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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy baby clothes from Ebay?

468 replies

memoo · 27/01/2009 19:37

Long story short, I'm pregnant with my 3rd, baby isn't due til sept but we are absolutly broke, struggling to pay the rent let alone buy new baby things.

So I decided to start buying a few little things each week from ebay. I've bid on some babygrows and a pramsuit, both used but look lovely and clean.

I was casually telling a work colleague about it today and she turn her nose up when I told her I was getting stuff from ebay. She said she "would never put her baby in second hand clothes" and "you don't know where they've come from" she went on to go on about how baby clothes aren't really expensive anyway etc etc

Maybe I'm being over sensitive but she made me feel really bad, as though I was getting second best for my baby but the way I look at it is that the baby won't know or care and newborns are only in stuff for 5 minutes so even second hand stuff will have lots of wear left in them.

Like I said, maybe I am being over sensitive (pregnancy hormones are raging) but she has made me feel like I'm not doing the best for my baby.

Is it really so bad to get second hand clothes for a new baby?

OP posts:
NaturalBornThreadKiller · 27/01/2009 23:34

le ruset was very funny...

le creuset was very funny (fecking shit new cheapo tesco keyboard, should have bought one second hand on e bay)

ChippingIn · 27/01/2009 23:35

NBK - didn't work this time

Memoo - absolutely you are. But only for not bashing her over the head with the nearest heavy object!! What a rude and insensitive thing to say - regardless of your reasons (financial or ethical), this is a choice you have made, for your family and I am pretty sure you weren't asking for her opinion on it! Next time she says something so stupid you should remind her how hormonal and unpredictable pregnant women can be - and how the judges are so lenient .

Far better to have a roof over the head of your newborn in second hand clothing, than to be homeless in new clothing wouldn't you say

elkiedee · 27/01/2009 23:36

I've dressed ds1 in clothes from ebay, NCT and other local nearly new sales, and ones from friends and relatives' babies. ds2 is about to inherit most of them from ds1.

I like the variety and excitement of getting stuff secondhand, new clothes can be very predictable - I tend to have a good idea of the range of what eg Mothercare and Sainsburys where I do buy some new things are selling for quite a long time.

I've also given away the stuff that I didn't like so much eg some of the donations from family included lovely garments and ones that I'd never put ds in - so I got my mum to pass them on to somewhere they'd be useful.

I think the arguments against exploitation in the making of these clothes are good, though I sadly suspect Next and Gap stuff isn't necessarily made by people paid any more... I also think it's wrong that new parents are made to feel under pressure to go massively into debt to get their kids stuff.

Keep using ebay, or try local nearly new sales as well, they can be great fun, and enjoy what you get to dress baby in. Take no notice of your colleague.

firstontheway · 27/01/2009 23:41

I think it's sad the way that this thread has gone! But am genuinely surprised that so many people feel so strongly EITHER way tbh... surely how you dress your newborn has nothing to do with anyone else?

All my baby's clothes (apart from one new outfit bought the day I found out I was pregnant) are second hand. One bundle from a woman I work with, another from ebay, plus some 'bit and bobs' from other people. I never thought about sweatshops or anything like that, but nor did I worry that (shock horror!) another child may or may not have vomited on them. We are not rich, but we manage and if we wanted to, we COULD have bought everything new from supermarkets, primark etc (but not next or boden!). But there are other, frivolous things I would rather buy for her, which I couldn't have afforded to get if I had bought things new. In fact, EVERYTHING we have for her is second hand tbh! Pram, breast pump, cot, bouncer.... everything! I'm suprised the OP even cares what this woman said... if anyone said something like that to me, I'd happily laugh in their face!

And just to repeat what someone said on the thread earlier re: vulnerable babies. I work in a neonatal intensive care unit and we put all the babies in second hand clothes that have previously been covered in vomit, blood, urine, stolls, spinal fluid etc etc and to my knowledge no baby has ever been harmed. Because we WASH the clothes and sheets first

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 28/01/2009 00:11

Was going to read the whole thread but then read this:

"If not - stitch this: Babies dressed out of ASDA might as well wear T-shirts saying "My mummy has no taste and doesn't care who knows it". Usually end up in cut down t-shirts and awful themed t-shirts with fifi and the fecking flower tots and dare i say it "high school musical" emblazoned across their bums! MY child however is often clad in Boden, Benneton, other vague designer wear that i couldnt afford even if i saved up to it, she wears mostly next and H+M clothes. ALL of them second hand! She never looks naff, in fact people comment about her lovely clothes - so, up yer bum!"

and thought, nah, fuck it, I'll lay into this cretin instead.

"MY child however is often clad in Boden, Benetton, other vague designer wear ..." When I see a child (or, in the case of Boden and Benetton, an adult too) in this sort of label my first thought regarding the parent would be "cock-end" so I would not get to enjoy the delicious irony that they are, in fact, wait for it, second hand! And, in the case of this poster at least, my instinct would be right.

Here's a radical thought - buy your kids clothes that they need. Some of my daughter's clothes are second hand. Some of them are new. Some of them - shock horror! - come from Asda. And get this - it doesn't matter! Because in 6 months tops, by the time the George police are onto us, she'll have grown out of them!

To paraphrase: "Babies dressed out of Benetton might as well wear T-shirts saying "My mummy is a shallow aspirational mug and doesn't care who knows it".

I'm sure your post was a revenge attack on someone else, but you've ended up writing shite, I'm afraid. And ill-thought-out, snobbish shite at that.

bellabelly · 28/01/2009 00:30

My twins would have gone naked a lot of the time without the many bundles from ebay - lots of lovely clothes at hardly any cost - your colleague is just plain odd! What could be wrong with clothes that a spin in the washing machine couldn't fix? Bonkers.

beanieb · 28/01/2009 00:55

I have a work mate who is the same. Says she never got her daughter second hand anything because that's all she remembers having as a child and she wouldn't put her 'through that'! Thing is, I had hand me downs all through my childhood and I don't think it's scarred me!

Workmate also thinks people should dress their babies/small children up everyday and turns her nose up at people who just put their babies in baby-gros! Bizzare.

muggglewump · 28/01/2009 01:02

Crikey, I had no idea that second hand clothes were so contraversial!

I don't have a newborn, I have a 7yr old and I love second hand shops. I bought a lovely pair of jeans in age 9-10 last week to put by. What's the point of paying £15 when you can pay £1.50 for the same thing?

Mind you, I know people do think charity shops are beneath them. I work in a Coffee Shop, I came into work a couple of weeks back and I was showing my new mugs off (They stack, no more being attacked by mugs every time I open the cupboard) and I was aked why I didn't buy them new, wasn't it gross to have second hand mugs?

I walked away laughing to myself.

nappyaddict · 28/01/2009 01:02

No not at all. Give it a wash first if it makes you feel better but I don't always. However I have noticed a lot of clothes on ebay don't work out cheap once you add on postage. Try to bid on bundles or items all from the same seller to keep postage costs down (email first to see if they will do a deal on postage if you buy a few items from them). Also bid on items that have no other bidders and are close to ending so you get them for the starting price (usually 50p or 99p) Don't forget freecycle, bargain pages, classifieds in the paper and of course MN aswell.

shubiedoo · 28/01/2009 01:40

Another reason to buy secondhand is that new clothes are treated with formaldehyde, that's why it's recommended you wash baby clothes before wearing. Fewer chemicals to worry about!

kitbit · 28/01/2009 08:02

ds is 4 and I always buy his jeans on ebay. What 4 year old wears a pair of jeans right out? I can either pay £3 for a pair in Primark that will fall apart in 2 months and under a cloud of alleged dodginess, or the same for a pair of good quality well made ones inc postage from ebay that look like new. If they were not passed on they'd be in landfill, I know which outcome I prefer!

kizzib · 28/01/2009 08:14

I personally don't give my baby anything secondhand. I agree with the OP's work colleague - you don't know where the stuff has come from. I'm of the opinion that if you can't afford to give your baby nice things, don't have one. I am only having the one child.

daftpunk · 28/01/2009 08:22

exactly kizzib....a few of them got hysterical with me because i don't buy 2nd hand & use asda??...i had to calm things down....very odd.

christiana · 28/01/2009 08:26

Message withdrawn

kitbit · 28/01/2009 08:28

So kizzib if a family member or a friend passed on some baby clothes, you would throw them away?

christiana · 28/01/2009 08:29

Message withdrawn

alandimi · 28/01/2009 08:30

I am a single mother with very little money and the majority (say about 90%) of my baby's first clothes were effectively secondhand as they came from my sisters. This included washable nappies (that had already done two babies). Secondhand is fine and you should never be made to feel crap about buying secondhand. As long as you wash everything before using them there is no difference. And as the OP said newborns are in their clothes for no time at all so some of the stuff I have from my sisters is almost brand new (in fact some of it has never been worn).

Buying new all the time is a complete waste of money. Plus you would be surprised at the amount of new stuff (still with tags on) that you can get on ebay for very little.

Memoo - Also, I shouldn't worry about buying too much - you'll get given loads of stuff anyway - more than you need and then you can flog it on ebay!

Nekabu · 28/01/2009 08:31

OMG! What a ridiculous attitude! Once it's washed it's clean, so what does it matter if it's been worn by another baby first? I've never heard such silliness ...

There is so much excellent quality, barely used, stuff available on Ebay! I'd rather recycle and save my money for things I'll need later. I shall be Ebaying my things when I no longer need them or passing onto friends. What does your colleague suggest we do - chuck perfectly good stuff so that it ends up in landfill?

I think your attitude is totally commendable and your colleague is a muppet!

nickschick · 28/01/2009 08:31

Daftpunk trust me your dc wont be happy wearing asda clothes forever.

Kizzib- is it nice in your world? with pretty rabbits and rainbows......fgs grrrrrrr

daftpunk · 28/01/2009 08:33

nickschick....this is about newborns...i said on pg1 of this thread that for older children 2nd hand might be ok...but not newborn...if that makes me a snob, then i'll live with it.

alandimi · 28/01/2009 08:34

Kizzit - if I hadn't had my dd (whom I can't afford to put in 'nice things' all the time) I would probably be dead. She is my saving grace and I would never have not had her because of something as materialistic at not being able to put her in 'nice things'.

Bloody ridiculous.

nickschick · 28/01/2009 08:34

No it doesnt make you a snob it makes you sound immature and pathetic.

mamadiva · 28/01/2009 08:35

rm...Kizzi...I'm glad that you think everything goes to plan because it's not as though anyone has got pregnant by accident goodness me who ever heard of that?

You know actually I was thinking about this last night and some of you would have loved to have seen my DS when he born, I had spent a small fortune on outfits from Mini- Mode, Tesco, Verbaudet whatever but he was far too smallfor everything he was a week overdue and didn't fit into his NB clothes, my mum had twins 8 months before I ahd DS so, rather than buy a load of new premmie shite that lasted all of a week he spent atleast 5 days dressed in lovely 2nd hand pink babygro's He looked gorgeous. Infact most of DS'sthings came frm them babygro's, vests, bouncy chair, moses basket and steriliser but was fab I had 2 of everything

If it wasn't for that stuff then my DS would have bee sitting around in George clothes that most of our town wears, I'm not saying that against anyone I do buy from Asda/Tesco now and again but I live n a small rural area nd everyone goes to the same place!

So I am loving Ebay for different things.

christiana · 28/01/2009 08:36

Message withdrawn

mamadiva · 28/01/2009 08:42

Maybe ASDA and Tesco buytheir clothes in from the little fairy land where everything is put together in a big sparkly meadow and vaccu packed to seal in the freshness and germ free enviroment...

Either that or they are made in some famillies home in India by a bunch of 4YO's fo about 5p a day and as horrid as this is goin to sound probably has their own blood,seat and tears on it so think about that next time you would rather buy that fresh babygro instead of a decnt 2nd hand one.