Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DD to distance herself from this girl?

76 replies

suwoo · 19/02/2009 16:54

DD aged 6 sent her best friend a lovely email today, asking how her half term was going and what she had been up to etc and this is the reply she got.

Hi (DD) your club is not as cool and great and asome as mine. and my TV is nicer than yours I can wach The wicklist link and Raods darls matilda and HSM3 HSM2 and HSM1. But my sleep room is biger and better than yours and now I must go oh Todels (Other girl)

The friend is a september born 7 yr old and we have had 'ishoos' before. I don't think I'm being precious..........am I?

OP posts:
twinsetandpearls · 19/02/2009 21:24

LeQueen

plonker · 19/02/2009 21:30

Am not saying there's anything wrong with it ...just that I appear to be out of touch and feel ooooooooooooold ...

WRT your OP, I actually agree with Katiestar - she sounds like a stroppy 7 yo acting like a stroppy 7 yo.

Is it right? No, of course not! ...and yes, you and your dd have every right to be miffed, but kids will be kids, and kids can be horribly horrible, as we all know.

One thing I have learned from bitter experience, is that you unfortunately can't tell your children who they can and cannot be friends with, and whether you want your dd to distance herself from the other little girl or not is a little irrelevant If your dd wants to play with her, then she will.

'Tis shit, I know. We've had the same problem for years with dd1 and her 'best friend' but they do seem to be growing a little apart now.

herbietea · 19/02/2009 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
suwoo · 19/02/2009 21:36

Herbietea, I didn't actually call her DD a bitch. On the last day of term there was a disco, from which I collected DD and her friend and took her home so I am pretty certain they were best mates the last time they saw each other. I am leaving DD to find out for herself, but obviously my motherly instinct is that I am desperate to 'protect' her from hurt.

OP posts:
Rachmumoftwo · 19/02/2009 21:58

I would want to see the other email before judging this child. Is it possible that your DD's 'lovely email' may have upset this child?

If this child has had little in the way of fun and outings over half term, maybe she was upset hearing about your daughter's lovely half-term and was trying to show that she wasn't bothered?

LeQueen · 19/02/2009 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
suwoo · 19/02/2009 22:02

Here is DD's email....

DD here, are you having a good half term? I am because you know I got a TV for christmas....... yeah. Well you could only play DVD's on and music. But now I've got sky and you can watch programs. But you can't watch "Disney Channlel" (misreble me). Luckily you can watch "CBBC" and "Pop girl"
(phew). Let's get off that subject, and talk about books. I am reading this great book "Milly Molly Mandy", have you read it................... probbaly not. Great anyway. How's your new room ( lucky thing) (the camras coming... say cheese!!!!!!!! ) (click) You said Calvin's coming............. bin yet?

((((((((mileykins)))))))))

OP posts:
herbietea · 19/02/2009 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
suwoo · 19/02/2009 22:05

Yeah, I know, reading it back I don't know what I was trying to say there. I was 'hurt' on her behalf I think. Like I said earlier- projecting maybe?

OP posts:
Rachmumoftwo · 19/02/2009 22:09

I really don't see much difference between the emails tbh. Both are written by children and parts of either could be taken out of context as not being very nice.

As others have said, perhaps both girls are too young to be communicating through the medium of email due to their age and maturity.

Although I also know adults who don't email well and often cause offence.

Smithagain · 19/02/2009 22:11

To be honest, having seen your DD's first email, the other girl's response doesn't seem so bad. It is responding to the things your DD said. Definitely showing off and displaying plenty of one-upmanship, but nothing terribly out of the ordinary, judging by the 7yo girls in my DD's class.

Oh and for the record, my six year old emails one of her friends quite regularly ... she lives on the other side of our party wall

Original poster
suwoo · 19/02/2009 22:12

DD's email doesn't read as well on here to be honest, she had more smilies in it. God, that sounds really lame

Going to bed now.

OP posts:
tiggerlovestobounce · 19/02/2009 22:14

To me the email reads as her copying Sharpay from HSM. I dont know if all young girls realise that Sharpay is really quite rude.

plonker · 19/02/2009 22:25

Having now read your dd's email, the 'other' childs email makes more sense, lol.

Don't know where she's going with the 'club' thing, but wrt her tv being 'nicer', couldn't she just be referring to the programmes and saying that she prefers the ones she's been watching? Your dd has told her what she has been doing - isn't 'other' girl just doing the same?
Your dd asks her about her room - couldn't she just be being a little clumsy in her reply?

Obv you have other issues as you say, so maybe thats clouding your judgement (I don't mean that as patronising as it sounds, honestly)?

Anyway, your OP is AYBU to want your dd to distance herself from this girl - on this example alone, I would say YABU. I do understand your feelings though and I know you've said there have been other issues.

I still stand by what I said previously, unfortunately there's not an awful lot you can do about it I'm afraid.

herbietea · 19/02/2009 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
suwoo · 19/02/2009 22:37

Oh Herbitea, I am being supersensitive tonight in my pregnant hormonal state or are you just trying to see the worst in me/my dd?
Plonker, you are right, seeing it on here without all the smilies etc it doesn't read as well as it intended as does sound 'showy offy' maybe thats how the other girl interpreted it. For what its worth, the other girl has all the things DD mentions, so its not like she was trying to make her jealous.

OP posts:
Original poster
suwoo · 19/02/2009 22:38

I really am going to bed now before I make myself sound a twat . Yes, the other issues are clouding my judgement I think.

OP posts:
LadyThompson · 19/02/2009 22:44

Herbietea, you are just picking a fight methinks. Good on OP for not rising to it.

Rachmumoftwo · 19/02/2009 22:46

I don't think anyone means your daughter sounds bad, just that the other girl doesn't sound bad either. Peas in a pod inasmuchas they are girls of the same age, similar likes and dislikes and a similar style of writing I think.

herbietea · 19/02/2009 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pingping · 19/02/2009 22:58

7 Year olds are like this surely My God daughter fights over me with her cousin she has just turned 8 I think YABU

Aefondkiss · 19/02/2009 22:59

suwoo my dd (also 7) has a "best" friend who has the same attitude - I find it hard to deal with, my dd can be overly sensitive (imho) and I also feel slightly annoyed by her supposed best friend, she doesn't act like a good friend, but my dd insists she is her best friend..

I don't remember this angst at 7 very well you have my sympathy anyway my worry is it will only get worse

ChippingIn · 19/02/2009 23:04

Suwoo - pregnancy hormones & a desire to protect Lo's from any hurt. However, they do sound like 6 of 1, 1/2 dozen of the other! Six year olds can sound nasty, but it's all a part of learning...

If this exchange made your daughter 'go pale and have to lay on her bed until she felt better', I would disagree with you and say that she is over sensitive.

twinsetandpearls · 19/02/2009 23:36

suwoo please do not let this upset you.

I find it very interesting that people think that the email may be influenced by a charactar from HSM and this has lead to them being rude. I have heard dd speaking in a similar rude way and I wonder if she has got it from there as she has not got it from us.

toddlerama · 19/02/2009 23:59

I know a couple of girls, admittedly a little bit older, who copy the way HSM characters speak and are losing friends rapidly! I think it's just something they'll wakeup to as they get more socially aware. They are only 6 and 7! Just learning how to cultivate friendship really. I wouldn't say YABU, but a bit of grace goes a long way.