To feel let down and upset?

[LolaTheShowgirl]

I moved into my new flat and even though it's very basic, it is a world away from the rough bedsit I was in and i'm so happy

I finally got everything done and put all my bits and pieces up and it looks like my standard of a showhome lol

I asked my mum if she would like to come over for dinner tonight. I also invited her husband as I thought it would be very unfair not to. She accepted and they were supposed to be arriving at 6pm. I invited her last week so plenty of notice and she said yes straight away. So table laid and 3 course meal cooked which has taken me all day to prepare because I wanted it to be perfect and it cost the best part of £50 and at 6:05, just as I noticed they were late my mum phoned and said they weren't coming because her husband doesn't want to. I asked if he was ill and he is fine. I asked if just my mum wanted to come alone and she said that her husband doesn't want to stay in the house on his own and he ranted on about how disrespectful it would be if my mum went out and left him alone. I am so upset at being second place. All this trouble i've gone to today and now my appetite is gone to eat it on my own

Well he has just gone. The evening was just magical.

His daughter was already asleep when they arrived so we got straight to dinner and the conversation went like we have known each other forever. Then a song came on and we both discovered it is one of our favourites so we danced and then we finished the evening watching Bridget Jones and he said he loves the film so it is nice to know he has a feminine side! We were sat close watching the dvd and he put his arm around me and told me he had a lovely evening and that he's going to have to try and match my cooking skills now and cook for me at his place!

So there we were, his arm around me when we heard a piddle. His daughter weed on my other sofa! She woke herself up with weeing, took one look at her dad and one look at me and burst into giggles and we all couldn't stop laughing so there was the ice broken with her! She gave me a big cuddle and kiss as she left and asked if she can come again and be awake next time so I think we're going to get along fine...

Oooo i've just seen this, how exciting, any news yet?

Ah x-posts

Aw Lola thats lovely. What a nice happy ending.

Oh how lovely, every cloud has a silver lining

so glad the evening turned a corner Lola

so glad the evening turned a corner Lola

oooh how exciting!!

I think you should ignore your mum for a while as she brings you down...............

Oh how lovely!!
(Hope the wee comes out.)

glad it all went well, (girly giggles coming) lol
did you get your kiss?

brilliant, thats fate

and I forgot, they are coming around again on Thursday, we are going to chill at mine a bit and then we are all going for lunch somewhere and then he's going to show me their house. I'm so excited!

That's lovely Lola

Aww what a great story!

Glad it turned out well in the end Lola.

Lola, I am so glad you got some benefit out of your ma being a class 1 bitch. Sounds like your evening went much better without her! What a wonderful silver lining and so glad for you (even if you do have to get pee out of your other sofa, small price to pay. )

This is the nicest thread I've read for ages!

aw lola, I am so pleased for you

Hey Lola, only just seen your posts - started at the beginning and was so for you. Its so hard when we still want our mum's approval and keep getting slapped down, but people will do what they can get away with, so make sure you tell her calmly that you found her cancellation unacceptable.

Then read your lovely happy ending - you do sound so excited. Go, girl - sometimes all it takes is a leap of faith. Good luck with new chap.

Aww that's lovely

Awww - what a lovely thread Lola. Sorry about your mum - I know what its like to have crap parents too - but so pleased for you about new man. He sounds really lovely!

Hurray!

You've cheered up my gloomy Monday.

PS Kick mother into touch.

What a lovely thread! It's really made me smile! What a result!

Oh, and your mum sounds horrid. I would avoid making these gestures too often in the future, if she's going to let you down like this. And her husband sounds an arse as well.

Good luck on Thursday - let us know how it goes....

Lola, if I believed in such things I would say this is Karma - in a nice way. I know you probably care about your Mum but please keep the lady at arms length.

LolatheShowgirl

Well done you for moving out.

Your Stepfather(I presume this is what you mean when you write my mothers husband) is a leech on your Mother and she allows this to happen to her. Infact she enables him - why, god knows but those are her issues and you cannot fix this for her. Some women do put their partners before their children.

You can only work on your own self here.

Time and again you are disappointed rightly by the actions of these people but they being toxic and dysfunctional will not change; you have to change how you yourself react to them. You have enabled your Mother to date; you need to stop enabling her. She has chosen a life with this leech and I would argue puts him before you every time. He sounds like he has your Mother on a lead and controls her every move but she allows this. She is also culpable here.

Would suggest you read "Toxic Parents" written by Susan Forward.

I just love this thread, I've gone all goose-pimply.