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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel let down and upset?

84 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 25/01/2009 18:56

I moved into my new flat and even though it's very basic, it is a world away from the rough bedsit I was in and i'm so happy

I finally got everything done and put all my bits and pieces up and it looks like my standard of a showhome lol

I asked my mum if she would like to come over for dinner tonight. I also invited her husband as I thought it would be very unfair not to. She accepted and they were supposed to be arriving at 6pm. I invited her last week so plenty of notice and she said yes straight away. So table laid and 3 course meal cooked which has taken me all day to prepare because I wanted it to be perfect and it cost the best part of £50 and at 6:05, just as I noticed they were late my mum phoned and said they weren't coming because her husband doesn't want to. I asked if he was ill and he is fine. I asked if just my mum wanted to come alone and she said that her husband doesn't want to stay in the house on his own and he ranted on about how disrespectful it would be if my mum went out and left him alone. I am so upset at being second place. All this trouble i've gone to today and now my appetite is gone to eat it on my own

OP posts:
Coldtits · 25/01/2009 19:25

YOu don't WANT CANDLES ANYWHERE NEAR A 2 YEAR OLD

Go and get the lamp out of your room and set it up in a corner. This will keep lighting low but realistic.

And realistically, 2 year old may not settle. XCross your fingers.

Either way, you will have a nice time!

Mooseheart · 25/01/2009 19:26

Wahey! Make sure you come back and tell us how it goes!

aGalChangedHerName · 25/01/2009 19:26

Candles are fine. Have wine and relax......

pavlovthecat · 25/01/2009 19:26
aGalChangedHerName · 25/01/2009 19:26

Oh didn't see the bit about the 2 year old ooops

Lulumama · 25/01/2009 19:28

lola, first of all, well done on moving out. that is a huge step

however, based on everything you have posted here about your mum , including the recent thread about her wanting you to get her a loan, i have no idea why you are even surprised/disappointed/let down by her

i would seriously look into some counselling to help boost your self esteem and take steps to stand up to her, or cut her out of your life

all she does is upset and hurt you BUT you allow her to

LolaTheShowgirl · 25/01/2009 19:28

He will be here in about 1/2 an hour. I will post when he has gone I just told my next door neighbour who is lovely and he is going to walk past and subtly peer in through the window in a few hours to make sure everything is ok! I'm going to get changed so I will post when they have gone, hopefully after i've been kissed lol!

OP posts:
tiggerlovestobounce · 25/01/2009 19:28

You are NBU to be annoyed at your mum, how rude of her.

If you are worried at all about tonight get a friend to phone you a couple of times to check that everything is OK, but I think bringing a 2 year old is a reassuring sign.

moondog · 25/01/2009 19:28

OH My gOD.
yOUR MOTHER Is insane!!!
Poor you!

Hope it goes well with the chap though.
Let us know!

Coldtits · 25/01/2009 19:29

oohhhhh how EXCITINGGGG!!!!!!!

theresonlyme · 25/01/2009 19:29

CANDLES might seem a bit too contrived.

LolaTheShowgirl · 25/01/2009 19:33

I've got lights that dim in the dining room so i've put them on low. Should I offer his daughter some dinner if she is awake when she gets here?

OP posts:
theresonlyme · 25/01/2009 19:34

Yes.

Way to a man's heart - through kindness to his daughter

Thefearlessfreak · 25/01/2009 19:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Alambil · 25/01/2009 19:53

Hope it goes well tonight, Lola - take care and have fun x

It sounds to me like your mum's partner is awfully controlling. HE didn't want to come to dinner but she can't come alone because he doesn't want to be alone in his house??!!

LoveMyLapTop · 25/01/2009 19:56

Wow Lola haave a lovely evening.
Your mother is a bitch and then some.
Let us know how it went tonight.

Wallace · 25/01/2009 20:00

have fun

Dior · 25/01/2009 20:02

Are you the same poster who used to live with her mother and step-father, and both were horrible to you? If so, I would stop making an effort with them. It sounds as if your mother is under the influence of her husband and has no strength to put you first for once.

CharCharGabor · 25/01/2009 20:05

What a nice thing to happen after a horrible let down. Enjoy!

Intheclouds · 25/01/2009 20:08

Fate is a strange thing.

elkiedee · 25/01/2009 20:12

Sorry about your mum and her husband's rudeness but glad to hear it's presented this opportunity. Hope it's all going well.

LoveBeingAMummy · 25/01/2009 21:35

Everything happens for a reason - hope its going well!

loobeylou · 25/01/2009 21:58

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

i can't wait to hear feedback on the evening!!

BananaSkin · 25/01/2009 22:08

Oooh, how exciting. I'm going to be glued to this thread! Good luck Lola.

Don't expect too much if his daughter is there though ...

bellavita · 25/01/2009 22:15

Lola - your mum wants you to take out a loan for her, but cannot get her arse into gear to come and have some dinner with you that you have gone to a lot of trouble to shop and prepare for!!

I am so glad you are going to have some company tonight, hope it goes well.

Seriously, I think you need to take a look at your mum's relationship with you.

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