to insist that DH finds a new home for the cat?

[Disenchanted3]

Its his cat but he constantlt runs out of food for it, he doesn't change the litter tray, we have to keep the toilet window open so it can come and go making the whole kitchen freezing.

We have 3 DC and the kids don't really bother with it.

I have a 'no cat upstairs rule' which gets completely ignored, so I find cat on kids bed, my bed... babies room

Cat was sleeping on DSs pillow the other night, just inches from his face

It always sits on the kitchen side and flecks hair everywhere.

It shits in the downstairs bathroom, the room its littertray is in BUT it shits on the floor, on top of toilet rolls and up the wall no lie.

Today i found a cat hair in my butter tub and constantly find them on plates etc

and finally ... it SHIT ON MY PREGNANCY HOSPITAL BAG.

Dh likes it alot but i have enough to deal with, i have DS4, DS2 and DD 1 month and just dont feel for this cat at all

i'd take it if you were near me.

rather have cats than a single DOG.

eeewww.

If he's not looking after it, and you don't want it, then I think it's best to rehome the animal.

I don't agree with it, but I'm in exactly the reverse situation to you.

(but it's a dog, doesn't crap everywhere and is actually an amazingly well trained animal... but DH doesn't like it, and I do everything to make sure the dog and the DH don't have too many run ins)

[just an aside...I don;t agree with getting rid of the litter tray. if it doesn;t poo in a litter tray it poos in other people's gardens. all cats should have a litter tray imo.]

Disagree with hatwoman - I would rather have no litter tray and lwt the cat roam. Even if you have a tray, if the cat goes out it will poo in other people's gardens.

On the issue of pooing beside the litter tray even if it's clean - one of our cats started doing this when I brought DD home from hospital. We didn't actually possess a litter tray as she was fully house-trained, but she just started crapping on any bag or newspaper that got left on the floor.

She was 14 at the time (cat not DD!) and when I took her to the vet for a checkup to see if there was anything wrong as she'd always been a scrupulously clean animal, the vet suggested that she might be 'acting out' against the new baby - as a previous poster said, it's true, when DD came along I had no time for my poor mogs at all (they were fed, watered, stroked in passing, but they didn't get the love & attention lavished upon them that they'd had 14 years-worth of up to that point) and she basically took the huff. I paid her a bit more attention (despite feeling like hurling her through the nearest window when she crapped on my handbag) and after a month or so (gaah!) she reverted back to her normal clean self.

Is it possibly your cat is feeling the lack of love and reacting against it?

[I know you can't for certain stop a cat that goes out from poo-ing in other people's gardens, but you can at least try. all my cats have had litter trays and they've all used them.]

and I agree with fruitbeard - cats do sometimes poo in strange places out of neglect. we had a cat that always pooed in vengeful places if we went away and left him to the cat sitter.

Rehome it. You should have put your foot down and not let your DH get the cat in the first place, if you didn't want it.

I hope it finds a more welcoming home

To be fair to OP, though, she'd be OK living with the cat if the DH cared for it...

Same goes for my dog. MY dog, MY responsibility. DH would rehome my dog if I didn't care for it cos he's not a dog person.

It's not the OP's problem that someone else isn't looking after the animal properly and I think in that instance, it's better the cat find a loving home.

I'd put money that much of the bad behaviour will disappear when the tension does too...

Your cat is an animal not an it. If you live anywhere near Dorset I will home your cat.

Oh dear, dear me.

This is why cat and dog homes are filled to the brim with unwanted animals. Why on earth don't people consider the possibility that in getting a cat, they might end up with cat hair? That the cat will need to get in and out of the house? That it might go... UPSTAIRS!

To be honest, it sounds as if the cat senses the tension and is acting up. Change the litter tray, give it attention and the problem will hopefully resolve.

And please, for the love of god, don't get another pet.

Right - you don't want it.

Sounds like DH does, but only for the nice stuff, like cuddles, and can't be arsed to actually look after it ..... which is damn irresponsible.

I accept it must be horrid to have shit everywhere but agree with everyone else who's said this probably isn't the cat's fault - but a natural reaction to a dirty litterbox.

Thing is - while DH is being a lazy, irresponsible cat owner, and you're saying "it's" not your problem, you have stalemate - with a miserable animal, and ongoing shit etc.

I'd give DH an ultimatum - that he starts to care for it properly: feeding, grooming, worming, de-fleaing, clean tray (i.e. remove solids as soon as, completely clean out at least every 2-3 days, or sooner if heavily wet and/or smelly) within the next week ........ AND ...... maintains that care from now on, or, as soon as he slacks off, you will take the cat to a rehoming centre.

And TBH, if you already know deep down that DH doesn't keep promises, take the cat anyway and at least give him/her a chance of a loving home.

Meant to say as well, if DH promises to step up to the mark, he should also get the cat checked out re: shitting everywhere (in the way you describe, like up the wall) in case it has stomach problems.

Cats sometimes mess everywhere when they are anxious. One of my cats went through a phase of being bullied by her brother and she used to weeon our dining room carpet daily.

We have two dogs (housed in heated kennels) that DH idolises and I have nothing to do with, they are the bane of my life with regards to him taking hours out of the weekend sorting them out BUT if he is not able to look after them, I step in because I firmly believe every animal has a right to be looked after properly. I feel sorry for your cat and either you and DH need to act like responsible pet owners or re-home her.

This my cat/dog thing really doesn't work IMO except if you live on your own. In a family set up the pet belongs to the family, and as with everything else going on with a family the adults should take joint responsibility. If you dislike cats so much you should have said no in the first place. If you say yes then you are taking on the responsibility as much as your partner. So you buy whatever the cat needs as part of looking after the household, you provide for it the same way as everyone else, whether that is a cat flap, clean litter tray, food, vet visits, whatever (you meaning you and your dh together). If you as adults cannot do that and the cat is unhappy then you need to accept it will not behave well, and that it the consequence of your behaviour, not because it is a nasty animal (cat's don't really have enough brain to be nasty). So either figure out how to make things work in your home, or find it a new home.

My old cat had problems with pooing everywhere, and increasingly odd behaviour. The vet said it was a form of senile dementia. We had to really restrict where he had access to, as he got confused and lost even coming into a room. It seemed very mean to shut him into the utility room at night (with the cat flap) but it did do the trick. We didn't have a litter tray because his aim was a serious problem (up the wall is really quite gruesome, I agree). He didn't poo in other people's gardens though because he couldn't get over the fence.

MAKE him change the litter every evening and send him out to buy food for the cat. If it shits anywhere, just scoop it up and put it in his sock drawer/shoes/pockets/car? Get him to look for advice on the internet about toilet training cats.

Also, try to love the cat, poor thing. it maybe feels a bit unwanted, cats are very sensitive. A lot of animals in cat/dog homes end up getting put down because they get sick or aggressive in the kennel environment. I hate the assumption that animal homes are a solution for unwanted pets, a lot of them just don't get rehomed.

Poor bloody mog

Tell your DH to get his finger our or its will be going somewhere it will be loved.

Cat's don't belong to one person. More than anything they belong to a house and the people in it. I find the OPs tone quite distressing. It's an animal, not a thing.

it can come and join my 3 (and dog)

I am lucky not to care about the occasional bit of animal poo

I would have it put down, before the baby comes.

You agreed to get the cat. It is a family pet, even if it is your dh that originally wanted it it belongs to all of you and is as much your responsibility as his. If your children had pets would you tell them that you wouldn't look after them if they didn't and thus let them die?

Animal shelters are full of unwanted animals which have been given away because people have got bored of them/haven't considered the consequences of having them.

And what are you teaching your children? When you get bored of an animal you just get rid of it?

You are acting like a child and are treating your dh like one. Grow up.

I'm weeping with laughter at the "no cat upstairs" rule. Have you sat the cat down and told it about this? [snort]

I now shut my 2 in the kitchen at night where they have access to their food, litter tray(utility room, not kitchen!) and the cat flap yet can't nibble our toes in the night.

Tell your DH that if he doesn't deal with the cat, you are going to rehome it.

Was so hoping your last word was going to be him.

Poor cat having to share a house with you!

Totally agree with Wannabe.