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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the amount of wine at our wedding one of anybody else's business!!

107 replies

bridetobewithinterferingmil · 08/02/2009 20:29

Dp and I are getting married - woooh!

We want to pay for it all ourselves and are on a pretty limited budget so got a good deal on some wine from a wholesaler. Since we bought it mil has not shut up about how she's worried it will run out half way through the reception and embarass her!! It is our wedding after all! So we siad fine we've bought loads of fizzy water and stuff and peeople can drink that and we don't actually want a wedding full of drunken people - at our expense!

Now she's rung me up today and said one of her friends has got a son (who I suppose we'll have to invite too now) who is something BIG in the catering business and he'll take the water away and sort out more wine for us.

AIBU to think mil should keep her neb out and that I should be able to sort out my own catering arrangements?

OP posts:
morningpaper · 08/02/2009 20:50

we've got 6 big boxes - in all 544 litres!!

????? 90 litre boxes?

LittlePeanut · 08/02/2009 20:50

But just because she is annoying you by interfering doean't mean she is wrong about the wine.

Littlefish · 08/02/2009 20:50

Are there really 90 litres in each box?

I think you really need to give a bit more thought to how many people are actually going to come and then work it out on that basis.

alicecrail · 08/02/2009 20:50

Honestly, have you not realized that of course its not your day. It is so the interfering old trouts elders in your family can show off at how good they are at organising a big do for their your guests

Habbibu · 08/02/2009 20:50

You can work out roughly how much wine you'll have per person. I think a bottle has about 5 glasses in, champagne/sparkly maybe slightly more. So if you give 100 people 2 glasses each, you need 200 glasses = 40 bottles. Plus, say, one glass of sparkling = 20 bottles.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 08/02/2009 20:51

I am not sure if YABU or not because it could be that your MIL is simply trying to help. Even more so if you and your DP are a bit uninformed about how much wine is enough (if you are both teetotallers and think that anyone who drinks more than one glass is a raging alcoholic, then you are going to under-cater and look mean and peculiar). ALso, are you providing beer/cider as well? If you have budget constraints, a barrel of beer works out cheaper than wine and there are lots of independent breweries etc that will provide one and probably someone to pour the pints as well.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 08/02/2009 20:51

How big is your place btw? Pretty big if you are having literally hundreds of guests I imagine. How will you know how many to cater for food wise if the numbers seem completely unknown?

morningpaper · 08/02/2009 20:52

Write a LIST - know who is coming. How are you working out food etc? Do you have invitations? Do you have room for "hundreds of people"??

pavlovthecat · 08/02/2009 20:52

YABU -

*MILs exist specifically to be interfering at your wedding. It is their sole purpose.

*She is offering to sort out more wine. Get over it. Do not be so stubborn.

if you have hundreds of people coming, and they are all from your village, you cannot* run out, especially as it is your wedding. Now the doubts have been sown you will worry about it from now on, so just let her do it.

Surfermum · 08/02/2009 20:52

Maybe she thinks that you aren't supplying so much wine as you can't afford it and is being helpful rather than interfering.

I'm not really in a position to say how much is enough because I like a bit of a drink. We had at least a bottle each at our wedding, plus bucks fizz on arrival, champagne for the toasts and port for toasting Nelson (we got married on Trafalgar Day). But I didn't mind having a wedding full of drunk people at our expense, it was what I wanted.

bruxeur · 08/02/2009 20:54

Take the wine, smile, say thank you, everything stops being a problem.

Dude! Free wine!

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 08/02/2009 20:54

I am feeling a bit about this thread tbh, maybe I am just a suspicious old cow.

The details seem rather odd, the op seems to be planning a large wedding reception at her home, possibly hundreds of guests may descend on the place. (friends of friends and other followers...)

She has a large quantity of wine in boxes of a size that I am about - 90 litres??!!

Original poster
bridetobewithinterferingmil · 08/02/2009 20:54

Maybe we should buy some cheap stuff and bring that out after everybody has had a taste of the good stuff? Thats what everybody else does isn't it?

Am really angry with mil though! Yesterday she went on and on about how she thought our bridesmaids are a bit dippy and well never be ready to get to the church. Now today she's on the phone saying her mate has got this son and wouldn't it be miraculous if he could do us a deal! Dread to think what she's going to be on about tomorrow! We've already got friends doing the catering and she seems quite confident in their abilities at least! Phew

OP posts:
morningpaper · 08/02/2009 20:55

TBH of the two of you, I have the MOST sympathy for your MIL....

morningpaper · 08/02/2009 20:55

Dread to think what she's going to be on about tomorrow!

Goodness me, yes - that bitch will probably offer to pay for the flowers next!!

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 08/02/2009 20:56

Also it seems a little naive to be worried about your mil interfering and you losing control.

If all of these hundreds of friends/followers/relatives etc turn up imo the whole thing will be out of control.

bruxeur · 08/02/2009 20:56

Is this a comedy thread about the wedding at Cana?

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 08/02/2009 20:57

bruxeur my thoughts entirely.

Original poster
bridetobewithinterferingmil · 08/02/2009 20:57

Cana bride not make a fuss about her choices then?

Don't feel sorry for mil - she's a bit too pleased with herself tbh and is delighted we are having a big do so she can invite all her mates. She thinks they walk on water! Huh!

I'm really surprised at your reactions tbh - thought I'd get some support here

OP posts:
morningpaper · 08/02/2009 20:57

you might be right bruxeur

have you got 10 lamps filled with oil?

DesperateHousewifeToo · 08/02/2009 20:58

I think only 3 glasses per person is rather stingy. Unless the party is only an hour long?

Or maybe I'm just a lush

Littlefish · 08/02/2009 20:58

Ha ha ha ha

Is her mate called Mary?

Are you serving loaves and fishes?

bruxeur · 08/02/2009 20:58

Because if so that joke got old a LONG time ago. And I've only been on this site for a few months.

morningpaper · 08/02/2009 20:58

Do I get points for getting it right at the first post?

Habbibu · 08/02/2009 20:58

"She thinks they walk on water!" Oh god, oh god. Nice one, missus.

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