to expect my HV to concentrate on my DS and NOT my DD who died two years ago?

[chegirl]

(Deep breath). This is my first thread and I know how these can go but I am a bit fecked off after taking DS3 to the clinic today.

I used to have a fab HV. She was brilliant but she has gone on Mat Leave. I got DS3 weighed today and stopped for a chat with HV. She did her thing and then asked me about my other children, their ages etc. I did my usual one is ... one is... and my daughter would be... but we lost her a little while ago.

She said. WHAT? What do you mean? What happened.
I told her she had luekemia.
Oh so couldnt they treat her?
Yes but it didnt work.
So tell me, how did you KNOW she had it?
What do you mean?
Well what was wrong? How could you tell?
I was pretty taken aback because its not a time I like to think about. DD was in considerable pain for quite a long time before diagnosis. I mumbled something about pain and headaches and got up to go.

Then she said. I bet you are REALLY worried about your others now arnt you?
Sorry?
Well I bet you really worry about your other children.In case they get it too.

Yeah thanks for that. Great visit. Really helped, cheers.

Pinkypanther: So sorry for you. How awful and what a stupid thing to say. I know that words are useless at a time like this but I am really sorry for what you are having to deal with.

Looby: You are not the first person to say that about her upsetting someone a bit more vunerable. I doubt if she restricts her comments to enquiries about childhood cancer. I have decided to take DS3 to the clinic in a couple of weeks, while I am there I will talk to one of the regular HVs about what happened.