To hate homework and the stresses it brings?

[MamaMaiasaura]

I have always tried to make sure ds has his homework ready for school. At previous school it was spellings every night and reading. Occasionally there was a homewrk sheet to complete (often numberacy). It was a routine homework was set on a friday and due on the following friday.

This new school has the reading, no spellings and adhoc homework. When it is set it is given on a friday and due in on a wednesday. So the children dont have that long to do it.

Ds also sees his dad every other weekend, who is completely useless at getting ds to do homework and forgets it everytime which means ds has to cram it in on a monday night as he swims on a tuesday.

It has been a complete nightmare trying to get him motivated to do it again, resulting in tears all round, his, mine and babies

Admittedly he did have more time today as was off school but it was a large piece of work too and needed research.

He is 8 and i dont remeber homework at this age. I hate that the weekends and evenings can be spent in a really stressful way. It does nothing to compell him to liking school and it makes things tense for him at home.

Maybe i am completely lazy but i feel he is at school enough hours of the day and whilst i agree that it is important to support education (and he reads every day to himself and when he can to us) i really dont ge all this extra.

Leo9, I see what you are saying and it certainly is a juggling act of priorities, especially the younger the child. A school day IS a very long day to a child of 7 and under.

The main point I am making though is that DC's will generally inherit their parents' attitude towards HW and hand-in-hand with that, respect for the school as an authority.

That's why I say that even if you disagree with the amount or level of HW given, take it up with the school in the first instance - rather than critisising it in front of the DCs and inviting them to agree (which they readily will, being kids).

If the wrong attitude is fostered towards schooling and the importance of HW at primary level (like MuffinTopTheMule has agreed, thanks for your post), then it's putting your DCs at a disavantage when it comes to secondary school and GCSE work.

If they've never had to struggle to work something out or push themselves to understand something a bit more complex than they've come across befor, or do something they don't enjoy (such as TheInnocentBystander's DS and his project) - learning these skills from scratch at secondary will take them the time that other kids are cracking on with the problem in hand. That's one of the ways kids fall behind quickly.

It's nice to think they can miraculously "catch up" a few years in to secondary, just in time for GCSE's - but it's a bit of a gamble. It's not like in the soaps where the kids do sd all work or revision and then open their results to have miraculously got 4A, 4Bs, 2C's etc.

Plus no matter how old they are, DC's will still not want to do HW, would prefer to be out with their friends etc EVEN AT SECONDARY SCHOOL and during GCSE's/A Levels/University. It doesn't ever stop!

One imagines that LEM didn't intend her sentiment to be takes quite so literally.

I'm afraid I still can't agree with you on homework. As I've already said, nobody is objecting to a small amount of homework that a child can do on their own. It is however requests that obviously require parental involvement that I object to. When you WOTH and you've got 3 children, you really do not want to spend precious evenings printing stuff off the internet and sticking it to cardboard to make a poster for your 4 year old. Not least because it eats into the time you have with your other children.

Like most people of my generation, I never had any meaningful homework until 12 / 13. I had no trouble at all adjusting to more intense demands of secondary education / university and my parents had no involvement whatsoever in my homework.

To my mind, until a child is old enough to complete homework independently and is mature enough to understand that it is their responsibility, then anything above reading books and worksheets is pointless.

yanbu. when dss(16) started secondary there were guidelines suggesting that year 7 homework should be about 1/2 hour a night. It baffles me as to how schools think it is a benefit for young children who have spent the day in school to go home tired and do more work.
Education and learning are not going to be successful unless they are enjoyed - then there isn't the same fight to get them to do it.
ConfusedMama I remember wanting to do some homework because I enjoyed it. I have always found that if I enjoy studying it isn't a chore.

But it isn't about 'catching up' CM, it's about doing an appropriate level of work for the age of the child. There needn't be any 'catch up' required.

I do agree with you though that this is an issue parents need to tackle with the school without the awareness or 'agreement' of their kids.

Ds in year one was still only JUST five years old. He has some physical issues which mean that his little body is very, very tired after a day at school. He ideally needed to be in bed at 6.30ish in order for a pattern of overtiredness to set it. He is also very keen to please and if he did have homework was anxious to complete it even though he was knackered and it left almost no time for him to have a life outside of school. It's this that I take issue with; it is completely unecessary and simply adds to an ever growing, it seems to me, atmosphere of stress and anxiety about school which SATS etc also just add to.

It is the pressure on the kids that is the most worrying thing and they are not equipped to fight this so IMO we are there to do it for them

but no, it shouldn't be done by saying to the child "ah just don't bother with it".

oops in order for a pattern of overtiredness NOT to set IN I mean

confusedmama - i think your name suits you well Preperation for gcse's start at secondary school. I do support learning with my ds but i do object to these projects given with VERY little time. And half an hour work doesnt mean half an hour it can mean lots of hours depending on the child.

Also i believe there is a recent report suggesting that many of britains children are unhappy and stressed by the amount of pressure put on them.

this is raising lots for me to think about

Confused mama, i cannot, quite frankly believe your ignorance of the ritual that is the conker fight!! I have seen biology professors take this VERY seriously indeed, so she will be learning an essential life skill - you know, battering the hell out of your opponent, without so much as a scuffed knuckle yourself. Yes, it was a bit of a pants analogy.

Seriously though, it is BECAUSE i want my DD to succeed in life that i don't feel that she should be under so much pressure, so young in life! It also depends on your definition of success, she may well want to marry well and be a lady wot lunches, she might want to be a hair dresser, she might want to be a brain surgeon - if she is happy then i will have done my job

It's not an issue for us yet as DS won't be starting reception till September but: I don't approve of homework for schoolchildren full stop. The school day should contain a space of time for them to work on their own ie useing the library, writing essays, filling in work sheets, etc, and their evenings/weekends should be their free time. Having to take work home and do unpaid overtime is bad for adults, as well (with the exception of those who are really driven or love their jobs) - why should it be good for children?

Awen - Putting doesn't make you any less patronising or any more amusing.
Preparation for GCSEs themselves does indeed start at secondary school, however preparation for secondary school starts at primary. That's the point I was making.

Chocolatedot, I wasn't actually taking LEM's statement literally. I was replying to it in the spirit it was intended ie representative of a more carefree experience whilst at primary school as opposed to academic.

for the infants i think 1 piece of homework is enough,, and in the juniors they can take it up to two...
I dont do my childrens homework for them but they are only 6/7 and i want the teachers to knw that if they didnt explain it for my child to do the work i wont be doing it for them... homework is usually suposed to be on something that was covered in class and the homework is to complement that and let the parents see what was taught at school...and see your child actually try and solve problems/sums using the skills taught at school. my son loves maths and loves doing the sums using the coins...his answers are not always right but he is learning to use the coins to help... his literacy is a bit hard for him and if he cant hear the 'phonic' sounds in a word i dont push him...
conker fights brilliant i remember cheating and roasting mine( and i did fien at secondary school left with 8 gcses and college).

for the infants i think 1 piece of homework is enough,, and in the juniors they can take it up to two...
I dont do my childrens homework for them but they are only 6/7 and i want the teachers to knw that if they didnt explain it for my child to do the work i wont be doing it for them... homework is usually suposed to be on something that was covered in class and the homework is to complement that and let the parents see what was taught at school...and see your child actually try and solve problems/sums using the skills taught at school. my son loves maths and loves doing the sums using the coins...his answers are not always right but he is learning to use the coins to help... his literacy is a bit hard for him and if he cant hear the 'phonic' sounds in a word i dont push him...
conker fights brilliant i remember cheating and roasting mine( and i did fien at secondary school left with 8 gcses and college).

I totally agree LEM that success in life is a matter of opinion.

However the skill of applying yourself to the job in hand, whether you love it or not, is a useful life skill to have and is not limited to academic achievement.

Given half the chance as a child I would certainly NOT have been doing my homework and was jealous of the kids who didn't or who always had a note from their parents explaining why they hadn't attempted or completed their HW (again).

Isn't it nice for DCs to have the choice to be a brain surgeon, or a hairdresser, or a lady wot lunches? Why not have the world at their feet, and the ability to go on to be a brain surgeon if they so wished but CHOOSE to be a lady wot lunches instead?

The idea for me is that DCs are encouraged and supported to do well in all that's offered or available.

What they do with it after that is up to them.

ConfusedMama - are you aware that in many countries they don't start school until they're 7. They don't have hours and hours of homework either - most schools finish at lunchtime on Wednesdays on the continent.

They don't seem to suffer too much in later life.

There is far, far too much pressure put on young children in the UK school system. I certainly didn't do anywhere near the amount of homework my nephew (8) does and I have 2 degrees so I don't think it's held me back.

I think you've bought into the government's line on this but there is no evidence whatsoever that the amount of homework you do at a young age is linked to future academic success.

Childhood is for playing. And I actually think it's detrimental to later attitudes to eduction to find school such a bore at such a young age.

My DS is nearly 6 and he has been getting a reading book since nursery, maybe 1 or 2 books a week I have to read with him depending on them and then write a comment about. He has been in year one since sept and has only just started getting spellings once a week as a regular thing, he had a whole 6 months with no homework at all and I was getting slightly concerned. However now he has spellings and reading once I week Im quite happy with this as I do believe it is beneficial to have something, I think much more than this would probably be too much for his age.
I can understand people's comments about not having time, specially at young ages where you have to sit and do it with them can be time consuming. We had an unexpected project a few weeks back where my ds has to write a paragraph of wot he had done for each day of the weekend and draw a picture for each day,he is not used to writing so much and it took it toll on both of us, and lets just say he got alot of help, its was lucky we didnt have any huge event happening or me having to go to work anything or we wouldnt of had the time.

Well I remain glad that my children ARE developing skills in time management, organisation etc etc. I am extremely proud of them, know they will do well both in academic life and in other aspects of life and think that they are becoming lovely, fully rounded individuals. And I remain convinced that my support of their schools in all matters, including homework, has been an important part of this development.

Each to their own Spicemonster.

FWIW I haven't read or seen any "government's line" on the topic whatsoever; what I say is based completely on my own feelings and experience.

One of many the benefits of education is that it teaches you to form your own opinions rather than being spoon-fed them. I wouldn't presume that anyone's opinion here was based on a "government line"; it's interesting that it's the first conclusion you jump to.

I am against it too other than a bit of reading or spelling.

Big set projects in junior school are often contributed to largely by parents. I can't see how this helps anyone.

I helped dd with her project as did many of her friend's parents. The requirements of the project was much much more than they could manage on their own. It was ridiculous.

I saw the teacher and explained it was too much. She was not especially interested I didn't feel. All they wanted were some impressive folders to display in the foyer, which they got. From the adults

Oh, and all you good little herd animals who think that Authority should always be revered and obeyed: what are you going to do when the school or a certain teacher does something spiteful, arbitrary or unfair to your DC or indeed to the whole class? I think it's actually very important to show DC that when Authority is capricious or cruel it should be challenged immediately - and how to do it politely. Schools and teachers are not infallible. Many excellent, and many more are doing their best in difficult circumstances, to be sure. But some heads are loons with wierd agendas, and there are still some people who go into teaching because they basically get a thrill out of having power over others.

Of course it's the government's line - they are the ones who shape education and who have focused so much SATS and constant evaluation and scoring of schools.

Perhaps you're just in tune with current policy, I don't know but I would have thought you'd know what current education policy is for you to be debating it so enthusiastically.

SGB - quite agree. The fact that my mother knew what a vindictive witch my teacher was when I was 9 meant that I always knew I'd be heard at home. I shudder at the prospect of my children feeling that I present a unified front with all authority figures whether they're right or wrong.

Solidgold, I completely agree with you.

I'd like to be the counter-cultural revolutionary who banned homework for good. I resent by DD's precious free time being taken up by mindless busy-work such as maths worksheets and, her school's favourite, diary things like keeping a record of what she eats every day. It winds her up, and winds me and DH up as a result. She is not struggling and does not need the extra work.

As someone said up-thread, homework can make otherwise bright and motivated children resentful and rebellious. The approach used in schools today seems to be conspiring to kill any enthusiasm or independent thought in the children.

I do think there is value in independent study, and doing projects - and, indeed, in learning that sometimes drudgework has to be done because there are benefits to having done it, or that you can't get certain desirable results without a certain amount of monotonous or fiddly or difficult work in the early stages.
However, my impression is that education has changed since we were primary-age kids, and there is a lot more pointlessness involved. Crappy busywork such as the examples several posters have used, seems to be more about enforcing unquestioning compliance than anything else. ANd I do think that there is something in what smallclanger says about the education system wanting to kill off enthusiasm and independent thought - the government certainly doesn't like independent thought or refusals to conform.

quite right solid gold. My 70s education (would fail every ofsted going) prepared me wonderfully for an Oxbridge education. Also still feel the need to speak out when I feel something is wrong. I find the spoonfed, albeit very hardworking, students of today make me feel very miserable. They wouldn't even think of saying boo to the goose, they're too busy noting down carefully what it's saying to put together a beautifully structured but wholly unoriginal essay about it.

I do try very hard not to undermine my dd's (incredibly anal but not especially bright) teacher by making any sweeping comments about her complete obsession with homework and schoolbooks in all the right order, but at the same time make it clear that I don't accept anything or anyone without having a good think about it first. Got me into trouble at school. Might get me into trouble in Life. So what? I can live with myself.

Which is the long answer to - no, don't get worked up about children's homework. If there;s a good reason not to do it, don't. If you want to do your own thing, do that. I can't imagine that there are many MNers who don't have a pretty profound interest in their children's education and welfare. Do what you think is right.

You should check out- The Homework Myth

I find it makes a big difference at what end of primary school you are. In Reception/Year 1, the homework did seem a lot of hassle for not very much result.

In Year 6 I found dd was perfectly capable of researching a project for herself and that this was good preparation for secondary school; otherwise that would have come as a shock.

I expect my 8yo ds to be responsible for remembering when his homework is due in. It is not excessive- one set of spellings, one sheet of maths and one sheet of science per week, and he knows that if he doesn't do it at home he'll be doing it at lunchtime; helps to concentrate his mind wonderfully.

I was doing an awful lot more studying in the evenings when I was his age, but I'm happy for him to do this moderate amount. And I wouldn't dream of doing it for him; that would be dishonest as far as I can see. Either he does it or he explains to the teacher that he couldn't do it.