eah of them were born, and one they were in my arms, they ALL had different names, as the names choses were just not them.

be open minded

qwertpoiuy · 20/02/2009 19:43

YABU
My cousin has the same name as me, she's 18 months older. My aunt was furious, she asked my mother was there not a thousand other names she could have chosen. I loved it though and I've always felt a special bond with my cousin because of it. It's not that common a name (a longstanding Corrie character is the only TV person I know with this name). And I named my daughter forgetting my cousin has a daughter with the same name, she was chuffed though.
You're a but OTT about this, bet your future daughters won't mind.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 20/02/2009 19:45

Yes you sound extremely childish tbh

cory · 20/02/2009 20:15

How many names can you hog in this fashion? As in:

I may have a boy this time, but then I am reserving this name for if I have a girl next time

and then I am going to reserve this other name, for if I have a girl after that

and I might go on to have a really large family, so I am now asking everyone not to use this name either, or this name or this....

Qally · 20/02/2009 20:17

So - she's said if you DO have a girl, she won't use the name she likes best? How is she at all unreasonable, then?

Hulababy · 20/02/2009 20:20

YABU

She has said that she will only use it f yu don't have a girl, which seems fair enough.

OrmIrian · 20/02/2009 20:21

YABU.

mazzystartled · 20/02/2009 20:27

2 thoughts
if it's Amelia, there will be lots of them about as it is very popular just now (very pretty)
when you are up the duff you tend to think dc will look just like an Elsie but turn out to be a Christabel. you may change your mind, so might she

Tidey · 20/02/2009 20:31

I couldn't bring myself to use the name I had always wanted to use if I had a daughter because my friend called her dog the same name. But we found another far nicer name that suits DD perfectly, and we wouldn't have had any right to ask my friend not to use it before we could. Not quite the same situation, I know, but along the same lines.

I think you probably know you are being unreasonable to want to reserve a name.

apostrophe · 20/02/2009 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 20/02/2009 22:24

I hope that you realise that there will probably be several Amelias in her class when she gets to school.

mumeeee · 20/02/2009 22:32

YABU. You don't own the name and anyone can choose to use a name they like.

paolosgirl · 20/02/2009 22:34

Can I ask how old you are?

blossomsmine · 20/02/2009 22:34

.....I'd stick with Amelia....there's a girl in my son's class called Armani...what do you make of that??

screamingabdab · 20/02/2009 22:44

@blossomsmine

Another one! (except this one was spelt R-marni) - see my previous post x

lollipopmother · 20/02/2009 22:58

Amelia is a very pretty but very popular name, your boyfriend's cousin's girlfriend won't be the only person you know who ends up using it. I would either wait until you actually have a girl before getting the hump, or change the name to one that people are less likely to have, that way you won't be so upset when you hear there are 8 other Amelias in your (possible) DDs class.

lollipopmother · 20/02/2009 23:02

Oh, and I have a friend who got pissed that her SIL had suggested that she might use a name that my friend had thought of for her DS, she ended up telling her, SIL backed straight off - friend didn't end up using the name in the end anyway!!

mm22bys · 20/02/2009 23:18

YABVU.

It is not your FFS

Who really cares what you call your baby, and your bf's cousins's girlfriend calls their bub.

is this a windup?

mm22bys · 20/02/2009 23:19

sorry friday night.....jr is on...

I meant to say, it's not your sister FFS.

Who really cares?

If you like the name, go for it....

mm22bys · 20/02/2009 23:23

I reckon you are both being childish, TBH.

If you both like the name so what?

There are bigger issues out there...

You sound very young...as does your bfs cousins girlfriends...