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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have had quite enough of this woman?

42 replies

muggglewump · 07/02/2009 00:31

Where do I start?
If anyone remembers, she's the same one that was funny about me getting her daughter's old bike at Christmas.
She asked two weeks ago how much I get in Tax Credits. Thinking I have nothing to hide i told her. Since then she's beem weird, she said that I make more than she does and she works full time.
It's true, I do but she has a husband and a full time wage awaiting her at home. She showed me her £2500 holiday. They (her and Husband) own a car and a house.
I asked if she had claimed benefits when she was left as a single parent./ She said yes but very little as she worked full time. I asked did she not get childcare money and she said no, she had her Mum!
I asked if she got rent money and she said no, she owned her flat which turned out to be a lie!
She did not own her flat and she worked full time as her Mum brought up her daughter for her whilst she met a man so she could have the life she now has.
She has forgotten that as her husband pays whilst she works full time and her Mum still has her daughter. The daughter has everything money can buy.

I'm just sick of people like this judging me, and being mean to me because I get benefits.

OP posts:
ThumbLoveWitch · 07/02/2009 00:38

muggglewump. do you still need to talk to this person? she is obviously not a nice person to know, really - and her opinion, from what I remember, should be worth jack shit to you.

If I were you I wouldn't be so open about your circs with people like this (or anyone except proper close friends) cos you never know who they will go on to tell behind your back.

Get shot of this one if you can - she is a bit of a poisonous snake.

dittany · 07/02/2009 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StayFrosty · 07/02/2009 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany · 07/02/2009 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
muggglewump · 07/02/2009 00:44

I work with her.
I hate her and I know she is poisonous.

I was open as I have nothing to hide, silly of me really but that was my thinking.

Am I too nice, or too decent or too what?

OP posts:
ThumbLoveWitch · 07/02/2009 00:47

all of the above, mugggle.
it is terribly bad manners to ask people things like that - as has been said, she obviously wasn't "brung up proper".

Mention it if she asks again (her upbringing, I mean)

dittany · 07/02/2009 00:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beanieb · 07/02/2009 01:09

Perhaps you are being as judgemental as you think she is?

I can totally understand how galling it must be to have people judge you as a single mum but if this was just an observation on her part perhaps you should cut her some slack.

Full credit to you for working and being a loving single parent, it's hard and no one should begrudge you your tax credits.

Sounds like she was/is not entitled to the same benefits because of her different situation. Maybe she just needs a subtle reminder of this?

Original poster
muggglewump · 07/02/2009 01:13

I'm in a bad situation at work as I've just had my hours dropped to 13. I need 16 to make Tax Credits.
She knows this and has a fair bit of influence with the boss.
The boss is quite unapproachable but I have spoken to her.
She said she'd sort me out enough hours for this week and would get back to me......yesterday

She seems to have forgotten that she was ever a lone parent. I remember as whenever her DD has a problem the first thing she does is arrange a night or two for her Mum to have her DD.

I thought I had done the right thing, staying at home with DD but it's seems not.

And as for claiming any sort of benefits, well that's just wrong apparently

OP posts:
solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 07/02/2009 01:14

Next time, tell her you are about to make a fortune from selling Woolafanjo oil. And that if she likes, she can have a franchise selling the same. If she bites, give her a load of flyers saying that Woolafanjo oil will cure everything: mild anxiety, arse wasps, itches, depressiveness, sudden sneezing, rising of the lights, cranial worms, oh, and gullibility too.

ChippingIn · 07/02/2009 01:16

YANBU - she sounds like a right PITA. Next time she asks you something you don't want to answer (and I'd be a lot less forthcoming if I were you! ) say... 'Why do you want to know?' Usually stops most people and the responses are quite funny!! If she persists after that just tell her that it's none of her business...

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 07/02/2009 01:16

Oh, if anyone wants any Woolafanjo oil...

Original poster
muggglewump · 07/02/2009 02:09

Ooh I like that. I will go with the woolafanjo oil.
This is the same woman who said and I quote "eww, can't you buy them new, other people have drank out of them", about cups that I had bought in Oxfam. We work in a Coffee Shop. Doh!

She makes up shit anyway.
She told me that her OH only likes thongs and she only wears them and only nice ones. She continued the conversation the day after I'd seen the bad VPL with the normal high leg pants. They are the normal pantange anyway but she still goes on about only wearing sexy thongs
She has told me that she gets waxed every 4 weeks. She's clearly forgotten to go back as it's been a good 24 weeks!
I know as she tells me in detail what she has done every weekend including prices.
I did ask why she bought her 9yr old the latest mobile and of course it's so she can call/text/ send pics and do it on a cool phone apparently.
She needs the best phone so she doesn't look stupid?
DD is going to look stupid as she isn't having a phone., never mind the best one!

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 07/02/2009 02:42

LOL I had read your other thread, but didn't associate the two... LOL She really is a twit.

Frasersmum123 · 07/02/2009 07:06

Tell her to piddle off!

piscesmoon · 07/02/2009 08:02

It seems that you are stuck with her if you work together. Try not to let her get to you, the money doesn't necessarily make her happier. I wouldn't tell her anything personal.

LynetteScavo · 07/02/2009 08:13

It's absolutely no one elses buisness how much Tax Credits you get!

She's a silly cow just for asking, and should be of herself.

georgimama · 07/02/2009 08:22

Why do you and she share so much pointless personal information with each other? It seems very odd as you clearly don't like each other.

Speak to your boss about hours, not her. Doesn't your contract of employment specify your weekly hours? If it does they can't drop below this.

LoveMyLapTop · 07/02/2009 08:31

This person is clearly insecure and brags to you to make herself feel better.
Juat take it with a pinch of salt and pay no interest. I would jusst roll my eyes and say' realy?' whenshe starts and then go and collect cups or something.
However you sound a bit petty yourself , noticing her panty line and whether she has waxed or not.
Maybe you need to look at yourself too.

lizziemun · 07/02/2009 08:43

YANBU

But can i say one thing. She was never a single mum.

Her mum was/is bringing up her daughter so she can still have a life.

I would say she jealous of you as a working single parent who has a good relationship with your daughter. Because i bet you a pound to a penny her daughter plays her of against her mum so she gets her own way all the time.

Next time she asks you about your income and what benifits you get, i would ask her if she has money worries and does she need to go to the CAB for advice to make sure getting everything she entiled to.

bellavita · 07/02/2009 08:47

I remember your thread Mugggle - this woman is clearly deranged, insecure and perhaps a little envious of you?

MrsSeanBeanIsEmployable · 07/02/2009 08:54

Sounds a very unpleasant person OP. I agree, the word 'insecurity' springs to mind. I wonder how she would have coped without all the free support she had?

I love your coffee shop cup reasoning btw!

Divineintervention · 07/02/2009 08:58

I would tell her you're getting at three times as much as you are and mention the £3 an hour raise you've just had, isn't it great!!

mrsruffallo · 07/02/2009 09:02

mugglewump- In many ways it is best to keep your own counsel, esp regarding financial affairs.
They can't judge you if they don't know

queenofbeas · 07/02/2009 09:18

I would cut ties with her NOW if you can and defintley be more careful about going into detail about money - I don't even do this with close friends.

She is is of you.