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Original poster

To be annoyed at my friends 'cancer cure' rantings

35 replies

WilyFox · 11/02/2009 12:19

A member of my family has terminal cancer, he is not going to get better and he doesnt have long left.

My friend on FB who i have recently got in contact with seems to think that the government(?) have come up with a cure for cancer but won't give it out because cancer brings in too much money through selling the drugs the cancer patients.

Now i really like this person, used to get on great with her and hope to stay friends with her but TBH i find it so upsetting seeing her status all the time, it just brings up all the uspet to the front of my mind

I know she is not doing it intentionally but i just wish she would drop it, and i dont know if i should say anything or just leave it, i dont want to fall out with her over this

today her status is XXXXX - is angry the biggest cancer group on facebook has been hacked and closed due to the truth about cancer cures!

I feel upset because even if there is a cure for cancer we dont have access to it so its a bit like dangling a carrot we will never be able to reach

OP posts:
elliott · 11/02/2009 12:22

Use other forms of contact with her than facebook?

laweaselmys · 11/02/2009 12:22

Remove her.

She is firstly, utterly nutty (if they did have a cure for cancer they would make so much money selling it to other countries and uncrippling the NHS of course they would make it available!!) and secondly causing you distress that you don't need. If you feel like you can cope add her again later.

Original poster
WilyFox · 11/02/2009 12:26

She used to be a good friend and i only got back in touch a couple of weeks ago, i don't want to delete her and make her think i am not interested in being her friend.

I think if somebody was to delete me i would take offence (unless i didnt really know them)

OP posts:
Stayingsunnygirl · 11/02/2009 12:29

I would contact her directly and tell her how much she is upsetting you, and why. Ask her politely if she can consider your feelings at this difficult time.

If she's a true friend, she won't let her beliefs stand in the way of supporting you and caring for you. If she can't do this, then perhaps she's not as good a friend to you as you thought she was, and you need to step away, metaphorically, until you feel you can cope with it again.

jack99 · 11/02/2009 12:29

Have no contact with this looney. You have enough on your plate without listening to this nonsense. Because, however much we might ALL want it to be true, sadly there IS no magic cure.

Sadly, that is the problem with meeting people on the internet, you don't really know anything about their state of mind (and the little people behind the radiator agree with me!)

CatIsSleepy · 11/02/2009 12:39

she is barking
I would avoid her if it is upsetting you....
or explain the reasons for deleting her and contact her off facebook?

and anyway why on earth would she think such a thing?
how does cancer make money for the govt? it is the drug companies that make money out of drug treatments- and the govt that pays for these drugs via the taxes we pay. It's a huge expense for the NHS.

and there is really no such thing as a 'cure for cancer' -that's impossible, there are a lot of different kinds of cancer, they would all require a different 'cure'.

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 11/02/2009 12:41

Sorry about your relative.

You can click next to the status update on your news feed and put 'read fewer stories about xxx' and it means that you won't be able to see her statuses unless you click on her profile, or go to 'Status Updates'. I do this for a few people who write those updates like 'xxx wishes that people would stop hurting her/dumping on her/etc'. You know that people only write those so that they get some sympathetic responses.

You don't have to delete her then.

MadreInglese · 11/02/2009 12:42

Sorry about your relative Wilyfox

Can you tell her that her rantings are upsetting you?

Failing that, IIRC you can limit what FB info you see about other people, so you don't see her updates and statuses.

mayorquimby · 11/02/2009 13:07

bizarre mind set.
i can in a way understand people who won't donate to cancer research on the basis that it is basically funding free research for huge pharmaceuticals who will most likely hold poorer patients to ransom and make billions once the cure is found. (i.e. i can understand the logic, but completely disagree with them and donate myself because a cure at a price is better than no cure.)
but to think the gov are intentionally with holding it is barking imo.
don't know what you can do though. if you ask her to politely remove it, it sounds like all you'd get was her "facts" about how it's true and she'd see it a helping you as you could join the movement to make the gov release it or something.

Blu · 11/02/2009 13:14

I would send her a polite but straightforward message explaining that you are deleting her for now because it is not the right time for you to be reading her posts on her cancer cure theories, that she should not take it personally, and that when you are feeling stronger you will add her to your list again, and look forward to resuming contact. And that if she wishes to remaon in contact through other means in the meantime, you would be v pleased - but to keep off the topic which is too close to home.

AnnVan · 11/02/2009 13:53

WilyFox - my Dad believes this too!! (but then he also believes that Schwartzenegger wants to rule the world, and the illuminati own Tony Blair and any other conspiracy theory he hears ) I can imagine it must be so upsetting in your circumstances, at least when my dad goes on about it I can just let it wash over me, as I'm not in your situation.

gagamama · 11/02/2009 14:14

I agree that she sounds a few sandwiches short, surely the 'government' are losing money by paying for cancer treatments... they're not the ones making money from it?!

I really don't see how any rational person could work that into status updates either. She sounds a bit unhinged to me. Delete her or at least block her status updates.

lilstarry1 · 11/02/2009 14:18

So because someone has a theory they are nutty? That's a bit rude isn't it? Just because her opinion may be a bit out there I think it's rather cruel to deem her insane and throw away her friendship (not aimed at OP but some of the replies!)

I think you need to deal with your grief and frustration, cancer is such a hard disease in that it invades and makes everyone feel incredibly helpless. I would tell her how you feel, I would also avoid Facebook! Unfortunately tho' the reality of society is you will be confronted by upsetting and emotive images and stories, if you can find peace with your friends unfortunate and tragic circumstances it will be easier.

I am sorry that you're hurting, I think honesty but diplomacy is the best thing.

sherby · 11/02/2009 14:18

My friend thinks this too

Although she also believes that the US were behind 9/11, the gov put fluoride in the water to purposely cause Alzheimer's so people will die earlier and other loony tune theories

blametheparents · 11/02/2009 14:26

And anyway, there isn't 'a cure', nor ever could be. Cancer is so much more complicated than that.

tiredsville · 11/02/2009 14:34

I agree with lilstarry1 comment.

independiente · 11/02/2009 15:59

I also agree with lilstarry1 - good advice. Sorry about your family member Wilyfox.

Original poster
WilyFox · 11/02/2009 16:31

I have use the 'less about' on the link, i havent deleted her though because i don't want to send the wrong impression.

When we are chatting i will try to bring it up rather than sending a whole message just for that one thing.

Thank you for your replies.

This same person thinks the word is going to end on 20 12 2012.

OP posts:
Sullwah · 11/02/2009 16:39

You dont need to mix with looneys at a time like this.

My aunt (mums sister) wanted to trek my mother accross london to see some private cancer specialist a friend of hers recommended (mum was very weak at the time as she was dehydrated as a side effect from painkillers).

I googled him and found out he was a breast cancer specialist - my mum had endometrial cancer!

I completely lost it with her - she meant well and wanted to help but was just incompetent and stupid.

You need to avoid such people right now. They are not helpful and just cause unnecessary distress.

PC249 · 25/04/2012 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/04/2012 15:24

I spoke to a lady a couple of weeks ago who was saying the exact same thing! I am off to check her status now!!

YANBU - I lost my mum to lung cancer. She just couldnt fight it, nothing to do with a cure being withheld...what a cruel thing to say!

redwineformethanks · 25/04/2012 15:42

Could she be clutching at straws desperately hoping there is a miracle out there for someone in her own family? I guess that's possible

Hide her status updates definitely. No need to delete her if you prefer not to

5318008 · 25/04/2012 15:42

Betty this is a zombie thread; I am so sorry that you lost your Mum x

Columbia999 · 25/04/2012 15:45

As someone living with cancer, I find all these conspiracy theories very annoying and quite upsetting. As if anyone believes there is one single treatment that will magically cure all cancer, which manifests itself in so many forms.

2shoes · 25/04/2012 15:47

hide her. block her or defriend her.
yanbu

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