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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to insist that DH finds a new home for the cat?

98 replies

Disenchanted3 · 25/01/2009 19:58

Its his cat but he constantlt runs out of food for it, he doesn't change the litter tray, we have to keep the toilet window open so it can come and go making the whole kitchen freezing.

We have 3 DC and the kids don't really bother with it.

I have a 'no cat upstairs rule' which gets completely ignored, so I find cat on kids bed, my bed... babies room

Cat was sleeping on DSs pillow the other night, just inches from his face

It always sits on the kitchen side and flecks hair everywhere.

It shits in the downstairs bathroom, the room its littertray is in BUT it shits on the floor, on top of toilet rolls and up the wall no lie.

Today i found a cat hair in my butter tub and constantly find them on plates etc

and finally ... it SHIT ON MY PREGNANCY HOSPITAL BAG.

Dh likes it alot but i have enough to deal with, i have DS4, DS2 and DD 1 month and just dont feel for this cat at all

OP posts:

lazyemma · 26/01/2009 17:26

I should add: we took her to the vet numerous times during this phase, and (after the initial illness) he could find no physical issues with her at all.

Nekabu · 26/01/2009 17:56

lazyemma, the OP said that her husband doesn't clean the litter tray. The OP isn't going to be doing it because she's pregnant and considers it his cat anyway. The cat then poos outside the litter tray which then smells (to the cat) of cat poo, which indicates a toilet area. Thus when the litter tray has been cleaned the cat won't necessarily know that and already has a toilet area to use outside, because of the lingering smell of a previous poo.

PinkTulips · 26/01/2009 18:51

not to mention that the toilet protest also probably has an awful lot to do with the fact that the poor cat knows he's not liked by certain members of the household and isn't cared for by others... certainly pooing on her hospital bags sounds very much like the cat trying to make a point to the OP

BenFMsmum · 26/01/2009 18:57

Try a different cat litter. Maybe the cat doesn't like the feel of it, some prefer the wood chip/sawdust like stuff and some prefer the clay/gravel like stuff. Just a thought....

Ashantai · 26/01/2009 21:03

Thx for the tips on my catpoo problem, and apologies for my earlier dodgy swearing!

Its just that summer is coming up, eventually!, and it would be nice to sit on my lawn without having to check it first.

I'm off to the shops to get me some oranges and lime juice. Will also try the repellent

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 26/01/2009 21:23

if it weren't so awful, I'd howl with laughter at the "didn't go with the carpet" comment.

We have a cat, we have had her for seven years. She was here before DD. I try to keep DD and the cat separate, DD is very friendly and the cat isn't, I try to ensure they dont cross paths too much when I found DD picking the cat up by the scruff of her neck and her tail.

the cat (Kai) has always been anti social, is not one of those people cats and very much prefers to be left alone. We have her in the house but not in the bedrooms; I dont like her on the beds. But she's happy in the bathroom I think because the floors are hotter, and she likes to be in the hot spot of the kitchen.

Carbonel · 26/01/2009 21:47

I have a lot of sympathy with the OP. We have 4 cats and love them all BUT since we moved 18 mths ago one of them has been weeing and pooing in the house and nothing I can do will stop it. She does it under the satirs where the kids' shoes are and has done it on their book bags several times.

Last week I found a poo in ds' shoes which was the last straw - she has been shut in the utility room since (with cat flap and bed just no access to house)!

I hate the thought of her being re-homed but I do feel that she would be better off in a house where she could be pampered rather than shut away

SoupDragon · 26/01/2009 21:48

I re read Carbonel a couple of months ago...

thirtysomething · 26/01/2009 21:52

I feel sorry for this poor innocent creature who has done nothing wrong except exist. If he's dirty in the house I agree he must be distressed as cats are naturally clean and the combination of litter tray/going outside should be sufficient. I think he deserves a better life and am certain an RSPCA shelter would be able to re-home him.

Carbonel · 26/01/2009 22:01

It's a fab book isn't it (hadn't realsied how apt it was to this thread til now )

Dd is reading it- I still have my original copy - but need to find the sequels for her ...

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 26/01/2009 22:02

true story...

We had a cat when I was growing up, called Misty. Misty was lovely. One night my dad got into bed, snuggled under the covers and got annoyed as he assumed that we had been eating chocolate in bed and had let some melt in the sheets as he was covered in something sticky.
Mum, me, my two sisters, we were downstairs watching Soldier Solider (so it was a Tuesday) and I'd been to a bonfire party or something and just gotten home. Dad suddenly started screaming from upstairs, mum rushed up to see what was going on, to find my dad in the bathroom, covered in cat poop. Dad was heaving, mum was cleaning and heaving, I was on the hall way (my cat) crossing my legs, peeing myself laughing. My dad maintains that the cat managed to get under the covers and shit on his side of the bed (mums side was perfectly fine)

We had that cat for years afterwards, and my dad was very upset when it died.

edam · 26/01/2009 22:31

fantastic story, Elf, but so glad it didn't happen to me. Wonder if I should think again about getting another cat...

catsmother · 26/01/2009 22:44

To all of you (understandably) fed up with cat poo in your gardens, have you tried speaking to the owners (if you know who they are) ?

Any responsible cat owner will sympathise and do all they can to deter this. I've got 5 cats, but live right on the edge of fields & woods, and think the cats mostly go there, but I also made a point of speaking to my immediate neighbours, giving them permission to spray the cats with a hose (which won't kill them) if they don't want them in their garden, and also offered to buy deterrents and/or come round and clear up the poo. To date, no-one's taken me up on the offer.

You can also get a plant from most garden centres called "Scardycat" which is touted as having a scent that'll put them off.

MoominMymbleandMy · 27/01/2009 01:24

Poor cat. Are you not aware that animal sanctuaries are overflowing with pets dumped because of the credit crunch at the moment?

An adult cat is going to have very little chance of finding a new home now.

Why punish the cat for your DH's behaviour?

Oh, and my cats always, always insisted on coming inside to use their litter tray. In their heads only 'common kitties' went outdoors.

nooka · 27/01/2009 03:28

I'm not sure any of those cat deterrents actually work though. My cats have always gone in our garden (at least mostly, along with some neighbouring cats too), and one of them was particularly fond of citrus, whilst another really liked cocoa shell! We have a litter tray at the moment as it's just too cold for the cats to go out much (-24C today!), and I think I might keep it, as it's much easier to clear than the garden, but I would suspect that they will be pooing outside once spring comes as it is a way of marking territory.

It is worth bearing in mind that giving your cat to a shelter doesn't necessarily mean a nice new home. The shelter we got our two from had 188 cats before Christmas. I am sure quite a few of them will end up being put down.

alipiggie · 27/01/2009 03:46

My cat is a rescue cat - and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

To keep them off surfaces, have a squirt bottle handy and every time you see them jump up squirt them. They soon learn, even older cats. As for pooing - it's upset and needs reassurance. A dog could also be the same (speaks from experience). All animals come with their own set of problems/issues. You have to be committed to them. It cannot possible just be your DH's cat, it lives in your household. Can't you get the children to help.

Please if you definitely need to rehome it, go to the Cat's Protection League first. My guess there'll be way too many out there right now.

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 27/01/2009 09:39

gosh, didn't realise this was still going on!
If I rehome it I will do it myself, not send it o a shelter.

Its only 6 months old so not an old cat.

Im a bit pissed off actually at the assumptions made here, the cat doesnt have a DIRTY litter tray, yes DH doesn't clean it out

BUT I DO, thats the problem!

I dont want to care for the cat, but I begrudgingly do!

The cat shits places because it does, not because its litter tray is dirty.

I cant stand cat hairs on my kitchen sides so do you really think I would leave cat POO and piss in a box in my downstairs toilet, which visitors use??

OP posts:

ThePgHedgeWitchIsCrankyBeware · 27/01/2009 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nekabu · 27/01/2009 11:51

Disenchanted3, I didn't think for one moment you were cleaning out the litter tray yourself, not just because of your "it's HIS cat" attitude but because you're pg! Are you wearing gloves? You shouldn't be doing litter trays but if you have to then you do need to wear gloves. Cat faeces can sometimes contain a parasite that can carry toxoplasmosis. Whilst this is OK to catch as an adult it can have very serious effects on a pg woman and/or her baby.

Nekabu · 27/01/2009 11:52

p.s., And if you are the one that cleans up poo when he goes outside the litter tray, once again please wear gloves, disinfect the area and make sure you wash your hands thoroughly afterwards.

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 27/01/2009 21:24

Im not pregnant anymore, have 5 week old

OP posts:

Nekabu · 27/01/2009 22:39

Ah, the pregnancy hospital bag mention made me think you were pg. Glad to hear you haven't been doing the litter tray whilst pg! If you gave birth 5 weeks ago and the cat's 6 months old that means, if you got it at 8 weeks, that it's had a dirty or irregularly cleaned litter tray pretty much from 2-5 months as you'd not have been able to do it because you were pg and you've said your dh didn't do it. That means it will have started going in other areas because of the tray being dirty and now, even though you've cleaned the tray, those places will still (to a cat) have a smell of a toilet area, unless you've used stuff to kill the underlying odour.

I did just write a load of stuff on how to get your cat's toilet training back on track but sadly I figured that was fairly pointless as you've made it obvious you want him gone so I deleted it. I hope he finds a good home soon, though indifferent house-training is not a good place for him to start from.

MadMarg · 29/01/2009 13:46

I'm curious - you've mentioned that you have 3 kids to look after, so don't want to look after the cat, and don't want to shop for the cat. Who does the majority of the housework? Who does the shopping?

If it's you, then you have to admit you were living in la-la land if you honestly believed your DH would do the work of looking after the cat!

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