Is my boyfriend tight?

[peachyfox]

I've been living with my boyfriend for about a year and a half of our 2 year relationship, first in my flat, for just a few months. He paid half the mortgage but no bills (it was just 3 months and the subject never came up). Then we were away for 6 months and split everything. We came back to live in his flat - mine is let out. I have always paid half the mortgage (even when he went onto default rate because he was too lazy to sort out the new one in time). I pay for most of the food because I cook every night (waitrose opposite - v. dangerous). I pay all the utility bills. He pays the internet and he SAYS he pays the council tax but he never told them I moved in so basically he's only paying what he would have done and I'm essentially exposed to prosecution for being a vile scammer which I hate. We always argue about money. Yesterday he said I should also really, if I could, pay half the building's insurance and maintenance fee on the flat (I pay these on my own flat, but of course it's let out - at a profit). Its re this last issue I would like your various opinions. As a live-in girlfriend, should I pay things like maintenance charge and building's insurance? It's £450. I'm freelance and work is bad. He's quite well off.

I'm aware this is a rather dry AIBU so I will add that we am 3 months pg with no. 1, age 41, conceived via IVF donor sperm (hereditary reasons) which I paid 9K for myself (no complaints here, money well spent).

So, AIBU?

Food is expensive, so if you're paying for this then you're already contributing more than him, and the annual insurance/whatever is insignificant in comparison.

It all sounds very complicated. DH and I split expenses loosely according to our earnings

Tight! And immature.

(sigh) OK, my boyfriend's tight. Anyone want to swap? He's clever, funny and interesting, loving and very, very hot.

But tight!

Are you paying half ofhis mortgage?

It all depends on the individuals - personally what I think it should come down to is whether each partner has the same disposable income after all the household costs and necessities are paid for. As far as DW and I go, I've always contributed more as I've earned more but the exact amounts or responsibilities have been pretty fluid. The key thing is that we've always had about the same amount of disposable income for stuff like clothes, books or nights out.

MrsMattie, we split the mortgage or rent for the house we live in 50/50. This has never been a problem because we lived overseas and rented. When we came back to his house we agreed I would pay half the mortgage but didn't really nail down how the bills would be settled. BIG mistake apparently. I was just surprised he expected me to contribute to things like the annual fee charged by the property company that runs the block. Seemed a bit tight because it would never have occurred to me. It's also relevant that I have a flat rented out that makes a very big profit. If we lived in that, and he rented his, he would be the one making the big profit.

We've now sold the house and will be living overseas and have agreed to each pay the same £ into an account for all house and baby expenses (can't do more anyway, because I have to show accounts for tax). I'm pissed off my bf has such a crappy attitude to money and although it annoys me to say so, many of the posters on here are quite right when they say he sounds immature and ill-prepared for fatherhood. However, a father he will be, and as a very intelligent (if rather spoiled) man, I'm sure he'll come together just fine.

So, tight - yes, end of the world, no.