For being put off a man because of this?

[TheMiddle]

I have been with my partner for around six months and at the weekend, met his 10 year old son for the first time.
They have a kitten and to break the ice, I asked the boy "what is his name?"
The boy replied "Retard!" I thought he was calling me that at first and looked at his father who was trying very hard not to laugh. The boy then said "What?? he called him it!"

I looked at DP and said "you didn't call the cat retard, did you?" and he ushered the lad upstairs and said afterwards "no, I just couldn't think of a name at the time so called it that for a laugh. It kind of stuck though".

It is really awful isn't it? or am I over-reacting? Its really put me off him.

Yes. It would put me off.

I'm feeling the same as BOF.

YANBU

It would put me right off the bloke. I can't imagine being with someone who would think this was in anyway funny.

This would probably put me off him if it was early days and easy to cut my losses and run. If you really like him though, it may be worth mentioning that you find it offensive- maybe no-one has pointed this out before and he can change the cat's name to something more acceptable like Fluffy?

YANBU...that is just wrong!

i think you have answered your own unspoken question. run fast

Kindness is an important quality and using words like that and laughing at overweight people it not kind. It sounds overly simple, but maybe it should be?

Fortunately you have managed to see the yucky side of his personailty now instead of a couple of years down the line. So what you see now, x 10, is what you'll be gettingn in the future. An insensitive, shallow man who has no respect for animals, people etc.

Sounds like a complete immature prat if you ask me. I think he must be naming the cat after himself! It would put me off straight away. Can't bear animals being degraded in that way and he's not setting a good example to his son either.

I think you'd be better off without that one.

YANBU - would make me think twice..

yuck

I am amazed someone here actually seems to think retard and spastic are OK, and that 'political correctness gone wrong' has stopped us wanting to use them as derogatory/'humourous' terms. Nice.....

I've always been a great believer that anybody who treats animals badly treats humans the same way. I think that is disgusting. I'd say GTFO.

It would more than put me off - I wouldnt' really want him around my DC's TBH.

Any idea why the mother of that boy left your DP? Though she can't be any better for allowing him to call the cat that.
All I can see in my crystal ball () is a relationship like that of ABitPissedOffActually who has the thread here about the DH who goes off for days on end with his phone switched off and thinks he should be able to live an independent life. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I suppose I'm getting a bad vibe from your thread.

Any idea why the mother of that boy left your DP? Though she can't be any better for allowing him to call the cat that.
All I can see in my crystal ball () is a relationship like that of ABitPissedOffActually who has the thread here about the DH who goes off for days on end with his phone switched off and thinks he should be able to live an independent life. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I suppose I'm getting a bad vibe from your thread.

oops, double posting- sorry!

only you know if he really is a big jerk who thinks retardation is a laughing matter.

sometimes even really lovely people use inappropriate words or think inappropriate things are funny. often it's just because they are a bit clueless about how offensive it can be.