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AIBU?

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Original poster

For being put off a man because of this?

44 replies

TheMiddle · 19/02/2009 19:22

I have been with my partner for around six months and at the weekend, met his 10 year old son for the first time.
They have a kitten and to break the ice, I asked the boy "what is his name?"
The boy replied "Retard!" I thought he was calling me that at first and looked at his father who was trying very hard not to laugh. The boy then said "What?? he called him it!"

I looked at DP and said "you didn't call the cat retard, did you?" and he ushered the lad upstairs and said afterwards "no, I just couldn't think of a name at the time so called it that for a laugh. It kind of stuck though".

It is really awful isn't it? or am I over-reacting? Its really put me off him.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 19/02/2009 19:22

Yanbu.
Horrible word.

Tamarto · 19/02/2009 19:23

I wouldn't be happy, I think it would put me off too.

fartmeistergeneral · 19/02/2009 19:23

It's definitely a bit but I don't know how you feel about him, how is is apart from this incident. It's a bit yeuch though.

fartmeistergeneral · 19/02/2009 19:23

How HE is apart from this incident....

Tamarto · 19/02/2009 19:23

[ohmy] I hope it's not an outdoor cat, imagine calling that at the door.

twinsetandpearls · 19/02/2009 19:24

It would put me off.

Tamarto · 19/02/2009 19:24

or

Original poster
TheMiddle · 19/02/2009 19:24

He has said stuff like that before. Going on about overweight people etc. I suppose I was having my doubs before this anyway

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 19/02/2009 19:26

In that case, get out!

catMandu · 19/02/2009 19:26

It would put me off tbh he'd have to have a lot of redeeming features to overcome it.

DogMa · 19/02/2009 19:26

He wouldn't last another 5 minutes with me.

And the real crime - letting his kid think it was OK and summat to laugh at. Do you want him infecting your children with his views on acceptable behaviour|?

DandyLioness · 19/02/2009 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PheasantPlucker · 19/02/2009 19:26

Sounds a total tosser.

PheasantPlucker · 19/02/2009 19:27

God, sorry, I feel really guilty aout that now. What I mean is, he doesn't sound very nice, I would get out.

PheasantPlucker · 19/02/2009 19:27

God, sorry, I feel really guilty aout that now. What I mean is, he doesn't sound very nice, I would get out.

Bathsheba · 19/02/2009 19:29

Definately would put me off...its not a word that is even in my vocabulary - therefore it would certainly not be a name I'd ever come up with for anything.

For it to be a name he came up with for the cat it must be a word thats at the forefront of his mind a lot, and that would certainly put me off.

DandyLioness · 19/02/2009 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ivykaty44 · 19/02/2009 19:30

I had a bf who i came to realise was very racist and un pc, it eventually drove us apart I couldn't cope with all the coments as I thought they were nasty and he thought he was right

spookshowangel · 19/02/2009 19:33

wouldnt out me off its just a word. it shows an imature and unsensative sde but i think that the world has gone crazy pc the word retard was used for many yrs as was spastic but now they are considered offensive terms. if he is nice let it go as a silly thing if he isnt kick him to touch and use it as the exscuse.lol

BitOfFun · 19/02/2009 19:34

I hope that kitten can run fast, because I can smell a rat

DrillBit · 19/02/2009 19:35

Sounds a total tosser Retard

kettlechip · 19/02/2009 19:39

Hate that word, my supposedly educated BIL uses it around ds1 who has mild SN (not directed at him btw) and it makes me feel murderous.

TsarChasm · 19/02/2009 19:40

Yanbu. For me a sense of humour is really important in a relationship and his is (to me) just awful. That's not one bit funny; it would put me off him instantly.

As for encouraging his son to laugh about it too...

diedandgonetodevon · 19/02/2009 20:29

That's pretty abhorrent! Like Tsarcham says, sense of humour is really important in a relationship and frankly he hasn't got one.

What sort of man encourages his child to use language like that?!?

LucyEllensmummy · 19/02/2009 21:33

drillbit

If you have your doubts then dump him, he sounds like a bit of a plank. If you really like him, just tell him that you think its childish and not a word you find acceptable - i guess there is nothing he can do now about the cats name but it is very wankerish. The image it gives me is, overweight geezer who likes to piss it up with his mates, probably thinks its funny when his kids tell people to fuck off, tattoos, bald head and reads the Sunday sport and FHM. I'll get flamed for stereotyping, but thats just what i see. My DP is overweight and tattood but none of the other things