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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to smother my DH with a large pillow......

31 replies

5inthebed · 14/02/2009 22:32

when I get up for night feeds with our ds3 at stupid o clock, and can hear his contented snoring drifting downstairs. I almost feel like he is bragging that he is asleep in our cosy warm bed and I am awake in the middle of the night freezing my toes off?

Its his (once a week) turn to do the night feeds tonight, and I really want to be make loud sleeping noises just to annoy him

OP posts:
KingCanuteIAm · 14/02/2009 22:35

not at all! Why do you go downstairs for noght feeds though?

can you put a peg on your nose so you will be sure to sonre very loudly?

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 14/02/2009 22:36

YANBU and I feel your pain!

Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 22:40

Hmmm, not sure why I go downstairs tbh. Have done it with all 3 kids as well! Probably more comfortable feeding on settee than in bed I would think?

OP posts:
ThumbLoveWitch · 14/02/2009 22:41

I would make sure I "accidentally" woke him every time I had to get up.
Sadly, my DH manages to get a good night's sleep every night as I am still bf'ing DS and because he quite often ends up in our bed cos he won't go back to sleep afterwards, DH generally sleeps in the spare bed. We don't mind this arrangement - I get a whole bed (apart from DS) and he gets a whole bed in which he can snore and fart to his own content without disturbing us.

KingCanuteIAm · 14/02/2009 22:42

Fair enough! I always stayed in bed as asleep and warm as it is possible to be without falling asleep

Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 22:45

Don't even get me started on the farting. When putting ds3 back in his cot, I dont need a light as there is a green glow from all the noxious gases he has managed to exude during the night

OP posts:
Gavlaar · 14/02/2009 22:46

why does he only do night feeds once a week?

CherryChoc · 14/02/2009 22:48

YANBU! I get this and it is totally irrational (I suggested that I do all the night duties FFS, if he has work in the morning!) I stay in the bedroom too, if possible.

Ah well, Sunday tomorrow, he can get up and walk DS round if he needs it tonight

Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 22:54

He works 5 long days a week, so has the sleep. I don't mind doing the other 6, I get a night off, and a long lie in as he takes all 3 kids out for the morning.

OP posts:
ABetaDad · 14/02/2009 22:57

Look, I know this is going to be unpopular but after 3 months my wife gave up breast feeding and we went to bottle. It meant I could share the night duties with her and our DS1 was a lot happier too as he was no longer so hungry.

He did not suffer from not having breast milk. I really do think that this 'breast is best' mantra in hospitals is desperately unfair on women. There really is nothing wrong with good quality formula milk as long as the baby can tolerate it of course.

If you want your DH to help you I am afraid that there really is no other option than formula.

I think you are being unreasonable to expect him to wake up just because you are up breast feeding. What is he supposed to do?

Sidge · 14/02/2009 22:58

YANBU.

I used to sit bfing whilst DH snored away next to me. I used to entertain violent fantasies of stabbing him in the head with a breadknife or attaching bulldog clips to his testicles.

I settled for "accidentally" elbowing him in the face as I settled back down afterwards

ABetaDad · 14/02/2009 23:00

By the way 5inthe bed - if you are not breastfeeding? Why on earth is your husband not getting up? If you are using the bottle you should have been kicking out of bed every other night for the last several months.

Put your foot down woman.

dizzydixies · 14/02/2009 23:05

pmsl ABetaDad

am still bfing DD3 and sometimes its just nice to have the baby brought through even if all he's going to do is go straight back to snoring sleeping

its about acknowledgement for me, nothing else just DH knowing that I'm doing what I can 99% of the time and a wee lie in that remaining 1% would be just lovely

my Dh works shifts and only got home at about 4.30 this morning, funnily enough DD3 woke up at about 5am and couldn't go back over due to being fed next to foghornlefhorn

I had neither the inclination or energy to move away from the noiseybogbeastfromhell noise so I kicked him up the arse until he moved over - not easy whilst bfing a child let me tell you

MrsPurple · 14/02/2009 23:05

I agree, you should share the role. I BF both mine, but DH still helped with night feeds by getting baby (I lay down to feed) and then putting back to bed.

This wasn't every night, but it left me in a drowsy state so I drifted back to sleep easier.

mortica · 14/02/2009 23:06

My dd worked 5 days a wk and did one night but i still had to wake him upto tell him that dd was awake. It still hasnt changed, whenever my dd's wakeup in night its me that hears them not him, hes fast asleep.

mortica · 14/02/2009 23:08

Sorry that was my dh worked not my dd

dizzydixies · 14/02/2009 23:10

mortica - I've had very same converstion with DH this week

DD3 slept through for the first time in AGES the other night but I was still woken up by DD1 falling out of bed - huge crashing noise and loud crying

he heard nothing and I know he heard nothing as he continued to snore sleep through it

yet had this happened when I was away with DD2 and DD3 a few weeks ago I'm quite sure he would have heard AND dealt with it

I always hear them, regardless. He only hears them if he knows he absolutely HAS to

Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 23:14

Sorry, should have stated, not bf, but bottlefeeding. DS3 is 12 weeks old, so still gets up a few times in night. DH will get up when I kick gently nudge him awake, and will help during the week if I am shattered. I wasn't stating he didn't. I was simply stating the snoring drives me mad!!!!

Oh and BTW, good for you ABetaDad for helping feed your children. I'm sure your wife was really appreciative of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 23:15

dizzydixies My DH is exactly the same! Nightmare to wake up.

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 14/02/2009 23:18

5inthebed I swear to god you could park your car on mine and he wouldn't budge

dizzydixies · 14/02/2009 23:21

actually some nights am tempted to try it

Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 23:23

Now there is an idea I might try tomorrow night

OP posts:
Leo9 · 14/02/2009 23:48

Get yourself a feeding chair in the baby's room or yours asap! Can't believe you are trudging downstairs in middle of night, this is your 3rd isn't it?!

Comfy rocking chair and stool in baby's room with a blanket to throw over you for night feeds; absolute minimum. We got a chair from ikea that is one of those 'bendy' wood chairs, v v cheap there is no excuse!

And absolutely, totally take turns night feeding. You work the next day as well as him don't you?! Unless you hand the baby over to a nanny all day long, you are BOTH working the next day so why on earth shouldn't he feed too!

Original poster
5inthebed · 14/02/2009 23:55

I have one of those chairs downstairs, so comfy.

I am on maternity leave and have no job to return to as was made redundant last year.

Would LOVE to be able to afford a nanny!

OP posts:
Leo9 · 14/02/2009 23:58

Did you realise I meant you work as in, you are working at home bringing up kids?! didn't mean work as in office work etc

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